I used to love our big family Christmases. The in-laws could be a bit tricky but no worse than anyone else's and we lived in a large farmhouse in those days so no worries!
DD2 then took on hosting duties after we downsized and they had a bigger house.
This year it will just be the two of us and special in a bitter sweet way because it will very likely be DH's last. 
I intend to spoil him rotten.
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The Christmas that is mine.
(90 Posts)This year I’m not having to please anyone other than our immediate family.
I don’t have to abide by my in-laws traditions, my mothers traditions, it’s our turn now.
Am I the only one that had to do it their way and not our way?
First do I get dressed on the day?!
SIL is government worker , worked last 6 years, GS b/day on 26th. This year he is home 24th to 28th so these plans made in Jan .This year they have day in there house, round the corner to us on 26th GS cake already in my freezer we have decided they will only stay about a hour. We always eat a meal from a different area on the 24th just the 2 of us this year its Greek . So this year's difference for us no making 3 different breakfasts / brunch my fault I started this 1st year SIL changed job15 years ago and had to work , manic time at nans for 3/4 hours
DH and I are quite looking forward to Christmas on our own this year. Normally one or two branches of our AC and GC would come and stay a few days, but we have told them not to come this year. We will cook a traditional dinner with all the trimmings, open our pressies and relax with the TV or a jigsaw in the evening, and of course call the kids. We won't miss all the extra work of having 10-15 people staying with us!
It sounds awfully antisocial but I’m quite relieved that I don’t have to go to parties & stand about holding a drink in one had & a nibble in the other talking to people I either hardly know or know so well that I know exactly what they are going to say as I’ve heard it a 1000 times before.
I’m not counting family in this - I always love to see them & can relax &be myself. If it’s allowed this year!
Yes, we’ve all had to please other people. The first Christmas of our married life we had breakfast at in-laws, lunch at my parents, tea at in-laws, and the other way round on Boxing Day. We couldn’t have even one glass of bubbly because of all the driving, and racked up a couple of hundred miles. It was the worse Christmas ever, and we never did it like that again.
We normally treat all of our families to the Christmas pantomime in our local town theatre on Christmas Eve then a informal buffet back at ours. That’s it, everyone does their own thing after that, but at least we all get to spend Christmas Eve together.
Obviously this year that has been postponed, but we have bought tickets for a timed outdoor Winter Wonderland at a big local park estate. Not sure about having a buffet afterwards though, that may not happen.
We always had both sets of IL for Christmas and were forced to accommodate two very different sets of family traditions. When they had all gone we established new traditions of our own. Now the children are grown up with families of their own, I am determined not to impose 'my' traditions on them as I found it so irritating when our parents (their grandparents) wanted to do things their way. Times move on.
When my 3 were very young, we were always pressurised by my mum into a massive family gathering at her house, about 20 of us and the house just not big enough to accommodate us all. No one enjoyed it, it was just chaos. So after a couple of years of suffering just to keep her quiet, I made a stand and told her well in advance that we will not “comply” in the future. She was not at all happy, but must’ve accepted what I said as we then started to be invited separately. People should respect what others wish to do, any plans should be mutual.
We’re only a small family and my youngest son lives in another city. Whatever the rules we have decided to remain separate this year. Eldest son is on his own and my bubble buddy so we’ll be together. He’s asked for a full roast beef Sunday dinner which he’ll help prepare and shop for. A different Christmas but lot less work for me
We’ve already planned for an Australian style Christmas in the summer, virus permitting
Always went to MIL Xmas day and my parents Boxing Day. Xmas day was MIL thing, listening to our children later in life wished we hadn’t it was the one thing they resented. Not spending Xmas day in our home.
Just the 2 of us with a simple roast chicken dinner, just putting up a small tree too
Sounds horrendous.
My family with their kids are always reminding me to ‘do it like when we were kids’ ... Santa has to have Sherry with his mince pie and Rudolph’s carrot etc etc etc
However, we have incorporated my DIL Lithuanian traditions on Christmas Eve and it has definitely added to the celebrations...
We have never had huge family Christmases. Just us and children and for many years my in-laws who I was very fond of, so they added to the pleasure. We visited my parents on Boxing Day, my 2 sisters, neither of whom was married always spent Christmas with them. After they died, we usually included any waif or stray who was around, an aunt and uncle of DH's, 2 single friends on various occasions.
Since DS married he and family spend one Christmas with us and one at home, visiting us for the New Year. This year they will be at home, which is very convenient because, depending on the rules, they will do a weeks quarantine(or very close to) before coming down to us and that cannot start until the schoolls break up.
We’ve had DS and DD (now single parent of two Grandchildren) from the day they were born, 34 years DD. I’ve already sown the seed that we may all be on our own, although I think DS may go to DD’s. First year ever on our own after 22 years together for me and DH, not looking forward to it, but will make the best. May have them all in garden for a bit of present opening and a drink/mince pie, just until too cold, rather we’re all in one piece for 2021.
No wonder you’re happy this year missfoodlove ?you can do just what you like now.
Our two sets of parents died a very long time ago, so we have almost always had a quiet Christmas, with our own children when they were younger, then with one or more set of married AC or now and then just us on our own. We will buy food in for Christmas and see what happens.
As usual, it will be just the 2 of us, but this year, with extra carers calling in, the lunchtime visit will be too early for us for Christmas dinner, so we`ll have it when they come again at about 4.30 to 5pm, instead on the usual 2.30pm. I just have to produce a quick snack for lunchtime that won`t fill us up before dinner!
I'm going to my dd which I'm very much looking forward to as she's a great cook. I always enjoyed big family get together in the past and I miss that. However I shall embrace the difference. Mum has decided not to join us and is having Christmas Dinner with my brother who lives with her,so we'll have no comments about how something is missing from the meal and no brother getting absolutely plastered and embarrassing himself.
I have managed to discourage my lot from flying home ,, who wants to put their nearest and dearest in danger ?
Alas I am not succeeding in getting the same message to my sister , she says it’s worth the risk , but she will be chilly out on the patio !
We have spent the last few Christmases with one or other of the DCs' families, either here or staying with them, but as they all live at least 100 miles away that is not going to happen this year. We are hoping to have a quiet Christmas with just the two of us, a tree, lots of nice food and drink and some good books. Maybe something good on TV, but if not, we have DVDs. I do realise that (touch wood) we are very lucky to be together and send
to anyone who will be unwillingly or unhappily alone.
So many people have said they are actually looking forward to Christmas this year because it will be more relaxed and less stressful with no guilt. One year off could be a good thing!
My mother always dominated the day.
Lunch to be finished and cleared before the Queens speech, she had to attend mass , the children were expected to be dressed up, jeans were frowned upon, throughout the day there would be barbed comments, nothing was ever right.
This year hopefully youngest son will be home if he can get a flight and our daughter with partner and our two grandchildren will be with us.
Our other son and partner will hopefully be in Ireland.
We will have champagne and canapes by the fire while presents are opened followed by a walk with the dog then eat around 5.00pm.
No contention.
My daughters refusing to host Christmas dinner for her 4 grown up children this year she says she just would like a quiet dinner with just the 3 of them I can’t say I blame her. She’s told me I’m welcome to join them too and everyone is welcome in the evening but one son and daughter are very miffed as they now have to cook and entertain themselves on Christmas Day and they are used to a big get together and don’t want things to change. I’m not sure if I should go to my daughter or stay home alone. We shall see.
For any years we were under a very strict three line whip to go to y mother’s house.
It was cramped and uncomfortable, HI and two children all sleeping in one room and frankly not a lot of effort made.
The year we turned up with not even a Christmas tree up, “ it’s not worth it when you go home on Boxing Day” I said enough was enough.
Of course they came to us which involved a longer stay but south more relaxed.
My mother came to us until she was 95 when it all became too much and at last we could enjoy Christmas.
I do know many can share the same story.
It was miserable.
Missfoodlove a couple of years ago I remember I asked how many of us would be spending Christmas EXACTLY as they wanted, and quite a number weren’t, so maybe the current situation will suit them.
Once again, my ‘best laid plans’ did ‘gang agley’, so it looks like no Canarian Christmas for me. I’ll be quite happy to go to sons or stay home, I’m not much fussed.
Regards,
Mrs Scrooge.
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