Being patronising or maybe not ?

I dont mind being called anything just as long as it's not a swear word.

tickingbird

It doesn’t irritate me in the slightest. I think it’s rather nice. I find it irritating that people get on their high horse just because someone is trying to be pleasant.

Same here. however, I guess it could be because I grew up in a part of the country where this was common and thought to be friendly nothing more, nothing less. It was also a common occurrence to walk into a shop and exchange a few pleasantries about the day/events and leave feeling happy after having had a little friendly chat. Something quite rare where I live now.

nanna8 like you, I hate hun!!

I remember being called 'hen' at a Parents' Evening in SE England by a Scottish dad. I thought it was delightful!
When I lived in E Midlands, it was 'me duck'. I loved it.
I used to have a variety of endearments for my pupils.

I was quite taken aback the first time a waiter referred to three of us ladies as ‘guys’. Now I don’t mind at all. My wonderful DiL calls us you guys all the time.
I have a really good friend who calls me hun, sweetheart, lovely lady and other endearments that I really dislike but can’t bring myself to tell her. She also does the aw bless thing too.

pydora

Me too!! My pet hate !

Puzzler61

Me too!! My pet hate !

Me too!! My pet hate !

I'm in the North West and in this area it's very common (outside of formal settings) to call people (of either sex) "love". I do it myself. It's a form of friendliness. If I was, for instance, in hospital, and a nurse said to me "Are you all right, my love?" it would seem much more caring and friendly than if she/he had just said "Are you all right, Mrs Moggy?".

I don’t mind at all, in fact I quite like it (unless it’s obviously part of an insult!)

In the 1980's we had American colleagues who were then in their 20's. They always referred to us as 'you guys'. So I imagine that the expression has reached the UK from America. I don't think of it as modern though. I live in the South of England, although I was brought up in the North. I have not come across any 'loud mouthed Southerners' in all the years of living here. Folks are folks as far as I am concerned.

I detest it...

Gelisajams, thank you.

Yes, I agree with you! Calling someone you don't know well by these over-familiar terms is, in my opinion, utterly disrespectful and tantamount to bad manners! ?
I was born in 1957, and brought up to show respect and good manners to everyone, especially older people! That included not using over-familiar terminology when addressing people I didn't know well! ?
To this day, I still feel uncomfortable calling friends of my parents - now in their late 80s and 90s - by anything other than their formal title, and I am nearly 64 now! ?
Even as a child, I was rather pedantic, and I am probably even more so now that I am a "senior"!? However, in my opinion, respect, good manners and common decency are never old-fashioned! ?. Unfortunately, these are things which seem to be sadly lacking in today's society! ? Just my personal opinion, I don't expect everyone to share it!

In spite of tight denims and bleached hair, I suddenly felt old when locum doctor bent down to me and in a loud voice called me “darling”.

I don't mind most terms of endearment as a rule it's just things are said. When some people say "mate" they can be quite menacing, likewise when someone say "bless your heart" sometimes they are being friendly and other times they're being snidey & patronising, it's all in the tone .

None of these bother me - it’s better than being ignored.

However, I object to professional people calling me by my first name, as if they know me personally.

Don’t I know it Alexa

I like it, although it does make me realise that the person considers me old. 70 soon so I guess I am!

As a Yorkshire Lass I use love without thinking, in Somerset I found I was often addressed as "my lovely", now I live in Devon it's usually "my lovely", "my lover", "maid" which isn't just used to girls & young women. Hun doesn't bother me at all but "you guys" makes my hackles rise. A friend calls everybody "sweetie" . As long as it's meant in a friendly way I don't even notice.

I too dislike people using my first forename as I use my middle name (always have done), I prefer Mrs on first meeting, I do however forgive Health Professionals as they look at you official name but if I see them frequently I do say I prefer to be called L**

When an older friend feels patronised this way she smiles warmly and says ‘thank you but I’m retired, not retarded!’

I hate it and will correct people who do it.

Doesn't bother me at all.

I hate the ‘hun’ (too sickly) and ‘dear’ (always feels like a put down) but here in Yorkshire ‘love’ is standard for men and women. I lived over the border in Derbyshire for a while and their ‘me duck’ took a while to get used to.

Here in Germany the problem doesn't arise. You are Frau xxx until agreed otherwise. In fact some people say their mother warned them against people who used first names too readily.

I am having trouble trying to think of a term of endearment similar to those listed here.

Anyway, it doesn't bother me much. Workmen and homeless people may address me with the familiar form "du" but that seems quite natural and I don't take offence. I don't use it for them, though.

" when I was a supply teacher and didn’t know the children’s names the girls were sunshine and the boys monkey" That is truly sexist to label girls as if they were incapable of being monkeys.