Never thought this sort of thing would bother me - but grandchild prefers other Nan to me.

Thanks everyone - I know I’m being silly but it’s funny how things can get to you.
I’ll carry on as always, and just be thankful my grandchild has two grans she sees a lot & who adore her.

You aren’t being silly KANDINSKY - it’s a natural feeling , but we just have to accept it and realise that children can be very fickle!!

All human beings are fikle, with age we learn to mask it and the art of diplomacy

I would expect that the older we get, the thicker skinned we become.
We would also understand what other age ranges are capable of.

Sorry, could be fiklw

OP, could you use the comment to open up a conversation maybe. i think granny maureen is busy today, so she can't babysit. do you like her house. what do you like doing there.
what would you like to do here today.

Kandinsky - I know the little green monster of jealousy cannot be knocked out at times, but you are right in that the little one is lucky to have 2 loving grans that are a part of her life.

We can only build on the relationships that we have, by giving love and time. And like Welbeck suggested, maybe ask a few questions. It may be a simple as a favourite toy at the other granny's house.

If we have several GC, sometimes it’s hard not to have a favourite one of them.

Just never make it obvious.

Children more honest I suppose.

When my GD said that ‘Grandma’ (I’m Granny) was her favourite, DIL was horrified as I did much more babysitting, I laughed and told GD that I would remember that next time I baked brownies (other grandma never baked).

My co-grandparents in law for middle daughter's children are so lovely. I don't think this is the case but I wouldn't blame them if they preferred their other grandma. I would prefer her if I had the choice between her and me. She has four grown up children and is so patient!

And when she is at her other nans may be saying to her I want to go to my other nan.

Many 4 year olds are experts at saying things just to see your reaction.
I can remember my niece at about the same age saying something similar to my mum - my mum's reaction was just to say "oh really? That's a shame as I had planned on doing....." and the mention something she knew that my niece enjoyed doing. Might be termed as bribery but it worked!
Another time she just told her that she would bee really really sad if she didn't see my niece.

I’ve not experienced this as I’ve always been the only Nanny around to babysit for my 5GC. One other Nanny sadly died long before the babies arrived, and the other 2 live miles and miles away. Personally I would actually ask GD why she would rather be with the other Nanny. Of course it’s not a contest, GC need love from all the family, but it could help you become closer if you understand her logic.

I think in life everyone has preferences. My proudest moment was when one of my 9 dgc did a school project on inspiration and chose me as the person that has inspired her. She only sees me occasionally and her other dils parents everyday in life. She is also my sons dsught

I am my only gks grandmum,,
their other grandmum died when the eldest was very young. doubt they remember her.

I have never been what you would call close to my youngest, ie. only gd..
mummy`s girl

now she is just coming 12, and my! the change in her! she talks to me, shares with me! even started to "look after me"

Got caught out with the wrong button there last word should be daughter

You’re not being silly. It’s a hurtful comment and you could always say to her that it makes you sad to hear that. Just a little comment...and see what her response is...and then let it pass. If she’s ok when she’s with you and you do nice things together (you could ask what she’d like to do...within reason) , you can take heart that you’re doing everything right...and leave it at that. My children each preferred being with different grandparents ...they have different personalities and I could see why...and my grandchildren will feel the same I think...it may just be a natural preference, just because we’re all family, doesn’t mean to say, we feel the same about everyone in it.

I think this is likely to be just a playing one off against the other situation - I wonder if the comments about going to other Nana come when you've said it's bedtime, or asked her to stop doing something risky! Kids are little tinkers!

Yes - this does cause a feeling of 'heartsink', and I am quite familiar with it! However, I love my GC, I'm pretty sure they love me, and we do a great deal for them and with them. I try not to dwell on it because as others have said, children do play the sides against the middle, and unconciously at times.

It should not be a competition between the two families. We sometimes just fit better with some people than with others.
If you try to understand what makes your grand daughter tick you might be able to reach her and build a good relationship with her.
Don't try to 'buy' her with big presents...it is never a good approach.

Well one of my GC asked me why I couldn’t be a bit English!! (Am French)
I think that their granny will always be French and can sometimes speak funny!
Reading with them is always very interesting!
And whilst we live in France now, I am lucky to speak to them most days and to be involved in their everyday life.
One set of GC have only me as a granny so have done a lot of looking after in the early days and the other GC’s grandma is a long way from him too although in England. But grandma is lovely and is definitely a better baker than me!

From being 3/4 my DGD (now 6) used to tell me ‘Nannan, I love you more than mummy but don’t tell mummy’
And you can guess what she would say to mummy ...... ?
She still says it now but with a twinkle in her eye
I am in a very lucky position that out of eight grandparents I am the one who always gets the first cuddle and the shouts of ‘Nannan!! ’ when they see me when we are all together at (pre covid) family gatherings. But then I am the only one, despite aching arthritic joints, that gets down on the floor for a bit of rough and tumble.
However if one of the other grandparents pulls out a treat they suddenly become favourite. As has been said, children are cleverer than we give them credit for and I love the ‘no filter’ things they come out with

My 3yr old grandson definitely prefers his other grandad he often says as much, but when he's at our house he warms to his grampy very quickly then when he's at home he says he doesn't like him again, I've never said to hubby as he would be so upset, the other nanny often asks my daughter, especially if grandson doesn't want to stay, if he does the same to me, she usually makes things up just so she doesn't take it personally. I don't mind who he likes dislikes, prefers or not he still my gorgeous grandson

Try and ignore it - it’s not meant to hurt you and the more you push children at that age the more I find they back off. Things will change with time x

I remember my GD now 4, saying when she 2, that she didn't like 'Nanny'. I am called Grandma and at the time I was quite pleased but I made an effort to talk about all the lovely things she had done with her Nanny and she never mentioned it again.

My granddaughter has a ‘blended’ family due to several separations/divorces with everyone remaining civil and involved. When she was about 5 she told me how lucky she was to have 2 dad’s, 5 grandads, 4 nans, lots of aunties, uncles and cousins and then proudly announced ‘and I love them all and they love me’. Now she’s nearly 14 and being a typical teenager I often remind her of that statement

Little minx !! She knows exactly how to push your buttons !
My GD is only 2 yet already manipulative - as others have said, I have an inward chuckle and ignore it.
Your GD is so very, very lucky to be surrounded by so much love . Be happy.