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The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Sun 01-Nov-20 16:52:25

Well, fellow Argy Bargers, after some hard bargaining with
Moneybags Mike our landlord, I have managed to secure another short term lease.The scoundrel wanted ten pounds a month, but I showed him my maroon bloomers and he reduced it to seven pounds.Result!?

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 18:20:33

Well I got them neatly pinned up and then used half a can of what I thought was hairspray. Turned out it was air freshener by mistake. I thought I smelt nice - and George did nuzzle my neck .... I don’t think he could resist when I sashayed past him. He’s such a charmer! But now the blasted plaits keep unraveling. Bit like me since that encounter with Gorgeous George.
?

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 18:24:31

Ooh you look sexy Lisagran! My drindl looks a bit frumpy by comparison. Oh well, at least my clogs are smaller than GG13’s. Class will out I suppose. She does have good legs I’ll give her that but those huge boat feet spoil the effect. Reminds me of Britt Ekland. Or Antonia Fraser.
?

GrannyGravy13 Fri 22-Jan-21 18:30:48

To be fair Urms it’s not my feet I am worried about keeping under control, last time I practiced our clog routine I gave myself two black eyes ??‍♀️

Lisagran Fri 22-Jan-21 18:45:20

Thank you, Urmstongran - I’m hoping for a bit of trade tonight wink. wink

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 18:49:42

?? Keep up the glamorous distractions ladies, yodel if you have to, while Doodle and I add a few Rolexes to the takings.
Don’t let George dip that in the fondue again or Amal will guess where he’s been.
Who’s that singing Edelweiss already?

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 18:50:19

I saw you from across the room GG13 I assumed you’d just put on too much purple eyeshadow!

The clog dance went down well didn’t it? There was quite a lot of heckling though from the bar area. Did you hear it? Doodle just kept saying ‘ignore them, ignore them’. I don’t like being laughed at - especially when we’d practiced our routine so enthusiastically.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 22-Jan-21 18:53:55

Shove up I need a bar stall and a very large Vlad Cocktail not fussy which one, at my age I am happy to take whatever is on offer ????

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 18:57:06

I thought you might have meant ‘stool’ GG13 but then I remembered your big clogs. Slip them off for a bit and wiggle your toes.

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 19:20:25

They weren’t heckling Urms they were shouting show us more in German I think. They caught a flash of GrannyGravys’s under carriage and got overcome with excitement.
urms when Lisagran asked how you kept them up, I don’t think she was talking about your plaits. ?
What on Earth is that awful smell.. it’s not the cheese fondue is it......oh Grannygravy would you mind putting your clogs back on. ?

GrannyGravy13 Fri 22-Jan-21 19:34:41

Sorry should have kept the charcoal insoles but Vlad wanted some depth for his cocktails

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 19:36:24

I thought there was a nice earthiness to Vlad’s cocktails

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 19:39:27

I was here with William and Jack from the docks when someone shot an apple off Jacks head with an arrow.. Jack won’t say anything but will William Tell.

AGAA4 Fri 22-Jan-21 19:40:36

It's not the clogs it is all the sprouts she has eaten.

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 19:41:58

So what’s up next on this Swiss Nite? I’ve just undone the top buttons on my blouse. Is it hot in here or just me after the clog dance?

I know there’s karaoke later. I can’t hold a note so I’m looking forward to belting something out soon.
? ?

AGAA4 Fri 22-Jan-21 19:42:20

All the llamas are wearing clogs?

AGAA4 Fri 22-Jan-21 19:46:10

I am next up with The hills are alive with the sound.......of llama clog dance!

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 19:49:44

The llamas are eyeing the visitors somewhat lasciviously. I think it's their plumes.
The visiting Guards, for their part, look terrified and are frantically clutching their poles. Bless. They're only boys.....
Talking of which, where is George? Has he perked up a bit yet for some action?

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 19:52:17

I need my small ones back later AGGA as Doodle just whispered we’re back on later. An encore has been requested! Just knew I’d find stardom one day...

Grannygravy’s are the big ones. She’s slumped at the bar again I see. All this exertion does seem to take it out of her, bless. Unless it was George?

AGAA4 Fri 22-Jan-21 19:52:37

He has probably done a runner.

AGAA4 Fri 22-Jan-21 19:56:59

The llamas will dance with you while Grannygravy sobers up has a rest

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 20:04:04

No he hasn’t. I saw him chatting to Maw earlier. He had her pinned up against the wall. At least I think they were chatting...

MawBe Fri 22-Jan-21 20:09:57

No it wasn’t Georg - it was one of the terrible triplets, Hans, Neez und Boompsadaisy!

Swiss joke
“Why do you eat Swiss cheese on a Sunday?
Because it’s *holey”
Boom, boom!

It’s the way she tells them
(I’ll get me lederhosen)

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 20:11:01

urms please do your top button up. It’s hot enough in here as it is without the Admiral panting like that.
I think I need a toblerone to give me energy for the next dance. I had one earlier.......now where did I put it ?

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 20:17:48

Is that chocolate in your cleavage Doodle?

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 20:22:42

Might be blush I knew I’d put it somewhere safe.

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