Perfect Children?

Yes my children are fine, never gave me any problems.

Scentia I too have a son like that, still now at nearly 30, it grieves me. Again, started at 15, periods of ‘normal’, which are so lovely, then, like now, down again.
My daughter, single Mum to two, had her moments during her teens, but is now, in her early 30’s a pleasure. You have my understanding ?.

My children both committed misdemeanours/crimes, one which necessitated a painful visit from a very stern policeman. I confessed to my staffroom, as I taught in the village school where we lived, and everyone from the Head down regaled me with stories of the misdeeds of their children and /or siblings , which was very comforting, as I was terrified we were facing a life of crime.
I think if you support your children, admit they have misbehaved but do not condone their misdeeds, generally they grow up well. I do have one friend whom I admire for the way she confronts her own problems, but who cannot see the faults of her children, and always blames someone else or says they have been picked on. Consequently, now in their mid-thirties, they continue to make a mess of their lives and waste their abilities.

I’m giggling away.... my 3 are looking more angelic by the minute.
Mustn’t be smug as number 3 is only 26.

Daughter 15 took out her savings and flew to Tenerife to live with the 30 plus druggy bouncer she had met on holiday. He had no food in the flat but luckily she bumped into neighbours who fed her and advised her to come home.Very sensible now. Eldest left home at 15 after setting bedroom on fire and was off the rails until his 3 idiot mates decided to go to tech and do some exams. He is the only one of the 3 to pull himself out of that spiral and succeed.Other son was sensible and never got caught except the one time daughters 14 year friend was found in bed with him. He claimed and was believed that she had crept in during the night and he didn't know she was there!Going by her later behaviour this may have been true. A few years later my other son couldn't get into his bedroom as the door was locked. She had another boy in there and wouldn't come out, shameless hussy.

When I worked as PA to the head of a secondary school I had to field calls from parents of appalling teenagers who had been temporarily excluded. None of them believed their children were capable of such bad behaviour (and I am talking constant disruption, violence, sexual bullying). I remember one mother telling me her teenage son “would never lie to me”. I said to her I had brought up two teenage boys and would have been really worried if they had never lied to me!

Nothing wrong at all with the 4 I brought up, 2 of them step-children. No trouble at all.

It's been their offspring years later----nightmares !

My children are far from perfect, the first son a teenage nightmare, my daughter good as gold all through teenage years then once she hit twenty all he’ll broke loose, I was totally blind sided. Third child, a boy, good up to now, he is 30 though.
My friend says her children have never given her any trouble, they are 28 and 31, and still live at home, hmm really?

Where do I start- unsuitable men, drinking to excess; smoking pot and spendthrift ways - hang on a minute that was me not her!!!!! In truth DD not really a worry apart from having an abusive boyfriend as a young teen and being too proud for too long to admit she’d made a mistake. But saw sense in the end and been happy with lovely current partner for years now.

Gosh - I think I got off very lightly!

I know my 3 DDs probably smoked a bit of pot at a particular friend's house (parents were very liberal and mostly away) and one needed the morning-after pill once (luckily OH was a doctor and could conjure up the necessary goods!) but that really is about it. What a lucky lady I am!!!

I am thinking that part of the reason is that all 3 had things that they loved doing to focus their mind on: music, learning instruments that they loved and did well with, horse riding (cost us a blooming fortune but worth it!); and most of their friends were decent kids, which is a stroke of luck rather than design.

I commend all those who have dealt with far more colourful teenage battles! You deserve your retirement.

As I observed to DD who was having a standoff with DGD1, this looked to me like nature getting my own back!

As so many have said, no such thing as a perfect family and the ones to be admired are those who dealt with the problems and still raised responsible adults. Lovely stories here to give heart to the strugglers.

Last Mother Day, I received aw great card from my (50 yr old) son which had a very large CONGRATULATIONS and then went on to say, 'You must have done something right as I have turned out perfect in every way'.
Did give me a great laugh in these very dismal times..

Yes momb sometimes ignorance is bliss isn't it.

We have certainly had our fair share of worries bringing up 5 lads! Our eldest has given us the most worry. I imagine there is a lot we don't know about and for that I am grateful!!

Perfect children? Don't have them, don't want them.

Now my grandchildren? Absolute paragons

No major incidents with my DDs...that we knew about...but not perfect either..who is?
A friend of ours is a always regaling us with the amazing & wonderful things his grandchildren do... My dgc are fab to me but pretty ordinary to to anyone else

If they didn't get up to these things then what would we talk about when they finally come through the other side ? We have plenty of tales of our boys' misdemeanors as teenagers which have now passed into family legend. Luckily nothing too terrible ... or not that they've admitted to!

I have two, the girl was a nightmare child up until she was about 10 and the boy was an angel until he was 15. I have spent the last 15 years worrying about my boy in some way or other and actually relish the fact I don’t often hear from him, as a call usually means he is in trouble with money, drink, drugs or a woman!! When he is quiet it’s a case of ‘no news is good news’. My daughter was a boring teenager and married very young to a boy a year older she is only 25 and is currently on her 5th pregnancy, she is a fantastic mum, very stoic and has been through more troubles than my boy but seems to cope so much better. I did nothing different with either of them but, boy they are polar opposites. Love them both dearly but feel like I don’t really know my son now.

who on earth has perfect children

Me! But I have my rose tinted specs on ?

Good grief, who on earth has perfect children. I am very proud of my three sons, but no way are any of them perfect, or ever have been. Two went through puberty quite well, no issues but the other one didn't, in a big way. They each still have their own imperfection, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
But I love them all dearly.

I had five Daughters, none of them were perfect as teenagers, two came home Pregnant and had babies at 17, one caused me great embarrasment at work, she had an affair with my Manager who was a married man of 42, she was only just 15 at the time, he was a typical womaniser, and promised her the career of her dreams. It cost him his Job and his Marriage, he was investigated by the police for having sex with a minor under 16years, and his employer reported him to the UKCC for unproffesional conduct, he was very lucky that he was not perminently stripped of his qualifications and Pin number. He was stupid enough to take his affair into my workplace, but always made out he was helping my daughter with her GCSE studies, and l was trusting enough to believe him. It was my work collegues who blew the whistle on him in the end, and a full investigation took place.
One Daughter went off to be a typical uni student, often spending her food money on nights out and festival tickets, often ill and needing us to drive the 60mile trip at all hours of the day and night to bring her home, feed her, and let her sleep for a few days. It was a four year rollercoaster of highs and heartbreak, but she finally made it and Graduated with a batchelor of Laws degree, and gave birth to a baby girl the following year.

I did laugh reading some of these stories. Yes, sleepless nights here too but the majority of young hell raisers turn out OK in the end.

Pantglas2

I’ve often wondered why I expected my daughter to be perfect given what her mother got up to......?

? Same here....

I detest the phrase ‘let them be young while they can’ usually said by people with the most ill-behaved and undisciplined youngsters.

angiemary64 that is so sad to hear. I am sure your DGD will need you in future. Try not to lose faith in the love you have for each other