The Christmas that is mine.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

No, as long as my mother lived, we had to do it her way.

After her death, Daddy usually came to us and was happy to accept our slightly different way of doing things.

Now we are the elder generation. If our son and DIL come they bring food with them for Christmas Day and the day after.

I make Christmas dinner, which we have on Christmas Eve. I'm not yet ready to give up making my favourite meal of the year.

I also decorate the tree, after DH has put the lights on it - others may help, but I love the job.

This year, I expect we will be DH, the cat and me. That doesn't stop me cooking or decorating a tree.

If I can't see my children and GC this year I will be sad. We always spend time at my DS house and get spoilt. They do not want help and supply us with food and drink all day. DD arrives with her partner and we all play with the GC, all our dogs and generally it is a beautiful madhouse. I would rather spend this Christmas with DH, our dog and cats in the hope that God willing next year we can carry on from where we left off, albeit a little older. We need to get a grip of this virus and just keep our distance. That said, those who unfortunately have a member of the family who will be alone or approaching the end of life they should spend time with them - my heart breaks for them.

My younger daughter will be in Spain instead of with us this year. Even if she were allowed to fly we have agreed that travelling is not worth the risk. We will be thinking of ways to celebrate together online, a quiz, maybe charades. Any suggestions welcome!

Would be nice to spend Christmas day with daughter and grandchildren. But I spent Christmas alone before.what's new .I did cry my eyes out .but no one saw me

Since we are both widowed, my sister and I have spent the last four Christmases and New Years in Egypt, on the shores of the Red Sea.
We decided not to chance travelling this year so, we cancelled back in April and rebooked for next year. My friend, who also lives alone, is planning to come and stay with me over Christmas. We shall both be careful to self-isolate for two weeks before she comes. If allowed, we shall meet my sister for a meal out on Christmas Day and I shall cook a traditional turkey dinner on Boxing Day for the three of us.
Plans for the church services, over the Christmas period, are for a limited congregation and online for the rest of us or, if not allowed, just online.

When I was young, Christmas was not celebrated much in Scotland. My dad worked on Christmas day until I was a teenager, consequently there was no traditional Xmas day for us. When I got married we decided we would make our own Christmas tradition. That was mum, dad and the children, enjoyed Christmas day together alone. When my daughters married they also made their own Christmas day as they wished. I am on my own now and have been invited to share Christmas with my youngest daughter and family. I follow there rules and everyone has a lovely day. No problems and no arguments.

For the first 63 years of my life we HAD to go to Mum's for Christmas and stay for at least four nights. Absolutely nothing was allowed as an excuse, not even my advanced pregnancy one year, lack of toilet facilities when their septic tank failed, my family going down with a tummy bug another year and us moving house three days prior. It didnt matter, it was mandatory. My children never spent Christmas day in their own home. When Mum was unable to cope we had to cook a slow pot roast, load it into a box of straw to keep it cooking and drive two hours on Christmas morning to have lunch at Mum's! Everything proceeded according to a ritual which never varied including the whole family watching the Queen's speech and playing Monopoly starting at 7pm as the evening entertainment. When Mum passed away I vowed I was not setting up any new 'traditions' and we have done something different every year since. So far we havent had a Christmas with just the two of us at home and I am more than happy to give it a go in 2020, particularly if we can avoid spending the whole of January in lockdown!

merlot

My concern this year is not for me and my family, we will somehow cobble together a day where we keep in touch on Zoom if not in person, but my homeless, or previously homeless, clients will miss out on a Community Christmas Lunch, which is not going ahead this year. The meal will still be delivered by a score of trusty volunteers, but the camaraderie of being all together in a group will be lost. So many of my clients live lonely lives that I look forward, on their behalf, to them having a day where they can socialise together with others and at the moment they are really isolated. I do support the change this year, but it still saddens me.

SunnySusie that sounds hideous. Why on earth did you allow her to do this to you and your family? I would hate to have never had Christmas in my own home when the children were young. People need to be allowed to create their own family traditions - I wonder why some parents can't see this? I find it incredibly sad.

Merlot gran. Sending hugs. ? ? ?

I have done Christmas for over 40 years since my mother died. I see people complaining about having to follow others traditions and having to travel but at least they don't have to cook!
We don't know what the rules will be yet for this year but, if rules allow, I will have my son and partner here - I've never spent Christmas without him. My youngest is in my bubble, along with his children/my DGC, so he will be here and the children will be here Boxing Day. If rules aren't relaxed, it will be just me and youngest on Xmas Day which would be my smallest ever Christmas.

Bathsheba you will see that I have posted something similar as Sunnysusie up thread.
If you haven’t had such a mother it is so hard to understand the hidden pressure they put on you.
It is like an unbreakable spiders web that only n tears when they die.
I was brought up from the age of eleven being reminded “after all I did for you”.
You do it for peace and so as not to suffer the fallout and the guilt that you live under if you dare to cross them in any way.

Many of us on here have said we didn’t mourn when their mothers die,we only feel a lightening of spirit and that is so sad.

For the past few years, hubby and I have lived in rural areas, which have been prone to electricity "outages" (there is no gas supply, either) and as a result, have cooked Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve, rather than Christmas Day (when everyone tends to be cooking!). We have "party food" on Christmas Day, i.e. some cold, some hot food at lunch and tea time, with a varied selection of things that could be termed "finger food" i.e. mini pies, pizza's, sausage rolls, salad items and cold meats, plus traditional mince pies, nuts and snacks etc. Much more relaxed!

Good attitude Missfoodlove
We don’t have any family in this country, so no problems there.

No you are not the only one!
I have told my son that I wouldn't mind if we have to stay at home, with just the two of us.
Normally we go to my sisters but I always feel guilty for my son as I don't drive and so he has to .
Some would say "why don't you invite your sister to your house then?" That would mean that none of her family would be able to drink which to some , might be no hardship, but to them, it is all part and parcel of Christmas and the reason they started inviting us in the first place!

All of these grand Christmas plans.
Probably none of us will be able to fulfill them.

A quote in today’s newspaper.

‘There is no point having a merry Xmas, then burying your relations in January’.

For 51 years I have cooked Christmas dinner originally for people with no where to go then over the years single friends & family,always around 17 people,daren’t tell anyone but I’m quite looking forward to just my husband and I,usually it’s such chaos with all the allergies and different likes and dislikes.

That is so sad to hear merlotgran.
I hope you both have the most wonderful Christmas together.
?

I can’t believe how many parents have their adult children spend Christmas with them EVERY year, or have had to spend it with their own parents. Our 2 children take it in turns with their partners families and us, and if they wanted to spend it at their own homes , I would understand

Merlotgran

I wish you both a memorable Christmas.

Best wishes to you and you husband.x

We usually go to my DD, who lives quite near us. Her MiL is there and her sister in law with her two children. As DH doesn't drive any more, we leave the car there and get a taxi home. It's always lovely, she's a very good cook. Hope it's allowed this year. My stepdaughter always has her brother and her mother, we usually see her and her children at some point over the holidays.

Moggie57 - Ditto ? And it will be the same for me this Christmas. I'll be thinking of you.