Foot in mouth moments

Mu grandmother was christened Kate - and hated it, all her life had people to call her Kitty. I was named Kathryn, but no-one spelt it right, so when I entered 6th form, which few of my friends did, decided that I was going to be called Kate. Grandma then decided that she liked it on me, and when she moved house told everyone her name was Kate!

If only I could get my foot in my mouth - well, near it. at least!

@LauraNorder. I’ve done that . Still haunts me.

There was a lady who I talked to at a mother & toddler group, I hadn’t seen her for ages as she had moved to another village, and I bumped into her in shopping Safeway. We had a lovely chat and I exclaimed “oh congratulations I didn’t know you were having another baby,when are you due?” (looking at her big tummy) and she says “I’m not pregnant”. I wished the floor would open and swallow me up! I have sworn from that day never ever ever to ask that again, and keep my big mouth shut, unless I know for definite they are expecting.

What a funny thread!!! Laughing ? so hard on this miserable day!! I love Gransnet!!!!

I have put my foot in my mouth many times although because it can be embarrassing I try to keep my moth shut a bit more.

One most embarrassing time was when a friend of my daughters was coming for a meal. The GC had been told that he had a damaged leg and now wore a false leg that the doctor had given him. The children were told "Do not say anything about his leg"

Everything was going smoothly until 6 year old tripped on his foot and then asked him "Did your false leg feel that? now the doctor has taken your other leg away. He found it comical and could not stop laughing, my daughter was most embarrassed.

One of my favourite sayings - 'engage brain, open mouth' but I never remember it in time to avoid the foot in mouth moments!!

A new acquaintance once said to me, "Oh, you're not a bit like your sister are you? She's really nice!"

Ouch!

Once said to a young man larking about in my office
"young man behave yourself otherwise I will kick your crutch"
he had fallen and broken his ankle and on crutches

Years ago I was at a dance class and saw a woman I hadn't seen in a while. After exchanging a few niceties and that it was good to see her again. I also asked when her baby was due. (She was large).

She replied that she wasn't pregnant and that she was in kidney failure. Oops!

We never saw her at the dance class again. ?

I once said that I hated begonias. The response was, "I had begonias in my wedding bouquet." Whoops.

When we were painting our first home I went into a DIY shop and asked if they sold Durex paint instead of Dulux much to the amusement of the male assistant.

My aunt, who had been very downtrodden by her husband, took on a new lease of life after he died.

She hadn't been "allowed" to have short hair whilst he was alive, so she plucked up courage and went into the hairdressers.

She practiced what to say all the way there, then blurted out "I want a cut and blow job" when asked what she wanted.

Many years ago DH's new boss asked us to their house for dinner. I was a shy, unworldly little thing who struggled when meeting new people. I was attempting to make conversation with the boss's (to me very sophisticated wife).
We got on to the subject of neighbours. I said that the people next door to us were a funny lot. I said 'They eat strange things, like sprout tops'. She replied 'Well we've got sprout tops' today. Please feel free to leave them.' The rest of our time there was excruciating. If course many years later I gave eaten and enjoyed sprout tops'.

I was meeting a senior colleague for the first time and was asked to wait in her office. There were several lovely photographs of two young boys dotted about, so when she arrived, I asked her if they were her grandsons. It turns out they were her sons. Great start...

In his boy racer days DH once found he'd been lecturing Jim Clark on how to drive round Brands Hatch. He never did live that one down.

Almost a year ago to the day, I was in the supermarket making small talk with another (sixty something) lady while we looked at Halloween pumpkins.

That's when I noticed she wore a short, sparkly jean biker's jacket with tassels, extra long, very busy, crocheted scarf, lizard print leggings, high heel (brass studded) platform boots, big hair and lots of makeup.

I had seen rock stars who dressed that way, so when she was leaving, I commented with all sincerity, "Lovely chat and great costume, by the way!" "Oh no..." she replied cheerfully. I always dress this way. I like to design my own clothes" (Ooops!)

kircubbin2000

I remember my son telling someone he didn't have a leg to stand on and then realising he actually had an artificial leg!

I witnessed our new receptionist asking a visitor if he needed a hand when he was negotiating the heavy main doors with a pile of files under his arm. She hadn’t realised that he only had one arm.

He replied that he’d love one, if she had one to spare!

This is a very funny post ! I've done the "when is the baby due ?" only to find that it's already here.
Another one, my husband was in hospital and I was chatting to another woman while we waited to go in to visit. A very overweight woman doctor went by and I remarked that I always wonder what someone eats to get like that, She didn't comment , but next visiting time she was with her sister who was huge.
One fellow Scorpio told me that tactlessness is a trait of our Zodiac sign so that's my excuse.

I tried to give my DC names which couldn't be shortened but guess what? The nicknames are worse. My Mum called my sister Julie, thinking it couldn't be shortened-she got called Ju at school!

Many years ago I was talking to a service user who had been visited in my absence by a chatty colleague. Yes, I said X wil talk... the hind leg off a donkey. That's right, the service user had a glass eye. I felt terrible but the conversation carried as normal.

Where I used to work, one lady used to wear very heavy make up, especially eye make up. She was off work for a few weeks after being slightly injured in a car accident.
Another colleague, who was not known for her tact, said to this lady on her return to the office 'I'm so glad you're back. How are you?'' The lady said she was OK now and had just a slight problem with her back. The colleague replied 'Oh that's not too bad then and your black eyes will soon heal'. The lady said 'i didn't have black eyes'

Annaram1

I cant remember if I have said anything embarrassing, but many years ago when I worked in a hospital a young doctor came up to me and patted my stomach. He then asked "When is it due?" I said I was not pregnant. You should have seen his face!

I did that with a work colleague. She wasn't pregnant either. She did lose some weight though...

At Church one Sunday morning, a lady I knew vaguely for 20+ years, asked me how long I had been attending, I said 20+ years, she looked at me then said in a very snotty voice, oh yes you make the the tea and do all the kitchen stuff.
I just looked at her, speechless, I had just taken the Service!!!

I was once at a party when my husband had had to go to another meeting. I met another friend alone and said "Oh, has your husband left you too!" He had!