The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

My prison outfit looks good made out of potato sacks. With my wild hair I will look like one of Les Miserables locked in the Bastille.
You can come in now Doodle. I have taken all the poteen up to the bar. Thor is having a soothing pint after his set to with
Terence.

Am just bustling off to the Kitchen to cook some grey mince and boiled cabbage for tonight.Thor will have to eat it through a straw, he has a few missing teeth now.

I have let Terence back in and Lemon is not happy. She is heading towards me with a scowl, a nasty looking implement, so I am off to lock myself in the cellar.

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? puddle!

Hey! AGA Get back here! If you want to be in a cell it will cost you a tenner.
It’s alright anyway, Terence and Thor are best friends again now that honour has been satisfied and are drinking my new cocktail ‘Cell Block Blues’ ( through straws.) It’s a heady mix of brandy, poteen and Aqua blue disinfectant.

Karaoke time! Here I come leaping up on the bar top to do my thing ( to cheers and whistles and a few groans)......
Jailhouse rock! Everybody grab a wooden chair ( but don’t throw them at me

Evvvvveryboddddy let’s rock!

I need one of those. It's freezing down here and Doodle has made a puddle.

Excuse me lemon I have come as Elvis Presley and now I’ve thawed out I will do that song. Now give me the microphone, give it to me now ????.

Back on the chain gang ohoho

Bif bash bosh. Take that ?? Ouch givvve me that microphone ?

Oh go on then! Here...I have done my song now anyway and you can’t improve on perfection!
After your turn, go and clean up your puddle ( I told you to wear a Tena!)

At last ? ? I fought the late and the law won, I fought the law .............why have you all got your fingers in your ears ?

Cor! Whatta noise! Sounds like a cat on a hot tin roof....somebody tell Tennessee Williams that would be a great name for a play.
Rightho....me again...’ I shot the Sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the depppputtty..

He...lp! I need a fireman with a file, preferably with a big one.
Showing the Admiral how my handcuffs worked and we are locked in tandem. Not a pleasant sensation, I can assure you.

Are you still in his hammock ixion ?
I spent the night in comfort on Rich Reggie’s yacht ( smug mode) he wants to take me on a cruise around the Med, but I had to tell him I have too many responsibilities and Winter isn’t the best time anyway.I prefer to be in the snug at The Argy.

Am toasting my toes by the log fire with a large poteen to hand and last night’s leftover mince and cabbage,What more could a girl want?

Oh, Doodle somebody left the door open overnight and all the llamas have escaped. If they aren’t back in a week or two I shall organise a search party.Meanwhile it’s nice not to have their whiffy selves in the bar.

lemon I’ve found out they got called up for duty as standby reindeer for Santa. (It must have been those antlers I put on their heads a few weeks ago). Anyway they will be back at Christmas so you can enjoy the bar in the mean time.
I will join you by the fire with a poteen if I may. I’ve had a busy day doing my Christmas shopping. I’ve bought AGA a big bathtub in the pre Christmas sales (well the local dump actually). With a bit of a clean it will do nicely for brewing poteen. ?

Ah Doodle me old mucker, ye think of everything!?

I’ve bought you all a little something.....but don’t want to spoil the surprise until Christmas.

Yup. I’ve bought you some fairy lights to decorate your topiary. In case the Admiral can’t find his way. ?

Now you’ve spoiled the surprise Doodle because I got you the very same thing! Shall we just keep the ones we bought?
I bought flashing ones.?

Are you still in his hammock ixion ?

Certainly not, lemon. Dreadful chap. So uncouth, and he was a bit, er, whiffy.
What does he actually do? I spend every Friday running around trying to avoid him.

I bought you heavy duty super bright ones lemon as your topiary is so thick. ?

ixion the Admiral is an old sea dog. That’s why he smells. ?