The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

You may act in any way you like here ixion as long as you keep your hands outta the till.?

Hmmm, cops and robbers you say Doodle....I don’t think we’ve done that yet, so good idea! Have a free pint of absinthe on the house.
Sounds tasty Laura and as you know, punters here will eat anything.?

King Edward's offer sounds good Doodle and the offer of potatoes as well. Very old potatoes make good poteen.
I have trained the lazy llamas to squash the potatoes with their hooves. It's about time they did something for their keep.
The rest of us are made to work hard...ish.

I will come as a robber as I already have a swag bag. Probably best if I don't explain why.

I know why AGA ( you thought I didn’t!) You snaffle any leftovers in the kitchen ( in your swag bag) plus any bottles you can get your hands on.I tolerate it because you are such a good brewer.

I will come as a robber too, I have a striped jersey somewhere and a black mask ( and a sawn off shotgun...shhhhhhsh.)

I never get away with anything with you lemon. I know you keep the shotgun in the room where you keep the cash.
I have heard there is a cat burglar on the loose who wears a striped jersey and black mask.

I am mortally wounded Lemon at the suggestion that there are leftovers in the kitchen, the rats queue at the back door for my delicious culinary creations, even though sometimes it is a little cannibalistic for them

Ratatouille?

Cops and robbers, eh? Well, I’m sure I have some handcuffs somewhere, unless they’re still on the end of my neighbour’s bed....... I think I’ve lost my truncheon too (as the bishop said to the actress), but I’m sure I can improvise with a rolling pin from Laura’s kitchen

?‍? step away from the rolling pin

Laura makes a fantastic smoked rodent pie with dock leaves. It's to die for.

The Admiral and I are coming as Bonnie and Clyde. I’ve managed to persuade him to wear a blonde wig (he already had the skirt with the thigh high split.) I will be debonair like Warren Beatty.

Well, you certainly have Beatty’s designer stubble Doodle
So good choice!
Tell me more about this cat burglar that’s been spotted recently....?

The Admiral has been polishing his wooden leg as it will show under the split skirt. He smells good now of beeswax with lavender. A big improvement.
Lemon I have heard that the cat burglar got away with a good haul of diamond tiaras, emerald rings and gold watches as well as a few cats. They are pedigrees and will fetch a good price.
I thought I heard miaowing coming from your office but it may have just been the wind. The Admiral has eaten sprouts again.

Didn’t see the cat burglar, missed him/her by a whisker

You see the cat burglar here every day Laura ( you just don’t know it.)?

I expect with your name you will be a cop on Friday?
I may put you on bouncer duty to keep out the riff-raff ( with our clientele that’s a bit rich I know, but there is a lower layer of riff-raff under ours, and they need keeping out!?

Hmm sort of riff-raff riff-raff eh lemon. Yes no undesirables.
I bags first go on the karaoke on Friday with my rendition on I flight the law and the law one. The Admiral will accompany me on sawn off shot gun (not a real one?)

Sticking to my story on the cat burglar Lemon I ain’t no grass in spite of my name.
Will happily bounce on Friday in full uniform if Lisa gives it back after releasing her jugs.
Kitchen duties will be finished before the punters arrive as I’m preparing a cold buffet of grated mouse rice, inverted swag bag lettuce dust and ground fingerprint in a filo fax pastry case.
I hope someone will relive me so that I can do my karaoke number ‘please release me’ by Englebert Humpedanyfink.

Will be there!
Bringing along Butch Cassidy and our bicycle. I believe you already have a local bicycle propping up the Argy's walls. Butch and I will stay with ours to avoid confusion - our karaoke number will be - what else?- Raindrops keep falling on my head

Menu sounds tasty Laura. I just hope my poteen is as good. I have added plenty of sea salt and crushed paracetamol.
My burglar outfit is quite smart (not as smart as lemon's as hers is very realistic)
I have told the riffraff at the docks that the Argy is closed for essential maintenance on Friday so we should have no trouble with them. The usual riffraf know we are open.

I have built a jail in the cellar. I thought we could charge punters to stay overnight in lockup experience and feed them cold porridge. Lisa could walk up and down outside all night swinging her jugs keys and tormenting them

Ooh, Doodle, that sounds the ideal job for me! I could do my yoga exercises for the ‘inmates’ - my Downward Dog has quite a fan club.......

Dogs? We have enough trouble with the llamas.