Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

My incident took place in the house I grew up in when I was staying in uni holidays. The bathroom was at the back of the house on the ground floor beyond the kitchen having been built there to free up another room upstairs for a bedroom after my brother was born. It was qute a small room with a sliding door which took up less space but the lock was not very effective. It was late evening and I was getting ready for bed. I'd got undressed upstairs then came down to use the loo. Whilst I was in there my brother and his friend arrived home after an evening in the pub. His friend needed the bathroom and walked straight in while I was sat on the loo. Instead of shutting the door immediately he stood appearing transfixed, staring at me probably significantly under the influence. Obviously I was incredibly embarrassed but the worst part was not being able to get to bed without going through the room where I knew he'd be waiting as I assumed he still needed to go! Needless to stay I was in the bathroom for a very long time!

When I first met my future mil, she invited me to lunch on a Saturday. now I knew she regularly went to bingo and so was a bit nervous thinking that she'd given up her afternoon. When I arrived she'd put on a lovely spread and had a beautiful hand embroidered cloth on the table. She told me she'd make the tea, if I'd just put milk in the cups and yes you've got it, I knocked the whole milk jug over. Luckily just over the cloth and not the food. I told my now husband to please say he'd done it. We did tell her years later what had happened.

Soon after my second marriage, I invited the hospital chaplain to dinner. We had moved in the meantime and he had not been to the new house, nor had he met my husband.

About 3/4 hour after the time he was supposed to arrive, the doorbell rang and there he was, dripping wet from the storm that was going on.

He had gone to the wrong house, where the husband was in the kitchen cooking the evening meal and his wife was in the bath upstairs. The neighbour thought that maybe his wife had invited him and had forgotten to tell him. He gamely added to the meal to stretch it out and plied the priest with sherry (to which he was not averse). It was not until his wife came downstairs that the mistake was realised. Poor soul had then walked a couple of hundred yards in the pouring rain as he had not realised how far away our house was.

Ever since then, I have felt I owed several glasses of sherry to my neighbours who, luckily, were amused rather than annoyed.

Hope this is allowed as it wasn’t in someone’s home but a very posh and famous seaside hotel. I was there at residential managers conference with a couple of hundred others and at lunch time my friend an I walked through and around the substantial dining room to find some colleagues and an appropriate place for us all to sit. Unfortunately my friend had started the day with reel of cotton to complete a small repair and had tucked it in her pocket, but the end had worked its way loose and as we had moved around the tables and other delegates, it had created a huge but very fine tapestry. It took the sour faced waiters and other guests some time to clear it all. Sadly we weren’t very helpful as we were too busy laughing.

Many years ago I was at my my boyfriend's house which I visited regularly and always got on well with his parents. At some point whilst I was in the same room as them they started to argue and when things got heated the husband slapped his wife. I was quite mortified but couldn't escape as they were between me and the door. Eventually I got out and went home. The incident was never mentioned again!

My husband and I were invited to a Chinese meal in the best restaurant in China Town in Newcastle by his Boss and his charming wife. We'd never eaten Chinese, but were impressed by the very hot lazy Susan in the centre of the table, which we turned to help ourselves. I have no idea how it happened, but as I picked up my wine glass, the lazy Susan swung and trapped my fore finger - as it was so hot, my kneejerk reaction was to get my finger out, which resulted in me flinging the glass of wine all over the Boss's wife! Mortified!

In my teens I lived in a house with an L shaped Living room with half of it out of view from entry. Thinking no one was in, I came downstairs, naked, looking for some clean underwear which was in the living room in the ironing basket. It was until I stepped in the room and turned the corner that I saw my dad with a very young and handsome colleague of his looking over some papers. Needless to say Dad wasn’t too happy.

My parents had gone out leaving the eldest to babysit. She invited a load of friends to the house for a party. My parents arrived home early and everyone scattered everywhere. After a telling off, my dad went out to get coal from the brick bunker in the back garden for the fire. He kept hearing a yelp everytime he rammed the long handled shovel in the little opening at the front of it. Then this poor guy finally squeezed himself out, wearing what had been a lovely pair of white jeans. My dad's face was a picture.

A friends father was a GP. Much to his annoyance he got a call late one evening. He eventually found the right flat and hammered on the door. Someone answered and in he strode. There were 3 people watching the TV. 'Right , we will have this off! ' he said loudly switching off the telly and then asked who was the patient. At that point he realised he was in the wrong flat!!

At our wedding reception in a Countryside restaurant, my husband's family were seated closely on a Horseshoe shaped table configuration for the Wedding breakfast, a Three course meal. My sister in law say in the middle of a row of three, her husband to her left, and her brother in law, who had a bit of a reputation at becoming a Ladies man after he had been drinking to her Right. Everything was proceeding smoothly, and the speeches were about to start, when she suddenly stood up and shouted at her Brother in law to Keep his hands to himself' with a few swear words thrown in for good measure! Her husband however could not stop laughing, he had known for sometime that the restaurant owners Dog had taken up residence under the long white tablecloths, and as busily sniffing out any scraps of spilt or dropped food that may come his way!
Sister in law had probably dropped some crumbs onto her lap, and Dog stuck his nose up her short skirt trying to retrieve them, which she mistook for her Brother in law trying to get 'Fresh and Frisky' with her, like he had done before when he was drunk a few weeks earlier!

Best Gransnet thread ever! Thank you MissA

DH and I were invited to dinner at friends home. She and her husband were good friends but we’d never been invited to dinner before.
We were greeted at the door and she had uncooked potatoes and a pot in her hand. She asked if we wanted 1 or 2 potatoes. They were small potatoes and my husband could have eaten all the potatoes himself. I had 2 tiny potatoes, a tiny slice of salmon with a slice of lemon and 6 string beans. The starter was a thin slice of melon and pudding was the fruit bowl. After coffee she passed around a box of chocolates - one each of course. On our journey home we had fish and chips. Our friends always eat a decent amount at our home and still do. We haven’t returned to their home although we’ve been invited.

I had met my boyfriend’s parents a few times but on one occasion I was sitting chatting to bf and his mum when a bald man I didn’t recognise appeared from upstairs. My face must have registered my confusion because my bf whispered that his dad had had sunstroke very badly a few years previously and that since then he usually wore a toupee. I honestly hadn’t recognised him without his hair!

We were invited to some friends' house to see their slides of a trip to India. We did not realise that the invitation included food, so we ate before we left, only to find ourselves presented with a full home-cooked Indian meal when we arrived!

Now my OH always fell asleep after eating (he had been known to fall forward with his head in the custard!) so when the lights went out and the slides started I was on the alert - I spent the whole evening poking him in the dark to stop him snoring!

I was asked by a friend if I wanted to come to her house to play. She hadn't asked before so I eagerly said yes.
She said not to stare as it was always a bit untidy, and yes, it was certainly that, with old newspapers piled almost to the ceiling. But what was worse was the strong smell of urine that nearly knocked me sideways as we walked in. My friend seemed oblivious to this and we set about comparing Beatles versus Monkees records.
After a while I was nearly passing out with the aroma and must have looked a bit iffy as my friend said did I want some pop? We went into her kitchen and there, draped over the open gas oven door, which was lit,was the most enormous pair of pantaloons I'd ever seen, nearly ready for their second or even third wearing.

We were at the funeral of a very good friend’s mum. Everyone there was pretty ancient , and there weren’t enough seats at the wake, so being youngest in our sixties we stood. My husband was leaning against the window sill, when suddenly we smelt burning and the fire alarm went off. My husband had leaned against a tea light and set his suit jacket alight. Fortunately , our good friends forgave him.

You are making me laugh!
My DB's wedding at Easter in Denmark. His DW-to-be asked various friends to put up her DH to-be's relations and we, with our 3 small boys were billeted with a family who had 2 boys the same ages as ours.
It was a small house, bitterly cold outside and generally very noisy.
Our hostess was working over the weekend as she was a vicar. She also wasn't feeling well and I was rather glad when it was time for us to leave and drive to the ferry as I realised it was quite a big ask. Away we went with lots of waving and happy smiles.

Our car broke down on the way to the ferry.

What to do? There were no garages open and nothing could be done until the following Wednesday. We drove back and sheepishly knocked on the door.
Thinking we had forgotten something their jaws dropped when they realised we were set to stay for another 3 days.
The boys were happy though and she became a Bishop!!

This wasn't an uncomfortable experience in someone else's house. It was an uncomfortable experience in My house. I invited a couple of younger work colleagues to my house for tea. They arrived and after I had answered the door they followed me into the kitchen for a glass of wine and so that I could carry on cooking. After a while I noticed one of them (an American) was missing. I just assumed she'd gone to use the downstairs loo. But no. She'd taken herself off to roam around my house, upstairs and downstairs, totally without my knowledge. I only realised when she reappeared back in the kitchen and proceeded to tell me what she did and didn't like about my house! Not only was I angry at her cheek I felt violated by her complete disregard of my privacy. The meal was quickly eaten and I feigned a headache to get them out of the house. I could never get over my anger at her rudeness and rightly or wrongly I can't stand Americans because of her!

Many years ago I was moveing and had to rent my house out. A family with two small children contacted me to say they were interested and would like to view it. I arranged a time to meet the lady and her little girls with her husband comeing to join us a bit later. Whilst waiting for him we sat chatting about their move etc. Time seemed to be getting on so at some point I glanced out of the window to see a much older man walking towards the house! Can you believe I said ‘oh I didn’t know your dad was comeing to look as well! Yes dear readers, it wasn’t her dad it was her husband!!

My mother had a cousin who lived in Wales. It meant that we never met and the only contact was Christmas cards and very occasional letters. One day my mother had a phone call from her cousin asking if her daughter could have a bed for the night and a bite to eat as she had to come to London for a meeting. The room was prepared and a meal was underway when the daughter arrived and said "Had you forgotten I'm a vegetarian?" No my mother hadn't forgotten - no one had ever bothered to mention it. It was in the days when shops closed at 5.30 so she was reduced to borrowing a cauliflower from a neighbour and making cauliflower cheese. She was not happy and the visit wasn't repeated.

Here's a second-hand one:

When my OH was a young man, he took a girlfriend back to his house for the first time. They walked into the living room to find his dad on his hands and knees in front of the fire wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. He was drying his hair in the heat of the fire.

Said girlfriend, I am told, was rather bemused to meet her boyfriend's father's backside before she met him face-to-face ?

OH's dad wasn't the least bit embarrassed, and just turned his head to say a cheery hello then carried on drying his hair. (I never knew him, but apparently he was quite a character.

At the age of 6, I embarrassed my mother by answering the door to a neighbour by saying "mummy said she hoped it isn't you and it is"!

My aunt, probably called a 'maiden' aunt in those days, lived in an area where relatives, friends and neighbours just called around to borrow something or have a chat. No locked doors then or phones to forewarn people. Her younger favourite brother, glamorous bubbly wife, and family had recently rented a house in the next road and my aunt had taken to popping round. I was visiting her one Sunday when I was about eleven years old and about 10.30am she decided to go to see her brother. We got there to see the children quietly eating breakfast or reading books. 'Where are your Mum and Dad? she asked. 'In bed' came the reply. My aunt was scandalized. 'Go and wake them up.' The elder children looked at each other and didn't move but a younger one shouted up to them. Ten minutes later uncle's wife appeared. 'How can you sleep until this time?' my aunt said. At the time I didn't understand the reply and the twinkle. 'We weren't sleeping' she said. Aunt left without another word, taking me with her. They moved to another house quite a distance away a few weeks later.

My darling Sis-in-law’s first introduction to my parents is still talked about at family gatherings. Mum and Dad and I had been to a party and come home a bit squiffy, it had started at 2pm, so by the time we came home at 8/9ish we decided to have another drink at home and stuck on some music. My gran had given dad a ridiculous silky housecoat thing for Christmas and when my brother brought his new girlfriend in to meet the fam (he didn’t know we’d been at the party) they walked in to my dad wearing a red satin housecoat singing Delilah at the top of his lungs into the hoover attachment (his microphone) with mum and I doing backing vocals. My brother was mortified! She still laughs about it to this day and says she knew exactly what she was getting into from the first meeting!

Love it LadyJus! Out of the mouth of babes eh?
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