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(29 Posts)
EvieJ Thu 28-Jan-21 12:29:32


At what age would you say people/children need to take responsibility for their own actions and stop blaming parents

Thanks Eve

Sara1954 Fri 29-Jan-21 11:36:52

Thankfully my own experience were nothing like as awful as Kates, but I didn’t come from a happy home, and in particular my mother was very cold and unloving.
I do blame her for some things, I think my life, especially my teens could have been so much less stressful and worrying with supportive parents.
But that’s who she is, she’s never going to change, I don’t see her any more, but I no longer blame her for anything, I dare say I wasn’t easy, and I think I’ve got to take responsibility for my own happiness.
I’m definitely not belittling Kates experience, but I think for most of us, our parents probably did the best they could.

Iam64 Fri 29-Jan-21 13:06:31

Silver lining, yes abuse experiences, neglect, emotional abuse, growing up with parents dependent on drugs and/or alcohol stays in the heart and soul. It’s amazing how many adults learn to manage feelings that would drown many of us 🌻🙏🏽

Artaylar Fri 29-Jan-21 16:06:56

In outlining my own childhood experience of family dysfunction I definately was not belittling the experiences of some of the other posters who have experienced abuse.

I'm thinking that dysfunction and abuse are two entirely different things. Maybe there is a very fine line/tipping point between the two. I'm not sure where this fine line is - maybe to do with active intent on the part of the parent/s concerned.

So, while there was on occasion some violence in my childhood home, it was incidental, alchohol fuelled, all a bit chaotic really and a couple of times I accidentally got caught in the cross fire of it.

The path to coming to terms with abuse is a very very different one to that of the 'my parents did the best they could' on coming to terms with dysfunction. And for people who've experienced abuse, may not, very understandably, be acheivable.