My friend is a right wing racist

Even if she stopped talking about politics do you still want to be friends with a racist that's the question

friends are people who make us feel full and at ease, you can have friendly debates,she sounds on a different planet.I think if we are to progress as a species we have to drop racism etc , she is draining you, get rid. she is not worthy of your friendship

Delete her from WhasApp?

Well, anyone who worships Donald Trump...........

My friend's husband surprised me last Xmas when he said he admired DT. I think very differently of him now.

You can block calls from individuals, and I suggest you do so to avoid further distress

Delete her phone number from your mobile, she can’t then contact you via WhatsApp. Mobile phones these days!!

I completely agree with you!

Newatthis, do you want to keep this person as a friend (keeping her racism/views out of your relationship) or do you want to end your friendship? It seems to me that this needs clarifying in order for GNs to offer advice.

As you are both on WhatsApp you can send her a message explaining how you feel , tell her straight that if she wants to keep in touch with you she must not talk about politics and all that goes with it as you are not interested, make it clear that if she does then , sorry , but you’ll have to end your friendship. Then at least she will have the choice wether to remain friends or not .

I have several friends in the US who have varying political views. One couple in Florida are Trumpers and I have to say I have been avoiding video calling, in the present situation as I would like to stay friends. She has never said anything racist she is just a lifelong Republican. I do wonder if they even see what we see. I agree with the others I can forgive ‘Trump’ but never racism .

Yes I had a major fall out with a friend over her views.
I have friends that have completely different political views to me and that is fine.
BUT when this particular friend crossed the line and made me feel very uncomfortable, I just had to leave. It was in the middle of a meal with other friends, so I explained my reasons and departed.

You need to be straight with her and tell her politics isn’t something you enjoy talking about.If she values your friendship then hopefully she would understand, but if she ignores your wishes then I’m afraid your friendship needs to end.

Personally I’d be able to ignore the right wing political views, however not the racism. If this “friend” is being openly racist in conversation I’m afraid I’d feel an obligation to challenge that, otherwise i’d feel complicit.
It’s up to you and your own conscience what you can tolerate and to determine whether “friend” is merely a dedicated Republican or a bigot. If it’s the latter I wouldn’t be able to continue a friendship.

I had a work colleague I stayed friends with for years after I’d moved to another country - she was to the far left and very anti Semitic. I chose not to pick up again when I returned to Wales.

Politics is one thing I don’t feel the need to approve of in my friends but racism is a step too far, whichever direction it comes from.

I think we should be more selective about how we use the word friend. To me it implies an ongoing reciprocal relationship of some weight and import in my life. No one I describe as a friend is a racist or has racist views.

Is she really a friend? You lost touch for years and then she reappears.

I would just tell her kindly and politely that while it was nice to hear from her, over the years you have not been in contact, you have both changed so much that you now have little in common and you wish her well, but do not wish to continue to be in contact.

If that doesn't do the deed, block her online and on the phone. She will get the message eventually.

Even if you manage to stop politacal conversation and stop racist remarks in conversation you still have a friend who "bombards" you if you don't answer calls...

That's not ok, nothing about her is someone you need to have contact with.

What welbeck says, exactly.

how can you be friends with a racist.
just send her an email saying that.
that you cannot be friends with a racist, and that to continue to be in contact would feel like colluding in something you find morally repugnant and plain wrong.
wish her well and say goodbye.

I can, and have had to, avoid Brexit conversations with those people I know who voted for leaving, although it is getting harder as the approaching catastrophe gets nearer, but I do accept that they made their decision, as did I, after evaluating and deciding what was best. But, racism is never ever acceptable and I would not be prepared to stay friends wit someone whose life views are so different to my own. By not calling her out on her views, by continuing to be 'friends' with this person you are accepting and thus condoning her vile views.

I have a friend who is very right wing (she likes Farage). By mutual agreement we stay away from politics we have other things in common. Perhaps you could tell your friend that you value her friendship but you really can't agree with her politics and would prefer her not to raise the matter again because it upsets you. If she continues to harrass you she isn't being a friend, then you should cut ties with her.

I sometimes think I am a right wing racist when I hear of people being beheaded and other times I love the world when I read the poet Rumi. He asked what is hatred. Worth reading but I wish more ignorant young men had read him.

Racism is not politics- there are NO comparisons whatsoever. Links perhaps.

grannyrebel7

I think you should keep her as a friend and whenever politics comes up you should put your views across and make her see that her views are wrong.

I don’t think it’s up to the OP to ‘make her see her views are wrong’ they are not wrong to her however much she disagrees. My neighbour is a Labour supporter I am not yet we get on like a house on fire. Keep politics out of friendship is my advice.

I think you should keep her as a friend and whenever politics comes up you should put your views across and make her see that her views are wrong.