I'm searching for advice- can you help?
Long story short- I am 63 years old and working full time as a secondary school teacher- in school every day during lock down.
I had my mother living with me and my family for 5 years before she died in April last year. Despite dying from leukaemia- she was also diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder. I should have gone 'no contact' with her years ago- but her strangle hold was so strong I couldn't- instead I took her in to my home. The effect of her illness on me has been huge- I have had PTSD counselling.....
Since her death, I have struggled to come to terms with self loathing and guilt, but at the same time, I have worked my socks off trying not to be her- with my 5 children- I thought I had succeeded!
In the last 3 years my 25 year old daughter and her boyfriend have lived in my house for 2 years. They are still with us- they have been able to save a lot of money.
My 20 year old daughter has been with me since before Xmas with her boyfriend- both unable to return to Uni.
Just before Xmas, my 31 year old daughter arrived home from Spain. She was unable to return last Sunday.
She found it difficult living in the house hold and decided to move to her fathers until she is able to return to Barcelona.
She felt on the outside of things in my home- with 2 sets of couples etc.....I could only empathise with her and felt I had let her down when she left. We messaged each other about this and I communicated my theory about her 25 year old's behaviour- which at times is very judgemental. She is very arrogant and repeatedly tells me what she thinks of me.....
She went through my phone and read my private messages. She went straight to her father- he generally backs up her against me. I heard her shouting- went into the room. She had my phone in her hand and then started to scream at me. ' you are a F... shit stirrer, you are deluded, what you have said is vile and outrageous......I don't want you in my life anymore.....' it went on. I felt violated. I had no voice- she shouts over me and her father - trying to keep the peace- kept telling I had made a mistake in messaging my other daughter.
My younger daughter- became involved, and both now want nothing to do with me in my own home which I have given over to them for years now.
I spend my time in my bedroom when I come home in the evening. I clean up and do my household chores at 5:00am in the morning when everyone else is asleep.
I am broken by this behaviour- from both girls and from the lack of support from their father.
Please tell me what to do now. I feel like leaving.
Thank you in advance.
Elainecoley1957 Tue 12-Jan-21 09:51:54
Gwen45 Tue 12-Jan-21 10:18:48
Nonogran Tue 12-Jan-21 10:28:15
Carenza123 Tue 12-Jan-21 10:28:25
Toadinthehole Tue 12-Jan-21 10:29:55
vampirequeen Tue 12-Jan-21 10:38:30
Grandmafrench Tue 12-Jan-21 10:39:37
Grandmafrench Tue 12-Jan-21 10:41:29
Urmstongran Tue 12-Jan-21 11:00:48
jenpax Tue 12-Jan-21 11:09:56
Smileless2012 Tue 12-Jan-21 11:13:16
sodapop Tue 12-Jan-21 12:40:11
GillT57 Tue 12-Jan-21 12:48:10
Hetty58 Tue 12-Jan-21 12:59:33
JGran Tue 12-Jan-21 13:17:00
Eloethan Tue 12-Jan-21 13:17:50
Sickofweddingcake Tue 12-Jan-21 13:33:55
Nanadeeping Tue 12-Jan-21 13:39:31
Oopsadaisy1 Tue 12-Jan-21 13:50:37
Madgran77 Tue 12-Jan-21 15:21:59
Daisymae Tue 12-Jan-21 15:23:10
V3ra Tue 12-Jan-21 15:54:38
Spidergran3 Tue 12-Jan-21 19:31:07
Meaux Tue 12-Jan-21 20:40:53
Armadillo Tue 12-Jan-21 21:07:15