This is interesting.
Our two eldest children born when we were quite young, they went to independent schools, and never went short of anything, but I was quite strict, and extra money had to be earned, and they had chores to do. We were supportive of them, and all got on well, had a good social life, which they were always included in, lots of other children within our circle, and they became independent quite quickly, both home owners in their mid twenties, and have never really needed our help for anything.
Child three, big gap, we were financially better off, she had the best education, we supported her in everything she wanted to do, she was undoubtedly spoiled, but was a lovely child, and we loved to buy her nice things and take her on lovely holidays, often with a friend.
Now at thirty she has made mistake after mistake, three children, two fathers, both completely useless, she threw away her chance of a good career, and later her opportunity to buy a home for her and her little child, instead falling into another disastrous relationship. She has a responsible job, and works hard, and is a good mum, but I think we have pretty much taken financial responsibility for her and the children for years, she’s lovely, but I think we definitely went wrong somewhere.
My feeling is, that she feels such total unconditional love and support, that she thinks whatever happens, we will be her safety net.