Funerals

Cross posts there Mohum you now have a genuine reason for not attending.

Just make a polite excuse, like you have a dental appointment and give them the opportunity to invite somebody else.

Thanks for your comments. I have sent a card and had planned to stand at the gate. I have now offered to pick up my 93 yr old friend from hospital today so am on standby for her call. I just hope she hasn't contracted covid while in there. This is a risk I am willing to take as she has no family available and had to come home in a taxi in the middle of the night last time.

You don't say why you don't want to go. If you are genuinely convinced there is a serious risk of you catching Covid-19, then say so and give that as your reason. But I can't see any other reason not to go. If the family have offered you one of the very few places they are allowed, they must really want you there. Sometimes it is important to put others first, just because it is the kind thing to do.

I would only attend a funeral of a member of my family. My friend was unable to attend a funeral a week ago because she lives in Wales and was not able to travel to England. She watched over a link provided. She is now glad that she did not go as two of the people attending have since proved positive with Covid 19 and now all those attending have to self isolate. Chances are this will not happen at your neighbours funeral but if in doubt do not go.

I'm glad you aren't my neighbour.

The deceased's family obviously thought you were closer. There maybe many others who would like to go in her memory so you should politely inform the family you will not be going.

I would hate to think someone who had been invited to my funeral by my family asked this question on a forum. If it was my funeral on that basis I would not want you to go.

I'd turn in my grave!

With so few people allowed at funerals, the family must really want you there. I think you should go to show your support.

You could tell them you have received a contact & trace text to say you may have been in contact with someone ( you'd obviously have to stay in if they can see your comings & goings )
Or your feeling a bit under the weather and want to stay away from people ( just in case )

It's up to you, of course. With the limits, is there a reason they have asked you? Maybe your neighbour spoke highly of you to them and they think of you as important to her. You go to funerals to show the living their loved one was cared about rather than for the person who has passed. Unless there was a reason I couldn't, I would be inclined to go. If you have Covid fears I'd tell the family that and that you are isolating and don't feel comfortable attending. Maybe send a card? It could be there is someone else they could invite. It's up to you.

Difficult decision but go with your gut feeling. I’m now of an age I don’t do things I don’t want to do. If the funeral car is leaving from the house I would stand outside to show your respect. My neighbour wasn’t able to go to her dads funeral who also lived in the same street. this was at the very start of Covid - he was cremated straight from the hospital.

We went to a neighbours funeral last week. there were only 8 there, we wore masks and social distancing was easy. The family were super grateful. If you just don't want to go because you don't feel close to the neighbour or family then make your excuses and don't go, but I'm sure the family would be appreciative if you went.