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The Argy Bargy Bar is back!

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Wed 27-Jan-21 21:44:26

Hello Argies, regulars and newcomers, after meeting Moneybags Mike this evening we have another year’s lease on the bar ( £8/10/6d! Daylight robbery)
Drop in here anytime for a chat, banter and a drink or three.
Every Friday is a ‘theme nite’ there may be a raffle and there is always humour along with strong poteen.

ixion Fri 26-Feb-21 13:09:46

I need to sit next to the driver.
I get sick, if not.

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 13:52:21

Isn’t it lovely here. We made loads of money from llama rides and ??, they’re back resting in the hose box, so we can go off and spend, spend, spend!
Flirty Fred’s funfair first, for some ??? I think, then a nice big ?and some ? , then off for a swim and a bit of beach boy fun.
Wheeeeeeee!

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 14:10:38

Hello! Hello! Where are you all? You all went into the ghost train with beach boys an hour ago!

ixion Fri 26-Feb-21 14:30:42

I'm hiring a pedalo as we speak. Got to get those thigh muscles in trim for later.
Thought I would potter out and see if I can find lemon and loadsamoney Reggie in their yacht.
Try to get our till money back Catch up old times and get the goss.
Back later

AGAA4 Fri 26-Feb-21 15:13:48

I had to empty some liquid out of the coach and replaced it with poteen. I did put the cap back on. I hope that's ok?

I am sunbathing with one of the lifeguards. He has promised me a go on the Big Dipper, I think that's what he said.

The others are all coming out of the ghost train now. ixion seems to have lost some of her clothes and she is looking a bit flushed. Happyme looks exhausted but very happy. No sign of the Beachboys. Probably fast asleep in there somewhere.

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 15:49:38

My knitted bikini let me down somewhat. It was fine until it got wet. Flirty Fred’s offered to cover my embarrassment with his best shorts. I didn’t realise he’d still be in them.
Lemon will be surprised to see you out on the ocean blue ixion, I hope she doesn’t fall in with shock!
Take care on the Big Dipper Aga, don’t fall off the side on the bendy bits.

AGAA4 Fri 26-Feb-21 16:05:23

grandmajet we did warn you about the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow knitted bikini not to get it wet.

The llamas seem to be enjoying paddling in the sea. If we can get them to go further in they will smell less on the way home.

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 16:30:08

Let’s leave the llamas paddling a bit longer. I’m charging ten shillings a go for a selfie with a paddling llama. The people of Sarfend have never seen them before.

AGAA4 Fri 26-Feb-21 16:36:27

Gnasher will love that. He is such a show-off.

Happyme Fri 26-Feb-21 16:44:04

So there you all are.....there you all are.....there you all....will you stand still!!!
What you are??
Must be me then....no not the poteen....well not entirely...just had 6 turns on the waltzer ??
Lost my tuppence on the last go, should have kept my hand on it

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 16:47:14

I thought it was your ha’penny that you kept your hand on. Inflation, eh!

AGAA4 Fri 26-Feb-21 16:54:16

I hope there haven't been too many tuppence ha'penny's lost on our day out.
Everyone looks as though they are having a whale of a time - must be poteen, candy floss and chips.

Happyme Fri 26-Feb-21 17:58:27

Still hanging on to my ha'penny , a girl needs to hold something back.
What have you done to the llamas, I spent ages on the way down brushing their coats and plaiting their tails, now their bottoms and ribbons are all soggy ?.
I'm flouncing off back to the walzer, the ride man is a doppleganger for David Essex and I am in lurve ??. He said he would keep an eye out for my tuppence.
Has anyone seen Doodle, I last saw her trying to drag the Admiral out the portaloo.

ixion Fri 26-Feb-21 19:07:34

???????????
That blob on the horizon is me, folks.
So busy working on my thighs and looking for lemongrove and her fancy man that I didn't see how far out we'd travelled.
I have dropped ⚓️, but please send a team of tanned life-guards (if they're not too worn out by other activities ) to rescue me

Doodle Fri 26-Feb-21 19:24:48

? I’m coming ixion hold on. Me and the Admiral have pushed the portaloo into the sea and are making our way to you now. It’s a bit rough going trying to row a portaloo but we will see you. Hang on. I’ve tied a rope to the Dormobile so as soon as we’ve picked you up we can pull ourselves back.
Row,row, row we’re coming

ixion Fri 26-Feb-21 19:27:50

Oh.

Where are the the dishy lifeguards?
I've dabbed a little something behind my ears in expectation ☹️

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 19:31:07

Great rescue Doodle, but I think ixion wanted tanned life-guards and you turn up on a portaloo with the Admiral!
I’ve dried off the llamas and settled them down in the hose box with a box of popcorn.
Now for a night on the town!
Watch out Sarfend!

Doodle Fri 26-Feb-21 19:32:22

They wouldn’t come. Seems AGA has been giving them pints of poteen and they’re too drunk to come out. I have brought a man in a uniform though. The car park attendant is at the back being cox.......at least I think that’s what he said. ?

grandmajet Fri 26-Feb-21 19:32:38

C’mon, the beach boys are all at the fair with the lifeguards, and Happyme is on the prowl!

ixion Fri 26-Feb-21 19:37:23

Oh, go on then
Portaloo it is.

Paddling like hell billyo to assist in getting to terra firma..
Mind you, I should be grateful of a little ? on the hay in the hose box before I start on my winkles

lemongrove Fri 26-Feb-21 19:40:32

I’m here girls! Reggie has tied our yacht up to the pier and we shall be visiting old haunts ( yes, I used to live here) so this is a real treat.?
What to do first? The Kursaal? Fish ‘n’ chips? A paddle? Perhaps a trip to a posh bar in Leigh?
I am wearing pink hotpants with a tight lurex top, and flipflops for a stroll in the beach. The tide is in! Drat.

lemongrove Fri 26-Feb-21 19:43:49

Sorry ixion I would have swum out to rescue you but have just had my hair done ( and it’s still in rollers) and Rich Reggie has a dicky ticker!
Pedal like mad girl....you’re nearly there.

AGAA4 Fri 26-Feb-21 19:45:53

I've pulled with the man on the dodgems. Free rides for us all.
I can see a portaloo bobbing about on the sea. Is that Doodle rowing with a toilet brush? The Admiral is behind her. Not sure what he is doing.

ixion Fri 26-Feb-21 19:48:19

From what I've heard, lemon, you'll be under-dressed for a Friday night at the Peter Boat in Old Leigh these days.
I think most of the action takes place behind the cockle sheds.

lemongrove Fri 26-Feb-21 19:48:45

Well done Doodle what a star! Magnificent sight, watching you and the Admiral rowing the portaloo to the rescue.....what biceps ( positively bulging) although the Admiral looks a bit weedy compared to you! He needs feeding up....somebody get him a plate of pie and mash.

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