Get your own back with scammers

I had a call one day last week from these scammers. I confirmed that I had indeed had an accident and so was duly put through to "a colleague who will help you with your claim".

Scammer: When did the accident take place?
Me: erm.... let me think..... I think it was about a year ago? Can't be sure, my memory has been a little hazy since I died.
Scammer: Did you suffer any injuries in the accident?
Me: Oh yes, I must have done! I died.
Scammer: Was anyone else involved in the accident?
Me: Hard to tell really, I don't have much memory since I died.
Scammer: What injuries did you suffer as a result of the accident?
Me: Quite a few I would imagine; certainly enough to make me die.
Scammer: Were you definitely involved in an accident that wasn't your fault?
Me: I must have been! I told you! I died!
Scammer: F**k off!

Nonnie reminds me of the day when trying to get rid of a caller I told them I was on the PMT list!!

I get them to repeat themselves (it's a bad line - and my hearing aid is playing up).

Yesterday it was a woman from Sky (apparently, Indian accent) about a customer refund of £230.

'Who's calling? Can you repeat that? Say again? etc.

Very nice, but why were they refunding me? She didn't answer that but got me to confirm my name, address and phone number (which they had) - all OK.

Then, she wanted my date of birth. I laughed and said she didn't need that.

(more 'I can't quite hear you - can you speak up?')

Next, she said 'Your bank? Santander? Lloyds? Halifax?' I laughed again and said 'If you're from Sky, you have my details - so just refund to the account it's paid from!'

She hung up. (Such fun.)

We generally have a bit of a competition to see how long they will hang on until they realise you are playing them. A favourite was a "your computer has been used to buy...." I started call, passed it to my son, claiming I didn't understand, he continued in a Russian accent demanding to know what had happened and then shouting at the top of his voice that his wife had spent all hs money on shoes and he was going to teach her. A few bangs and screams and then we hung up!

My brother had a call, from a very polite Indian gentleman, at his work about the internet being used by someone else and security had been breached. DB let him finish his spiel and then said that the information was wrong because he was in charge of IT security. The man rang off and then immediately phoned back and told DB, "You are not IT security you are just the janitor!" Obviously that was deemed to be a horrendous insult.
It still makes me laugh now.

We have a BT phone which screens all calls . I quite miss the odd confrontation with these scammers. Good idea to say you will consult your husband when he gets out of prison or pretent to be the hired help .

Funny you should say that Honeyrose I have a stuff parrot (think key ring size) that when you press its stomach comes out with rather naughty language included "Polly wants a F***ing cracker NOW" ! Think I might keep it by the phone especially for the scammers!

We have had a spate of calls purporting to be from HM Revenue and Customs. Always the same story - you have underpaid/mispaid/commited fraud and a demand to pay now or go to jail. They hang up when I inform them that my husband and daughter both worked for HMRC and what department are they calling from again? Never fails (and it is actually the truth).

Brilliant, Hazbeen! ??

There’s a track on YouTube where a householder picks up the phone and tells the scammer that he is a homicide detective and want to know why they are phoning the home of the deceased, when did he last see him? Had he in fact killed him? he bombards the scammer with questions, telling him that they have traced his call and the cops are on their way! The scammer ends up a gibbering wreck, it’s very funny.

Last one I had re accident I asked how they knew and was put through to man with an Indian accent. I told him I was driving at a reasonable speed when I saw a zebra crossing, I slammed on my brakes and skidded sideways in to a tree, he asked me if anyone else was involved and I said only the elephant that had charged when he too saw the zebra crossing. He hung up then.

I haven’t had the Microsoft windows one for a long time but used to feign confusion and say that I had had double glazing installed and all my windows worked perfectly

I love the homicide detective one MrsThreadgoode I’ll have fun with that next time.

My Mum gets calls about her computer, car accident and Amazon. She is 85, never driven and does not do technology in any form. We have told her to put the phone down but sometimes she shouts at them. I have on occasion played along. Can be quite funny.