feeling deflated and frumpy

My doctor has mentioned about me coming off HRT so I cut my dose in half. I was fine for a few weeks but then I got acne and bladder problems again. Nothing to do with the way I look (although the acne, especially on my nose, isn’t pretty.) I was prescribed it for constant uti, menopause acne, hot flushes and pfd. However when I lowered the dose I did notice aches and pains, my hair began to look dry and my skin was even more oily. I could cope with most of it just not the interstitial cystitis, it was horrible.

Day to day I don’t wear make up and have designated trousers and tops for being out and about because I want to be comfortable. I have a friend who is always dressed up to the nines and won’t answer the door un coiffed or without makeup. However when we join friends for evenings out I’m the one who gets the compliments-seems people don’t see any difference in her

I note you referred to your acquaintance as a lady in your opener. Not in my book. Unkind and rather rude would be my description. I sometimes look frazzled and I don't have your physical discomforts to deal with (so far). Please try not to let it get to you. There's enough going on without that and, with a little bit of luck, it'll be ages before you see her again. Chin, chin.

Well I would rather have you as my friend than her. We all have days when we look in the mirror and don't like what we see and I'm sure she does. Goodness knows what she looked like when she got out of bed that morning before getting herself 'sorted'. Ignore her, you just be yourself cos you sound a far nicer person than she does anyway.

Sorry' forget it'

I think your friend is the one with the problem - she sounds as if she is trying to 'big herself up' at your expense, perhaps she is hiding other problems. It is nonsense to say that HRT stops arthritis - I take HRT and I have osteoarthritis. There are lots of different forms of it and what works for some, doesn't for others. Try to feel sorry for your 'friend', she is the one with the problem, not you!

Travelsfar'
That sort of person never know what is in store for them.
Chin up and forge it.

Can you get physio for your arthritis? It may help the pain and the stoop.
Ive been using crutches and a wheelchair since the age of 35. So things could be worse. I always say on bad days there's always someone worse off to remind myself to be thankful for what I have got. Stand tall mentally if not physically. But do try physio .u

Totaly agree with Riverwalk.
Smug and nasty.
Looks go being a nice person lasts forever.

Jillybird, my GP’s nurse keeps trying to get me to stop HRT but my GP and I disagree!!!! Travels , I don’t care for your ‘friends’ attitude but I don’t see any reason , given the way you said you felt, not to enjoy a little pampering , for your benefit, no one else’s

Tempest you have just taken the words from my mouth! Totally agree! What a tactless woman your 'friend' is travelsafar! Don't feel down about her unpleasantness, but her personality is her problem, not yours!

I've asked for HRT on several occasions over the years and been told I'm too old now 67. So I'm growing old disgracefully. I exercise regularly despite all my aches and pains. Get my hair done that's important . Only wear mascara, lippy although no point now with the mask wearing and do what remains of my eyebrows. I rarely bother with foundation and if I do it's a moisturising one with a tint. One is never too old to exercise. People gasp when I say I'm 3 years off 70. I've been mistaken for being 50s/40s. I use a stationary bike at home and one or two other gadgets. There are so many gadgets out there for people to begin getting fitter there is no excuse and never too late to start. Exercise for a moral boost is the key at my age. One doesn't have to go like the clappers just move. I'm going down fighting as it were. I will still be exercising in my 80s if I get that far even with my various complaints. Baby steps. Get one of those peddling things currently being advertised for absolute beginners. Navigating aging and ill health can be a challenge. It's up to one to change things. I don't act like I'm 67 or walk like I'm that age. Granted I couldn't run for a bus or even jog because I'm heavyweight. But I keep chipping away. There will always be someone out there fitter, younger looking, smarter than us at the same age but ignore that and take care of yourself. Right off to get me hair done!

Eleanor Roosevelt quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
We will all have to deal with various health issues. There is no magic medicine.
Do what gives you joy and happiness and stay away from negative people.

we can do without friends like this woman.It's hard not to feel a bit frumpy at the moment,I know I don't dress up the same as I used to,it doesn't seem worth it

Very smug sounding woman. Extremely rude and condescending.
Not every one can get on with HRT. My mother had it, it didn't stop her getting arthritis though. I didn't take it as I had problems even taking the pill. I get migraines which the pill used to trigger. I felt HRT might do the same. I wouldn't take any notice of this catty person.

Travelafar don’t be disheartened I have osteoarthritis and had surgery on quite a few occasions. I have been on all kinds of pain relief but for many reasons it was unsuitable. In my mid forties I had ops for fibroids etc and was put on HRT it made me ill I had to come of that.
Now in my sixties I get around and keep active otherwise my joints would cease up completely. I can’t have what little pain relief I was taking because it have caused kidney disease. Your friend sounds very much an image person which is quite shallow. Be yourself that’s what’s important wrap up and look after yourself. People who know you like you just as you are naturally nice despite your health keep smiling.

I dont go far these days,when I do go anywhere I use little make up, but what I am used to, I would hate people to think I have "let myself go" Stay tall in your mind travelsafar you sound a lovely person.

s has been said, travels stand tall and be yourself!! I was asked by the doc to send a selfie because of a skin problem. The photo I took looked nothing like me!! It was an old lady with wrinkled skin - must delete those photos, they will depress me if I look at them!!

Maybe she is skipping around on HRT but there are side effects and risks to taking it which she may have opted for and you might not - it’s freedom of choice and be proud of who you are

I have a friend the same age as me. She lives in another country but visits once a year. We're both 68 but she is so glamorous. Her hair is shoulder length and blonde. She is slim and wears knee length skirts with boots. I feel so frumpy. Im a granny, she's not. I panic when she's coming for a visit. Dyeing my grey hair, getting my eyebrows shaped etc.,

Please don't compare yourself to other people travels as it can only make you feel worse. She'd obviously got herself done up to the nines so you were bound to find yourself wanting by comparison. It was so wet that day that anyone would have found their hair going frizzy - we all know that hair is so important when it 'frames the whole' iyswim.

I always feel fat after seeing one SIL. To be truthful she could do with putting some weight on. Another SIL makes me feel slim - I expect they both compare themselves to others in a negative fashion. How you behave and treat others is more important.

Ignore her and maybe treat yourself for Christmas. A new moisturiser and something new to wear and be kind to yourself as you are the nicer person.

Not a nice person making you feel bad about yourself - ignore her in future

Oh kate1949 I’d have said to her, well you do have the personality of a clown, and tell her the circus is that way, she better hurry up as she’s due on in ten mins

Just remember that what is on the inside that counts . As long as you have good heart ?, nothing else matters .