Lockdown Children.

GrannySomerset
Yes, washing and trying to dry terry nappies was a great spur to toilet train toddlers!

And I also wonder if modern, comfortable disposable nappies and training pants mean that parents leave toilet training too late. In the far off days of terry towelling nappies, plastic pants and indoor drying in winter it’s no wonder children were toilet trained much earlier, and nurseries and play groups wouldn’t accept three year olds who weren’t reasonably secure.

I wondered that too and a lot of food today does seem to be finger food.

I do wonder if the not using cutlery could be traced back to baby led weaning . Just putting a variety of foods on the high chair tray and letting them get on with using their hands?

A lot of convenience/modern foods do not need cutlery.....burgers, ribs, tacos, wraps and kebabs etc. How many families actually sit down and eat together nowadays?

Yes family centres would have remained open for 'vulnerable' children, as schools were
Thank you for answering that, Iam64 as I wasn't sure.

A lot of young parents may be depressed at the moment in lockdown, may be stuck in a high rise flat, perhaps lost their job and that will mean they are less able to cope with even the normal demands of young children.

However, there was a huge increase in children prior to this who were starting school without having been toilet trained, how to eat properly or how to dress themselves. Sure Start did help parents such as these - but why did they not know these skills anyway? Were they poorly parented themselves?

MissAdventure

I'm afraid I do think it's bad parenting.
There are a myriad of reasons why, as there always is with these kind of issues, but I fail to see that working from home is the main reason.

Poor parenting doesn’t exist in a vacuum does it? The nation’s children are at the bottom line, the nation’s responsibility and we should all care more about the infrastructures that support those who aren’t so perfect as clearly the vast majority of GNers on this thread are.

I'm afraid I do think it's bad parenting.
There are a myriad of reasons why, as there always is with these kind of issues, but I fail to see that working from home is the main reason.

They don't forget to do a wee, they do it involuntarily because they are disturbed and upset. It isn't the fault of the parents.

That's so upsetting to think of.

It probably also happens that some parents get annoyed about this, which will make things worse.

Children arrived in my DiL's reception class in September, many wearing nappies and most eating with their fingers etc. She thought it was because Covid had meant that she couldn't liase with the parents as she would normally.

This is clearly a sudden change, as noticed by this experienced teacher, not simply a trend in society.

I'm amazed by all the people on here thinking it's just bad parenting.

eazybee

Austerity has nothing to do with children regressing on potty training, eating habits and speech and language, but everything to do with lack of parental attention.

Most of these parents would be at home full time, and I cannot see nurses and key workers allowing their children to behave like this.
Look to the parents and stop blaming everyone else.

I’m not blaming everyone else RTFT . I’m capable of seeing this as a multifaceted, nuanced issues with deep seated roots. But I do realise that it’s so much easier to simplify it.

I left teaching in 2006. We had a proper dining room in our primary school. Many of the dinner ladies had no idea how to lay the tables. The children too in many cases were unused to cutlery. They would spear a whole roast potato on a knife and eat it like a lolly. They did improve after a while , but regressed after a long holiday. My own GDs ,who are now in their teens, often picked up their food with their fingers. Strange really as there father had excellent table manners when he was a child.

I kept an eye on my girls cutlery skills when we ate together. (Every day)
I wasn't about to let them slip, having made her life a misery taught her in the first place. The same for using the toilet.

Austerity has nothing to do with children regressing on potty training, eating habits and speech and language, but everything to do with lack of parental attention.

Most of these parents would be at home full time, and I cannot see nurses and key workers allowing their children to behave like this.
Look to the parents and stop blaming everyone else.

But surely if potty training is securely established, no parent is going to be daft enough to keep putting nappies on them and all that entails rather than letting them continue to use the loo.

I can understand cutlery skills being lost, but back into nappies?

MOnica, the news reports say these children were toilet trained and using cutlery but lost those skills when out of school during lock down. Some of the children are said to have lost social skills and now sit or play alone.
Its worrying.

What occurs to me is that surely many of these children went to nursery. Do nurseries not encourage potty training and using cutlery? Many children get places in nursery because there is a social need recognised.

The points bring made about the inadequate base we entered the pandemic from as it affects children, is also true of other fault lines - our low number of ICU beds, NHS staff shortages, poorly funded/ profit driven residential care and Public Health Departments, shortage of laboratory testing facilities, low levels of SSP and UC for starters. We were in a sorry state across the piste at the beginning of the pandemic and trying to pretend it’s nothing to do with austerity is sheer nonsence.

Society has gone backwards in many ways. Many parents today rely on outside agencies such as nurseries, to teach their children basic skills.
We live in a society now where one wage is not enough to sustain a family, so most mothers work. (Many want to, of course). They don't have the time, and sometimes not the inclination, to concentrate on children's upbringing. It's no surprise then, that children arrive at school unequipped to eat with cutlery, or still in nappies.
Not everything used to be better, but many things were.

Thanks to Riverwalk for linking the new report on the 20% increase during this pandemic, in infants being abused or murdered in the home. Thanks suziewoozie for pointing out the devastating impact of 10 years of austerity on support services for vulnerable children.
I think is Callistemon who asked whether Sure Start (if it hasn't been closed as most have) would have been open during the pandemic. Yes family centres would have remained open for 'vulnerable' children, as schools were. Sadly, the majority of those children identified as vulnerable/having a safeguarding plan etc live in families where drug/alcohol abuse/domestic abuse are prevalent. The needs of children can't be met consistently by parents who are dependent on substances.

The other thing that's often forgotten is that when most of us were children, many people with learning difficulties lived in institutions, or were sterilised. Now, quite rightly, they live in the community. Those families need a lot of support.

I have no evidence for this but, I imagine the children regressing are largely drawn from the 'vulnerable' group. Rather than being the children of competent working parents. I appreciate the pressure of working from home with two or three children away from school.

Unfortunately this has been going on since long before Covid could be blamed.

My daughter’s friend is a primary school teacher she has been talking for years about how shocked she was at the number of children starting school at 5 (5 !) still in nappies with no idea what a knife and fork are for.

Mine went to a local Play School at 3 and not only did they have to be toilet trained, they had to be able to take put their coat and shoes on.

We have certainly gone backwards haven’t we?

Austerity contributed to the problems and it’s a nonsense to imply that all would be well with the nation’s children if only they’d been able to go to school ( or the pandemic hadn’t happened).

I'm not sure why being at home with your children would have such a terrible affect on your children.

Ofsted have reported on this and they are not given to wild statements.
When I started teaching Infants nearly fifty years ago one never saw a child in nappies in school, certainly no dummies and children were used to handling cutlery and eating off plates. Playgroups had only just started, and there were very few nurseries. I worked in very deprived areas in London and the Midlands.

There has been a move in recent years by a small but rising number of families to leave potty training to the nursery or school, and it is obvious many children eat with their fingers and off their knees and have no idea what cutlery is for.
These children had been taught by the nurseries and schools and regressed because parents did not bother to reinforce their training.So much easier to blame austerity and lack of local services than expect parents to take responsibility for their children.

GrannyGravy, I agree. It's been a really difficult time for everyone, including parents trying to work from home and care for children at the same time. I remember when I was teaching that we complained that children were sent to school unable to tie their shoelaces! Those were the days!

However, there does seem to be a tendency among some parents to be very indulgent towards their children to the extent that they even refuse to carry out simple instructions at school, saying that they don't have to do that. I fear for society when they grow up!

sodapop children cannot purchase their own nappies I agree. Daytime regression could be attention seeking on behalf of the child. Night time bed wetting is sometimes a sign of stress in the child.

Not sure how widespread this problem is or just more scaremongering. I really can't see that its the child regressing to nappies, the parents must be allowing this to happen and buying the nappies. Not sure about this one at all.