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What happened to simple kindness?

(55 Posts)
Luckygirl Thu 28-Jan-21 22:34:26

Today I had to go to the breast clinic at the local hospital - I was a bit wary about it because it is a small hospital and they have lots of covid cases - and it wasn't helped by a porter strolling about with his mask over his mouth only.

But what really upset me was one of the clerks behind the desk - she was taking details and asked for my next of kin - knee-jerk reaction I started to say my OH's name (he died in February) and I was taken aback by a wave of grief. I swallowed and pulled myself together, explained to her that I needed to change my next of kin and why. I gave her DD3's name and then realised that I actually do not know her address - I go round all the time, but almost never have to address anything to her. So I suggested DD2 - clerk was by this time in tight-lipped eye-rolling mode. Got through that eventually.

She then wanted my mobile number, and I said that I did not know it off the top of my head, but that she had got my landline number. She insisted that I give her my mobile number and that I should look in my phone and find it. I tried that - not there that I could see. (I almost never use my mobile as a phone - I just whatsapp friends) Then she said: while you are sitting in the waiting room you must put your mobile number in your phone. I refrained from telling her that (in the absence of the number) it was not possible, but was sorely tempted to tell her not to be such a patronising cow.

She could see that I was upset by my initial mistake about my OH and that this had flustered me. I cannot understand why she could not be pleasant and kind. I tried to tell myself that she might be feeling anxious in a patient-facing role during a pandemic but it was not a nice experience.

Callistemon Sat 30-Jan-21 11:36:42

Should everyone be sacked who has a bad day at work?

Of course not, but perhaps some more training or support is required.
The receptionist should leave personal problems behind when he or she arrives at work in a patient-facing role. Her/his own problems should in no way impact on the way she or he does the job and on the patients.

Chewbacca sensible post.

choughdancer Sat 30-Jan-21 11:39:49

welbeck

on my mobile i have entered my own number without a name and it comes up first in the list of contacts.
which makes it easier to find and show someone who needs it.
if your phone demands a name in order to save a contact, try entering the number in the name field as well as the number field.
sorry you came up against that sort of person. they are a minority, but little things make a big difference.
really their supervisors should be arranging for more training and bringing it up in appraisals.
also i think when selecting staff in heath settings more thought should be given to this aspect.

This is such a good idea welbeck! I also have difficulty remembering my number and have now done exactly this. I think some younger people don't realise how older people's phones are not necessarily the way we organise ourselves. My daughter got very worried and angry when she couldn't contact me by mobile (justifiably as I had taken my granddaughter out for an adventure!). My phone had run out of charge, I didn't have a charger, trains had been cancelled and I couldn't find out how to get back. She couldn't understand how I could possibly have gone out without a charger.
That sounds like a horrible experience Luckygirl. I hope that this member of staff was only rude under extreme stress and not like that all the time.

DiscoDancer1975 Sun 31-Jan-21 10:51:37

rafichagran, sorry if you think my post was snobbish and patronising. I can see how that would come across, but can assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. I have working class roots. In fact, my mum was a receptionist in many different places, most of her working life. I can’t imagine her ever talking to someone like this, even on a bad day. I get tired of bad behaviour being excused/ explained away. I also don’t like seeing people, especially vulnerable ones, being put down. There was a school secretary in my kids primary school, who was the most vicious person you could ever meet. She undermined everyone, including the Head. Was she simply having a bad day? If she was, then it was every day for ten years! I would be like you, and give as good as I get, normally. However, if I was recently widowed, I may not. I would bet that Luckygirl, wasn’t the first patient this woman has been rude to, and won’t be the last, no matter how much ‘ re training’ she has. It’s most likely just her. Hopefully one day, she’ll meet someone like her, perhaps that’ll change her.

biba70 Sun 31-Jan-21 10:58:59

What an awful experience Lucky, I am so sorry.

I would write to the Practice Manager and explain what happened- not for the woman to be sacked, but for her to be made aware of the effect she had on you, and probably many others.

I don't know my mobile number by heart either, and I often (most of the time) do not have it with me either. No wonder you were upset hugs

On the other hand, and this is NOT excusing her- being a doctor's receptionist is a thankless task. We do not know what had happened to her that day, she might have been abused and shouted/sworn at all day- as I know for a fact it happens that way round too.

But the Practice Manager will hopefully deal with this, and make her see the error of her ways. Maybe very grateful for your letter that will give her/him the chance to give her an official warning (as probably aware there is a problem there, but needed the evidence).

xxx