Keeping things for best, I’ve turned into my mother! ?

DGD1 (then aged about 7) and her parents were staying with us when it was SiL’s birthday and she was very keen to have a proper birthday party with jelly and a cake with candles. I suggested a proper Yorkshire high tea with the best China and the silver teapot. DGD1 looked puzzled; “What,” she asked, is best China?”

When I downsized I decided not to buy any more shampoo, hand cream, face creams, soap or candles. That was two years ago, still have some stuff left to use up. Same applies to household cleaning stuff. All this buy two get one free is using up my limited income and storage space. Also still using up free supermarket plastic bags as bin liners. Been using my reusable cotton bags for couple years now. Keep wondering how on earth I managed to store so much unnecessary items. My granny died and left loads of new pure linen bedding. My Mum was into poly cotton at the time so it was binned. Lesson learned.

Ksing they must be related!

I have all but given up in despair (the latest 'best' being used are navy suede shoes. As they are slip-ons, they're obviously ideal for mowing the sudden muddy lawn, aren't they?...).

Grrrrr.

A really interesting thread, thank you. I needed to sift and sort ready to move house plus downsize. I struggled to let go of things I had spent a fair bit of money on but were no longer used, liked or useful. Think gadgets, clothes, phones, gifts, household items etc. I found reading the 1st book by Marie Kondo helped me. It’s a way to help you organise your stuff often known as the KonMari method. It encourages sorting and tidying by category – not by location – beginning with clothes, then moving on to books, papers, komono (miscellaneous items), and, finally, sentimental items. Keep only those things that speak to the heart, and discard items that no longer spark joy. She splits everything into categories but any item can go into the ‘sentimental’ category if feelings are attached. This helped me donate, throw and pass on lots of ‘stuff’. Why did I keep wearing things that made me look and feel dowdy and overweight or old? Ornaments I didn’t like? If they didn’t make me happy or give me joy they went. Such a feeling of freedom after doing it all. I’ve stopped feeling guilty buying what I really like and want now. Her 1st book is called The life changing magic of tidying. Reading all your posts I think some may find it enlightening.

What do you do with the book once you've read it?

My mother died nine years ago and I used to see her every second Saturday. She always complained that the women in the sheltered housing accommodation she lived in always wore the same clothes from a local market. So just about every second week we went clothes shopping for her but she still went to the market and bought her everyday clothes there. When she died and we were clearing the flat I was really sad to find that all the 'different' new things she had bought were still all in carrier bags with the tags on. I just remember thinking how sad to not use the lovely things she bought.

Good question MissAdventure ? ?
It’s on my Kindle so not a problem. A friend who also used this method donated her book to a charity shop so (when they are open again) it might be worth checking.
The method also goes into storing things vertically including clothes, towels etc. after folding. Try standing your baking trays vertically in a kitchen cupboard and you will save half a shelf for other things.

I've lots of really good quality stuff to pass on to charity, or give away, and can't find any takers.
I've 3 black sacks of new and almost new teen clothes, but freecycle ads have had no response.

I've gradually moved the sacks closer to the door but I just can't bring myself to throw them away.

Those sacks are really getting me down, though.

When my grandmother died we found 3 pairs of new slippers still in boxes, but when she died ,she was wearing a very grubby pair with holes in the soles and pieces of cardboard in them to make them last longer!

Well that’s settled it, reading all the above I have opened a box of toiletries my DD gave me a few years ago. I don’t want her to think I didn’t want her thoughtful gift.

Some years ago, a rather forgetful elderly friend who was downsizing sorted out a collection of bits and pieces which she decided she would no longer need and thought she would give them away to any of her friends who would like them. We were all invited round to her house to choose what we would like. Imagine my chagrin when I noticed in the collection a present I had given her one Christmas - some very nice Yardley's Old English Lavender hand cream, unopened. I took it home with me and used it!!

My DH inherited his parents bone China dinner service. It has been sitting a box in our garage(s) for 32 years. It is ghastly and we bought our own in drips and drabs over a couple years which we do use from time to time.

My expensive wedding china is used every day. Goes in dishwasher (much to a friend’s horror!). Plates have been broken along the way, but they are just things designed for a purpose. They need to be used, not gathering dust!

I have a bit of a shoe fetish [well that is shoes, sandals and lots of boots!] So many, quite a lot have never/hardly been worn. I have now, at 61,got lots of problems with my feet and all those lovely high heels are going to the charity shop.
Sadly I will never be able to wear heels again, So wear those heels ladies while you can!

A friend gave me a denby container.Mum kindly saw this and continued by buying some more,every birthday,Christmas and so on.We have used it occasionally.
Going to use it every day but out it off - until now.
Thanks for thread.

What a great thread! Thank you. I would like to say I am going to wear/use all my best things for every day now, but it’s going to be a hard habit to break !

This thread is just what I needed - I thought something was wrong with me for keeping lovely clothes in a now bulging wardrobe, many unworn & kept for best. ( maybe something IS wrong with me ). Now, having turned 80 & lost a lot of weight, most of them no longer fit. How stupid is that - & how sad.

I have started to wear my decent clothes, every day now, especially since lock down just to cheer things up a bit. But I still haven’t gone so far as best frocks, as they would be impractical and I’d look plain stupid?.

I also have black tie dresses all in their boxes. I live in hope that they will be worn again, but I can’t see it somehow.

What a lot of stuff we collect on the way of our lives!

Embarrassing when you look at those folk with nothing. I should be ashamed really.

I do have a set of towels and a dinner set ‘for best’, however that’s all. My own Mum died at 38 so as I’m getting older I realise that nobody knows when we are called so I do make sure that I use the best of everything that I’ve got. Apart for the dinner set and towels. ?

Deciding it was time to remind my children that we would 'not be around forever', I casually told DS1 that I was interested in döstädning (the Swedish idea of organising and decluttering your belongings before you die, as propounded by Margareta Magnusson).
His cheerful response - "I thought that came with meatballs in IKEA'.....

Never mind getting like your mother: I have turned into a friend, when younger I was amazed by the bags of unused clothes she had at the bottom of her wardrobe - I couldn't afford to buy excess clothes then. Now move on a few years and I am finding lots clothes in my over stuffed wardrobes with tags still on ( all bargains) while wearing old favourites! Another new friend has helped me get rid of stuff but two bags later cupboards are still stuffed - I think I she needs to come back! I hate waste but really need to get a grip at least while we are in lockdown we cannot buy so much "stuff"!

I expect we will be the last generation to do this won’t we?

My motivation for keeping things ‘for best’ is more to do with not wanting favourite clothes to wear out.

I’ve realised that all my favourites were bought years ago. There was a time when I would always find something I loved on a clothes shopping trip but for the past few years I have invariably come back empty handed.

I have bought things recently that I like, but the favourite, really loved items are, in some cases over 20 years old!

Having been inspired by this thread, I am wearing a favourite winter dress with thick tights today as opposed to my normal attire of skinny jeans and sweater.......thank you Marydoll

There is absolutely no point keeping all my sweater dresses for when I go out as there is no possibility of that in the near future.....

Never keep things for best.We have some lovely crystal glasses and use them every day.

I don't have too much of a problem wearing / using something new straight away, but I do have a problem parting with the old items which the new were meant to replace!