4allweknow
I feel I am really hitting a barrier. DD died April 2019. Hadn't got to grips with that when Covid kicked in. DH has cancer and is now on the end stage treatment for the disease . He has very little energy for going for a walk Was given 2 years but one of those has been used up with Covid restrictions. Discovered through research my GS has a learning disability. He is 10 and school has put his issues down to everything but a disability. All those years he has struggled and to get a formal, education department accepted assessment we may have to pay or wait months as waiting lists for any school funded assessments are huge. SIL (deceased DD's husband) is struggling with the isolation, he has a bubble of a friend but he doesn't want to impose on him and his family. I don't live near him. I can't remember when I had a night's sleep. I feel I should contact GP but I know if I am diagnosed as depressed my husband will feel he is a main part of the cause. I go into the garage get on the exercise bike and can just weep buckets at times. And some folk think it's terrible not to be able to go to a pub!
Bloody hell, 4allweknow you definitely need help. I’m so very sad to hear how badly life is treating you. No one should have to cope with all you face, on their own. You should definitely speak to your Doctor - your DH would surely benefit too if you had more support. Make that a priority, please. You owe that to yourself and you must say how you feel because there is no shame in admitting it’s all got too much for you.
If you can, come back and let us know how you are, what you’ve been able to change. Grans are here to listen, any old time. Try the Good Morning thread, or Soop’s Kitchen. Always lovely people to speak to through the night on the Night Owl thread. Please don’t cry alone, that’s crazy - people do care.
Sending you a hug, and every good wish that you’ll find some small relief from all your pain at this awful time. ??♀️