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Keeping things for best, I’ve turned into my mother! ?

(160 Posts)
Marydoll Mon 16-Nov-20 19:04:29

When were clearing out my mum’s house after she died, we found lots of unworn clothes, still in bags, which had been given as gifts. Yet she would insist on wearing the shabbiest of clothes.

Today, I was looking for a missing Christmas present and realised that I had turned into my mum, by virtue of keeping things for best.

My stash included:
*One Jo Malone Red Roses bath oil,
*Four L’Occitane rose scented hand creams,
*Six bars of Italian rose scented soap, stashed by me in DH's hand luggage as I was over the weight limit, which resulted in him being taken away at Fumicino Airport, by customs officers wearing guns, who thought he was smuggling drugs blush
This is not the first time he has been searched because of me, a Nativity scene comes to mind, which started playing "Silent Night" one September day in the security area!
*Four aprons with an Italian theme, picked up in Rome. I am a messy baker and need to wipe my hands on something, rather than my clothes.
My neighbours don't call me call me the Apron Queen for nothing. wink

This is only a small selection, but I have decided that due to my failing health, I'm going to start using them, as my children will probably find them unused when I die and they hate anything rose scented.

I have come to the conclusion that life is too short to keep things for best, so tonight I will soak in a rose scented bath and tomorrow my very tatty aprons are going in the bin!

Do any of you Gransnetters have a stash, which you are keeping for best?

I did find the missing gift, in the very place that I previously looked at least three times. I fear I have lost the plot. wink

bridie54 Tue 17-Nov-20 12:40:35

I don’t keep things for best. I was buying silver teaspoons as a silver wedding gift for my sister (they were what she wanted). The assistant polished them as she put them in their velvet lined box but told me to tell my sister that she must use them every day and enjoy them. She had recently cleared her mother’s house after her death and found years worth of unused presents.
I do have ‘best’ China but it’s not expensive, just kept so that we have a whole set when visitors come. I also use lovely smellies especially perfume , tho I like to have special scented soaps in my undies drawer.

NotSpaghetti Tue 17-Nov-20 12:47:36

Felice that is so sad.
?

Calender37 Tue 17-Nov-20 12:53:50

My parents married in 1934 and after my Mother died in 1981 we found several boxes of coffee spoons, tea knives and desert knives and forks. The wedding gift cards were in the boxes and clearly none of the items had ever been used. I inherited them and guess what - they are still carefully housed in my wall unit and I have never used any of them either!! So am I just a sentimentalist or a carbon copy of my Mother?

felice Tue 17-Nov-20 13:22:50

It was Notspaghetti, but since writing it I realised that DGS and I have made a point of getting 'dressed' when we go for our walks. Making a thing of dressing nicely during the very long summer.
We noticed that it was older people who were 'dressing' and there is one elderly gentleman who is often out on his bike and he doffs his hat when he passes.
DGS school gate is a real mixed bag, the Italian embassy parents look like they came off the catwalk in Milan, and thats just the drivers.!!!!!!!
It is a local school so a real mixed bag.

Newatthis Tue 17-Nov-20 13:25:08

We too recently cleared out my MiL's house only to find numerous new items and gifts - never worn, never used. I am at present moving house and I too was a culprit of this. Some things I will never wear or use so I have made hefty donations to various charities who were all delighted with my offerings. Hopefully they will earn some money for their good causes. Why do we do this? I can understand that some things are unwanted gifts but why do we keep things we don't love. After spending weeks sorting out my hoards I am never going to keep what I don't love.

Rosarie Tue 17-Nov-20 13:29:07

A couple of weeks ago I was looking at my pyjamas and thinking they were tatty and well worn and I needed to replace ASAP ! I hated the thought of buying at full price as I usually bought them in the sales ! While looking for something else discovered 3 pairs ( for hospital just in case ) 3 pair ( for visiting son and family ) 3 pair ( I had got on holiday ) and that’s not counting the silky lacy ones I thought I could wear on holiday but decided if there was a fire in the hotel there was no way I could be seen in them !!!!

Ksing Tue 17-Nov-20 13:31:01

I have exactly the same husband!I despair when I see him with his good t shirts on, he buys blue or blue (perhaps 6 at a time), Friends husbands are smart when we go out (not at the moment of course), mine is wearing the same clothes he had on to sweep the garage! ? he will never change!

Ksing Tue 17-Nov-20 13:33:58

Oops! My last message was for Candelle! Not very good with replying to messages! Sorry!

2420mags Tue 17-Nov-20 13:46:28

If l said anything to my mother about her not wearing something new she had bought she would say she had put it away so that she always had something new to wear.
When she died l found a beautiful wool coat in the "new look" style that must have been early fifties.. An invoice for £100 was in the pocket dated 1949. There was a pill box hat, gloves and a small black initialed leather handbag . Some amazing black suede heeled shoes must have completed the ensemble. She had been a Wren officer during the war and pictures showed she had been very stylish. Yet in the later years after my father's death sshe did not take any interest in her appearance and took delight in cruel comments to my sister and l about our. To my horror l find myself living in the same fleece, stretchy trousers and walking shoes, wellies or crocs depending on the season . My husband says l must fight it and l am trying!

grannybuy Tue 17-Nov-20 13:50:56

I do tend to keep some clothes, china and bed linen for best, but not so much my jewellery. I remember a conversation, when I was in my fifties, with a colleague who was thirty years younger. She said that she had working and going out jewellery. It struck me that on any given day, I was wearing a watch, rings, pendant and ear rings that added up to a value of a few thousand pounds. I'm still doing the same.

PennyWhistle Tue 17-Nov-20 14:10:56

There is a beautiful poem written about keeping things for best, including having a candle that is never used. But I cant find it!

GrannyLondon Tue 17-Nov-20 14:26:23

My Mum never wore her nice clothes every day, I wasn’t allowed to either.
I think it was because good clothes were so expensive.

Jodieb Tue 17-Nov-20 14:33:29

When I use to get a clean item out of the airing cupboard, my mum would say, " Oh, don't wear that I've just washed it!"

GrannyLondon Tue 17-Nov-20 14:35:33

Also! I have just remembered “best” clothes are not very comfortable to wear.

Daddima Tue 17-Nov-20 14:40:57

This is really interesting with regard to the clothes we wear. I’d guess that, when asked, we would say we dressed ‘ wholly for ourselves’, yet so many of us think there’s no point in wearing nice things if nobody’s going to see them!
I remember someone saying women dressed to impress men, and she was asked if she had ever been to a ladies’ exercise class, and seen some of the fashions on show there!

Musicgirl Tue 17-Nov-20 15:09:05

I'm enjoying this thread. Yes, l have been always saved things "for best" and feel guilty if l use or wear special things on an ordinary day. How silly! This is inspiring me to change my ways.

Calendargirl Tue 17-Nov-20 15:14:47

2420mags

If l said anything to my mother about her not wearing something new she had bought she would say she had put it away so that she always had something new to wear.
When she died l found a beautiful wool coat in the "new look" style that must have been early fifties.. An invoice for £100 was in the pocket dated 1949. There was a pill box hat, gloves and a small black initialed leather handbag . Some amazing black suede heeled shoes must have completed the ensemble. She had been a Wren officer during the war and pictures showed she had been very stylish. Yet in the later years after my father's death sshe did not take any interest in her appearance and took delight in cruel comments to my sister and l about our. To my horror l find myself living in the same fleece, stretchy trousers and walking shoes, wellies or crocs depending on the season . My husband says l must fight it and l am trying!

That sounds a lovely outfit.

I don’t know what you did with it, or if you still have it, but I bet a vintage dress shop would snap it up.

petra Tue 17-Nov-20 15:20:36

2420Mags
What class your mother had. I would wear that outfit now.

Copes283 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:20:46

Gosh! So many of these posts ring true with me. I had a new pair of "best" shoes when I was quite young, possibly 8 or 9 years old. I remember them well as the second time I was allowed to put them on... guess what, they didn't fit! I was so upset especially when they were then put away for my little sister! She is 6 years younger than me! Talk about rubbing salt in the wound!

Aldom Tue 17-Nov-20 15:23:08

As a child in the mid 1940's to early '50's I remember people not only had best clothes, but best rooms too. When visiting close friends of my parents it used to be so exciting to go into the best room because displayed on the sofa were the best dolls belonging to their two young daughters. I was allowed to look at the dolls, but never to touch.

Bankhurst Tue 17-Nov-20 16:00:37

My DH has his parents’ wedding china (c1940) which has never been used. They kept it for best. It hasn’t been out of its box for 20 years, but it’s still being saved for best! I want to know when ‘best’ will happen

grannysyb Tue 17-Nov-20 16:23:54

Someone in my sewing class said that she had nowhere to wear the beautiful Chanel style jacket that she had made. Our teacher said "wear it to the supermarket, otherwise it will just hang in the wardrobe!" How true!

MissAdventure Tue 17-Nov-20 16:28:32

Is this the poem someone mentioned?

If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten popcorn in the "good" living room and worried less about the dirt when you lit the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored.

I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband which I took for granted.

I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day.

I would never have bought ANYTHING just because it was practical/wouldn't show soil/ guaranteed to last a lifetime.

When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now, go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more I love yous ... more I'm sorrys ... more I'm listenings ... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.

Erma Bombeck

Marydoll Tue 17-Nov-20 16:33:38

Thank you Miss A!
I'm going to copy it.

MissAdventure Tue 17-Nov-20 16:44:28

smile
You're very welcome.