Keeping things for best, I’ve turned into my mother! ?

My father died recently and I scoured the bungalow for a cutlery set that my mother had been given by her employers when she left work to have me. (I turned 60 this year!) It lived in the sideboard for decades, never used. I was - still am - distraught to find the set missing, presumed sold by Dad. I just wish a) they'd used it; b) given it to me.

You'll laugh. I've been doing the opposite. I've kept salopettes and furry boots, woolly jumpers etc I brought with me from living north and being an outdoor girl. Here on the south coast I never use them. But the thought of how smug I will be when the blizzard comes stops me chucking them.

Always use the nice toiletries and perfume I buy for myself but am a real hoarder for 'best' clothes. Often decide I'll start wearing these items but then I realise how comfy my leggings and big tops are and start thinking about all the extra care I'd have to take with laundry and ironing and not splashing bleach etc. Just can't seem to make the leap. If I donated everything I hadn't worn in the last year as someone suggested then my bedrooms would be almost empty.

I have an opposing point of view!

Do I have the only husband who wears brand new clothes (including expensive jumpers, which are often birthday or C-word gifts) whilst gardening/decorating etc?

Given a chance he will choose whatever is nearest to hand as they are all just 'clothes' to him with no distinction between them.

Grass stains, thorn tears, grease stains paint and glue are all now part and parcel of his 'look'. V v annoying!

I don't keep things for best, precisely because that was what my mother did. It was distressing to clear out so many treasured but scarcely used articles when the house was emptied. A friend said 'our parents' generation was the generation that could not spend'; they were raised to be thrifty, compounded by the war years and the following austerity when items were scarce and difficult to replace, so they limited their use of special things to make them last.
I use all my wedding china and glass regularly and have only broken a few items during the past fifty years.

So maybe I should make a start on those nine unopened bottles of perfume I've got stashed in the bathroom...

I was a child of the 50s and so had clothes that were kept for best. Now that I can afford to buy nice things, I still find myself wearing the same old fleece tops and jeans at home, saving nice things for that occasion that never seems to happen. So now I will take inspiration from this thread and start wearing my nicer things at home, even though just DH and I will see them.

As a child I was encouraged to keep things for best and this continued until COVID. I don’t really have special occasions now so I’m wearing my clothes and have opened up all the rooms in my house.
It’s very liberating.

Mother and mil both left piles of unused presents behind when they died. Since lockdown started, I’ve been working my way through a small stash of unused toiletry presents. Now almost finished. Still working through the clothes though, probably never need to buy another jumper or t shirt (but I will). I never wanted a best dinner service, just settled for a Denby service used everyday - we now have 2 Denbys, alternating on a 5 year rota.

So often I receive a lovely bar of soap as an extra with birthday or Christmas presents so I have used lockdown to start working my way through them all. Cleared out loads of clothes and try and rotate, luckily nobody buys me clothes as a present. albertina very similar thing happened with my mum but she was in her sheltered accommodation for a while, loads of unworn everything and bars of soap and 'smells' I did keep telling everyone she only used Lifebuoy!

I have a ‘kept for best’ dinner service. The problem is, I don’t really like it any more so when we need new plates and stuff I go out and buy them.

After my grandmother died I went to her house where her 2 (slightly) younger sisters were sorting through her things. All the Christmas and birthday presents I had ever bought her were untouched in her bedroom. A pile of jumpers, vest, cardigans, scarves, gloves and nightwear etc. Even a cushion I had embroidered for her at school with the colours chosen to match her sitting room! The sisters wanted me to take everything for myself and were very surprised when I refused. My grandmother was 89 and I was under 30 at the time!

Best is for now, enjoy all the loveliest things you have now. And if you have put away presents that you don't really like then gift them to friends or charities and brighten someone else's day. Never put off until tomorrow, enjoy and have fun today x

Your mother and my mother both.

My Mum died exactly 40 years ago next week. I had just moved her into sheltered accommodation and had partly finished unpacking for her. Among the clothes I found wrapped in tissue paper was at least a dozen new soft woollen jumpers. She always wore her oldest clothes and kept these and many other clothing items for best.

It's a habit I picked up, but have tried hard ( with a lot of nagging from my daughter) to break.

I went back the next day to finish the unpacking and found my mother dead in bed. That should have been enough to make me live for today, but it wasn't. I'm 70 next year so now is the time to get a grip and use nice things now !

MissA that made me laugh.

I was having 'sort ot' under the stairs ast week. I have a Royal Albert teaset and some other old bone china tea sets. Beautiful cut glass tumblers and wine glasses. We never use any of them. I sent pics to my daughter and to my delight she loves and wants some of the bone china. She wants to 'feel' the glassware!! lol I am so happy and she is very welcome to it all. Show anything like this to DD or GD you may be surprised. Vintage things are always appreciated by someone.

I think that there is a difference between thigs 'saved' and things just used occasionally.

Like others I have a beautiful Wedgwood dinner service and silver plate set of cutlery. When we married it was used a lot, Sunday lunch and when we had visitors around for a meal.

We do things differently now: entertaining is more casual and, even before COVID dinner parties are well in the past. But, as others have said, it comes into use at Christmas, but for the whole of the Christmas period, not just Christmas day. We have a dining hall, rather than a seperate room and once the table is opened out and decked for Christmas, the good china and cutlery is part of the decking, so to speak

MissAdventure, hilarious post.

I use everything, nothing ever stored away for best, don't see the point.
Only things ever boxed up are the C....... decorations, they see the light for 12 days once a year.

This thread resonates very much, but our parents generation lived through the war and rationing, they didn’t have much, so things were ‘kept for best’.

As a child of the 50’s, this was instilled into me too. I don’t buy many clothes, lots of the things I wear are years old.

Lockdown has seen me use up various soaps, body lotions, hand creams that have resided in the bottom of the wardrobe for years, I will soon have to go out and actually buy some.

In my parents’ first home we only used the dining room on Christmas Day. In our next home they had a Breakfast room where we ate and yet again only used the dining room at Christmas.

My father was given a Viner’s cutlery set after 25 years with his business. I inherited this and used it annually and when I open the polished wooden box the smell is evocative of happy family celebrations with my parents. Sadly I haven’t used it for about 10 years as you can’t put the cutlery in the dishwasher.

Thank you Mary for starting this thread full of memories.

MissAdventure ???

Even for things he needs, DH “matures” things in his cupboard for at least 6 months before using them. The only exception are underwear and socks. ?
Me? I’m the opposite, impatient and try to wear stuff ASAP. No smellies though as I’m allergic to anything with perfum ?

About 2 years ago I began giving “good things” to people I knew admired them or would love having them. Some are expensive, others not so much. I love to see their expressions and usually have to explain I am not dying, but want these items used. It is such fun visiting them and seeing the things in use as I feel they should be. I do have some things put aside for family in my will, but love knowing they will not have the task of clearing house when I go is a gift for them.

I’m not too bad with clothes, although with lockdown I’m hardly going out and wearing basics, but always nice perfume I’ve a lovely royal creamware dinner service - totally impractical as it’s very fine China and has latticed edges. A huge Arthur Price canteen of cutlery is only used at Christmas now. A glass of wine in the garden was always in cheap Paris goblets bought for the purpose, but now the children say they don’t want our crystal, I intend to use that next year and if it gets broken, so be it.

What a lot of pleasure you and other's have had from that bedspread Monica. Much better to have enjoyed it rather than keeping it pristine in a drawer. I am going to take a leaf out of your book from now on. Also Hetty58's. I prefer dresses to trousers so I am going to put on one of my favourite floaty ones tomorrow ...just because I can.