The Argy Bargy Bar is back!

grandmajet I know you have a thing for the firemen but I’m not setting light to my llamas to get them here. I have been training them to do line dancing. It should be fine for Friday but at the moment Gnasher keeps falling over Alarma llama’s feet.

Welcome to another Argy HappyMe. Good to see you live up to your name. Partial to poteen myself.

Sorry to miss last Friday. Fell asleep whilst bejazzling my wellies. They might just do for this Friday for my turn on trapeze. I don't think I'll exactly fly through the air with the greatest of ease with them on though. One might fly off and land in the food.
Good idea about the liberty bodice ixion. Dug my silk thermals out last night. Odd smell about them. I always thought they were blue

You saw through my cunning plan Doodle. No firemen for me this week then.
I can’t wait to see the line dancing llamas. Will they be wearing plumes on their heads?
I’m practising my clown makeup and custard pie throwing. Beware flying wellies and pies!

Poteen brewing away at last. Been a bit slow this week but will be ready for Friday.
You know what Gnasher is like doodle. Maybe put him next to Grasper as Alarma is quite small.
I will be standing on Grasper's back as he trots around the ring doing my acrobatics. He will then be fit for line dancing and I will be fit for nothing.

Thank you muse, it is so warm and friendly here I may move in. Good news for circus night....I bumped into my old friend Jacque le Knife, he is available to do his famous knife throwing act this Friday, his cataract op has been cancelled...such a shame he has been waiting for years. However he would need an assistant...his last one has misteriously gone awol. I would volunteer BUT am too busy hopping about on one leg practising my balancing act. Am inpressed at your trapeze work muse I would love to be a high flier but scared of heights. Let me know when the poteen ready for testing AGA ?

muse I can’t wait to see you on the trapeze. That’s one of my favourite acts. Thank goodness it’s you doing it and not lisagran otherwise she’d have her jugs flying round all over the place.
Yes grandmajet the llamas will have silver plumes on their heads. Grasper is all ready for your act. Just make sure you face the same way as he’s going. If you turn round for any reason, watch out for the teeth.
Happyme I’m sure we can persuade Lisagran to be your friends glamorous assistant. Just up her street. Er, I wouldn’t mention about the cataract operation though. ?

Sorry AGA it’s you Grasper will be ready for. He’s looking forward to your acrobatics. Just ignore his sulky expression.

Flying wellies, pies, knives and jugs ?.......is there a first aid kit in the Argy Bargy Bar....I could bring my sewing kit

Grasper has an evil glint in his eye. I am hoping when I am standing on his back and I say 'trot on' he won't break into a full gallop. That would mean I would do a spectacular back somersault and probably land with my nether regions facing upwards in good biting position for the llamas.
Happyme the poteen is ready for your approval - or not. I have added several herbs and spices to this brew so I hope you will like it. I have left your pint on the bar so let me know what you think when you are sober again.

muse I would advise keeping your wellies on at all times in the Argy. I don't think the floor has been cleaned for years. and with four llamas...........

Will do AGA44. I'll be able to tell Doodle this time what the smell is.

Had a practice on the trapeze this morning. Fred hung one up in the barn for me to use. It's been a few at least 40 years since I was up there. I did feel very queazy ? . I'm sure I'll be alright on the night.

I have a pint of poteen before going up

well, I'm sorry AGA, I'll have you know that the floors in the lavs positively sparkled when I was a skivvy junior there.

I see the Admiral has almost done himself a mischief dragging that cannon up from the quayside- he is making funny noises and is an alarming colour.
Whose idea was it?
If you think I'm going down, you can think again.
Do you want nominations?

Sorry ixion the lavs were the only clean place in the Argy. I always took my boots off before going in.
The Admiral said he was going to be ring master but he will be slumped in the corner as usual after his efforts with the cannon.
No cannon for me I am taking enough risk on Grasper's back.
muse you will be fine after your pint of poteen. It takes away all fear

The poteen is ready...how exciting....was wondering what the pungent stink odour was. Now for the testing.
A quick swirl round the glass and I can see it has legs....lots of them...spiders I think.
Holding it up to the light I can see it is a bit cloudy....did you put frog spawn in AGA?
Don't really want to get my nose too close to take in the bouquet but here goes ????. Nuff said.
Can I miss out the sipping and swilling bit and go straight to the spitting?
Only joking AGA it is magnificent, can I have another? Cheers ?

you will be fine after your pint of poteen. It takes away all fear

Along with the fear, it takes away your innards as well☹️?

oh ixion, now you tell me. Explains those strange rumblings, I thought it was the Admiral and his cannon

I could have a go in the cannon after I’ve done my llama dancing. It will be quite safe ....won’t it??

Don't get stuck in there Doodle. We have run out of WD 40.

Oh. What about goose fat AGA have we got any of that? You could put some roast potatoes in with me so I can have an in flight snack ?

We can put the whole goose in with youDoodle so you don't get hungry on your journey. Who knows how far you will fly

Put a head camera on, doodle.
You could make a few bob by selling the footage to G**gle maps.

Or even str***v**w, if your trajectory is, er, less than optimal

Well, I hope the lavs are up to ixion’s high(?) standards. I’ve been polishing the knobs and knockers all afternoon.
The poteen sounds, erm, interesting. Make mine a litre please.
I’d offer to have a go in the cannon but my big clown shoes may get stuck.