I don’t know if I’m overreacting

well my first comment is , that we are all different!
However, having said that, I am elderly, always been there for my kids.. etc... made me think though, reading these posts.

I know I am not good at saying if I don`t feel well, and even saying how getting old "sucks" I am and always have been independent, and yes, a common trait... we hate to admit that getting older does give us problems..

so perhaps it is our "fault" that we don`t tell our children how we are feeling,

also, I so hate the thought of losing my independence... struggling with that... need to have help in the house, but can I do that! enough...

just hoping it all works out well for you.

Sorry - the picture came out on the Preview!

I think this says it all!

tell your daughter you are feeling unloved! sometimes it is thoughtlessness! when you have been juggling all the balls for them for so long they forget you are vulnerable! don't write it down in a letter, it will be there forever!..... I wish you well and am sure you will be feeling better soon!

Fecklar I am sorry you are not well and feel that your daughter is not giving you the support you deserve. Chewbaccas advice seems sound to me - tell your daughter how you feel and say you would like some help please. II hope you are feeling better soon.

I kind of agree with eazybee. Just ring your daughter, tell her you’re still awaiting the results of your covid test and that you’re hoping to be able to help out again soon. Don’t even mention how hurt you feel, treat it like a normal conversation, no recriminations, but make sure that she does actually realise how poorly you were/are. I think luckygirl has hit the nail on the head in that these days people are so busy juggling their own lives, they forget that their parents are not as young and fit as they were.
I have the opposite problem with my parents. They don’t realise how old they are and how much help they need, so it does actually work both ways!!! Keep your chin up and I hope you feel well soon.

Sadly, the more you do, the more people expect. Then when you stop, they resent you.

I must confess with shame that I thought I was doing my mother a tremendous favour in allowing her to look after my children, partly because she was always pushing me into having/developing a career, as she had been forced to give up her much-loved career after the war.
However, if she was ever ill we all went round with flowers, grapes and Lucozade to 'cheer her up.'
I would ring your daughter and tell her you are awaiting the results of your covid test, and warn her that as you feel so ill you may not be able to help out for the next fortnight: self-isolating.

Your daughter's support has just gone ill so she is juggling all you do and whatever she normally does. She is probably feeling the strain and hasn't the time or energy to add in a text. She probably feels you will let her know how you are. Try not to take offence. My daughter says she always feels that she is the bottom of my list (although she takes up more time than my other kids) but she would never think to pick up the phone to see how I am if I am ill! She really doesn't mean anything by it but it does make me go "ouch" sometimes. However, the pleasure I get from the children is worth it.
I hope you feel better soon.

I do think it is true that AC do not understand how debilitating the slowing down and pain of getting older is. I am sure hat I in my turn did not understand that in relation to my own parents.

I do not think you are being "punished" in any deliberate way - they are probably just a bit frantic with children and jobs to hang on to. Try to put that feeling aside or you will have a falling out which will help neither of you.

I do hope you will be feeling better soon.

Mum's don't get ill, they're not allowed !
I'm afraid this remains to be a fact that if you're not known to be a " sickly " person, the minute you fall victim to something the whole world caves in as if you're making things up because it's never been known that a favour can't be carried out. ( taken for granted springs to mind )

It's quite a bittersweet situation as the refusal suddenly leaves them dumbfounded and you wondering what you've done to upset the applecart.
Just try and explain that if anything " nasty " arises from your test that you don't want to spread it, nor do you want to compromise your own health.

That's sad that she hadn't asked how you felt. Did you tell her how unwell you were or did you underplay it? AC can be quite blind to their parents aging and she's maybe oblivious to how you feel as she tries to manage her circumstances. There was another thread where a gran felt left out and there was good advice on it. I hope you feel better soon. ?

Did you phone or text her to tell her you had to have a Covid test - and to add that it was fortunate in the circumstances that you didn't come to help, not unfortunate, as you posted? If you did, and she hasn't asked how you are, then you are right to be peeved, but if you didn't keep her up to date, maybe she thinks you just had a sniffle and are OK now. If I were you, I would contact her and tell her how rotten and weak your illness is making you feel - but I wouldn't make a big thing of criticising her if she was unaware of the Covid test.

I think that our adult children sometimes forget, or lose sight of the fact, that we're getting older and not always able to do all the things that we used to do with such ease. If I was in your position, I'd tell your daughter how you're feeling; it may well be that she's just not realised.

Fecklar you’ll be surprised how many parents with AC are in your position. Not sure why, and as you prove it’s not just DILs but also our own DD. If you don’t do as they say you feel you have upset them even if you had more than valid reasons. As you say you then don’t want to alienate them so you leave it at that. I don’t have any practical advice but just wanted to say it’s not just you.

Just tell your daughter what you have told us, either by word or writing a letter. Good luck and hope you feel better soon.