Malapropisms. (A lighthearted thread)

My 93 year old neighbour is a great one for this. I can't remember most of them but her hotel room on holiday had 'panasonic views'.

Somebody recently talked about “closing a blind eye” ! ?

The gleaming spires, when talking about Oxford.

Not a malapropism but something a neighbour once said that has passed into family legend.

Some years ago I was telling her we were going on holiday to Africa and would pass over the Sahara. 'I bet that looks wonderful at night' she said.

Remember The Black and White Minstrel show? My mum couldn't wait to see it on their new colour television

Again not a malapropism but a conversation on a plane. My neighbour was talking about gardens and said how much he admired Serendipity Jones.

My aunt used to say her hot flushes were caused by the Monoplus.

And a neighbour's favourite Boy Band was Status Crow.

My friend says 'you could have picked me up with a feather' ! Always makes me smile.

A very dear departed friend and hospital colleague once described a gentleman she'd once met as appearing, in her words " very extinguished looking ".
It took me all my time not to laugh in her face.

All I could picyure was a fire hydrant .

picture

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry, when an old friend informed me that her husband has prostrate cancer.
(He’s fine, by the way)?

Many years ago my friend’s son was poorly and she’d had several visits to the doctor with him. She sighed deeply as she said, ‘I’m sure he thinks I’m one of those erotic mothers.’ ?

YorkLady. It's surprising how many people say 'prostrate' instead of 'prostate'. I have a friend whose husband was treated for this condition for many years. After many hospital appointments, reading leaflets etc she still says 'prostrate'. I'm sure that's the least of her problems of course.

I saw one just yesterday that referred to someone as having a death ear instead of "deaf ear"! I had a wonderful mental image!

Chewbacca

I saw one just yesterday that referred to someone as having a death ear instead of "deaf ear"! I had a wonderful mental image!

Maybe it’s a cross between a “cloth ear” and a “deaf ear” ? ?

BiL talking about his dog: “whenever he sees a cat he goes bearsick!”

The Lady who wanted to try on the durex dress in a boutique. What she meant was lurex.

Love the erotic mother.?

When DH’s sister moved house she said they were getting rid of all their old furniture because they were going to go “mimalistic”!

Saw something on tv where the person described themselves as a vivacious reader....

A neighbour always referred to 'Motifs' as Moffats

Many years ago a school friend (now quite a well known actress?) after a very energetic tennis match, declared to all and sundry “I’m absolutely ravishing“

I remember years ago meeting a neighbour who was rushing to get home to the toilet sayings she was suffering from awful
asteroids