Am I being over sensitive

I don't suppose anything unkind was meant. I've said the wrong thing many times, still can't believe I called my new son-in-law's mother a nosy cow when she asked to look upstairs on her first visit to our house, luckily she laughed!

I too would have been taken aback by his remark, and definitely would not have been able to think up a smart reply (so wish I could think on my feet!). Rightly or wrongly, I know I would avoid them in the future, and definitely wouldn't be ringing them. Also, if my husband had made that remark in front of me, I would certainly have said something to him there and then, as I would have been so embarrassed that he had spoken to one of our friends in that way.

It’s the sort of ill judged remark I could make! I would have meant absolutely nothing by it it would have just come out ?.
If you like the wife ring her and go for a walk.

I would ignore them from now on and if they spoke I would be rather cool. Well done for turning down the invitation, you are not desperate for their company.

Hi Tigran. I would be upset and somewhat stunned by his comment. So much so, that I wouldn’t have been able to think of an immediate response. I do think that perhaps the wife rang you to suggest a walk so that she could apologise on her husband’s behalf. Maybe she didn’t want to apologise over the phone as he would hear her and she didn’t wish to make an issue out if it. Perhaps he’s a bit jealous and possessive - just a thought. You are owed an apology, but may not get one. Maybe it’s just his sense of humour, although you have known him for 20 years or so, and haven’t particularly noticed a lack of filter before. Is his personality changing? Lockdown can affect people in different ways. I think I’d leave things be - but at the same time I’d be tempted to ask why he came out with that uncalled for comment.

I would have been hurt by this. Something similar happened to me recently when I was walking with a friend and I was so shocked at her comment - totally uncalled for - that afterwards I wished I had said "What a strange thing to say!" But, of course, words fail you at the time.
The friend lives on her own and has no family near by so I don't want to avoid her company so I have decided that she thought she was being amusing - it was in front of another person - so I will 'move on' but if it happens again I will be ready with my come back. People never cease to amaze me!

welbeck your reply is spot on exactly how I felt
I think sensitive was the wrong word just hurt you think you know someone but that’s life
Time to move on

i'm not sure about the wife either.
maybe he let slip what they both feel and say behind closed doors.
it is not an over-reaction to feel upset. any normally sensitive person would.
at least you know where you stand now. you can avoid them. your goodwill and loyalty and amity which you thought was mutual, shared, equal, is not after all.
you did well to decline the walk. keep on in that vein.
it's like taking bearings at sea, you re-adjust. better to change tack, than continue in the wrong direction.
all the best to you.

Ps his wife will be embarrassed.

ttgran
I think I know him.

I expect he has a very sore ear now.

Probably jealous.

Thank you all for your replies they have been helpful

NoHetty58 he was not joking he meant what he said

I wonder if he misspoke as Hilary would say? Maybe he doesn’t realise what it means

Crikey ttgran, yes, you're being oversensitive - he was probably just joking. Don't you think you're majorly overreacting to a simple remark?

LauraNorder, why on Earth should a wife apologise for her husband? That's so weird! How's she to know that ttgran is upset?

I think Chewbacca has nailed it. Give the wife a call tomorrow and ask if she’s still up for a walk. Give her the chance to explain or apologise. She is probably mortified.

Don't lose the wife's friendship over it. Like Chewbacca has said, she probably gave him hell. I know I would have done.

Some men just never engage brain before opening mouth.

ttgran it's a real "know your place" moment isn't it?
Years ago I had a friend with small children, as did I.
One day I was at her house, the children were playing and she'd made me a cup of tea.
Her husband arrived home.
I drank my tea, said my good-byes and left.
Next time I saw her, the little girl said, "My daddy came home and you didn't go."
Well I never made that mistake again! ?

Friends with both

Friends with both l

The wife did ring the next day and suggest we went for a social distance walk something they have never suggested during lockdown

I reckon that the wife did that because, after they'd gone indoors, she gave her husband a rocket for being so rude to you. Perhaps she wanted to go on a walk with you so that she could apologise?

Are you friends with them as a couple or is it the wife who is your friend and he's a hanger on?

Lots of men are jealous of their wives friendships which prompts them to make Smart Alec comments.

If you like the wife, don't drop her because of him as that's probably what he wants.

He sounds a real charmer,

It was not said in a joking manner I was taken aback by the comment that came out of the blue that I failed to respond how I should have also the fact he said “us”made me think they have a problem with me
The wife did ring the next day and suggest we went for a social distance walk something they have never suggested during lockdown I said no thanks probably petty but still failing to understand why
Appreciate in the great scheme of life not important but feel let down by someone who I thought was a friend

Next time you see him, ask him "how's your rash?" ?

Does he have form for walking about with his foot firmly stuck in his mouth? It is an unpleasant comment, even if he meant it as a joke. A joke is only funny if both parties laugh. I would ignore it but distance myself from them slightly.