Being patronising or maybe not ?

Prior to an operation the male anaesthetist sat by n the bed of the old lady next to me and introduced himself using his first name and hers. I’ll never forget she said “ young man, this is a hospital not a speed dating venue so I’ll thank you to call me Mrs.... “ ?

that's brilliant!

Yes, context is everything and I too much prefer being called love or hinny or pet with a smile compared to just being politely "dealt with".

I also think, though, a lot of the time these are just verbal tics especially in the customer service industries and no disrespect whatsover is intended

The only one I cringe at is 'dear' or 'dearie', it makes me feel older than I already am!

But I think it depends on who's saying what and whether it's meant kindly or not. As a 'mouthy know all southerner' (Londoner actually) I have always called people 'love, ducks or mate' and I don't mind it said to me, it's part of my upbringing.

I used to work in a nursing home and cared for a very upmarket elderly lady. Her even more upmarket daughter informed me that her mother was to be known as Mrs B..... but when we were alone she asked me to call her by her first name as nobody used it any more. In her family she was mother/gran/aunty etc and since her husband died she’d forgotten what it was like to hear her name. I did as she requested and thought it very sad.
As above tho, I don’t mind an odd love, petal, sweetheart etc as long as the tone is friendly. The one I really can’t stand is SWEETCHEEKS ?

Oh that is sad.
I'm glad she got to hear her name again.

If it’s said with a friendly attitude I quite like it. I wouldn’t like ‘hun’, but happily no-one has ever called me that!

Just as long as they don't alter my name, I'm fine. If I introduce myself as Deborah I don't want their first words to be 'Hello Debbie'. I consider it the height of rudeness to change someone's name without their express permission.

In labour with my first son, in Exeter, I was called 'my lover' by my midwives in that friendly Devon accent. I can't say it bothered me at all, in fact, it sounded really caring. I had more important things to think about at that moment.

Why do some people say " see you later" I have no intention to seeing them nor do they. Why do they say that and where did it come from

I say it, but I've no idea why.
It gets on my own nerves!

We are very friendly up north and call everybody luv !!

Many many years ago a bus driver used to call me Babe and I hated it (I used to travel on his bus regularly as well ). I was in my local supermarket last week, and the very young male cashier called me Babe - didn't know what to think that time seeing as I'm old enough to be his granny .

When one of the boys in work calls me "my sweet, my love" etc I know he wants me to do something for him.

Exactly my thoughts...if people are friendly whats to take offence at?

The only one I don't really like is 'Dear' as makes me feel old (I'm 54). I used to live in the Midlands and got 'Duck' a lot and I loved it. Not a name I'd ever heard people using being from N.Ireland.

i have never minded being called things like sweetheart or darling, i just do the same back, some workmen asked recently...you all right darling, i just said i am fine sweetheart, my first name bugs me it is spelt as lyn at the end and not ine, if they use the ine i tell them either use my right name or call me mrs nexus.

No I like it. I get called darling or sweetheart. It could be worse.

The only thing I don’t like is when men call me live out dear. Women I don’t mind.

I think you can tell by the tone if it’s patronising or not. The older I get them more I notice it! I really don’t like being called, ‘dear’.

I usually don’t mind too much what folk all me, but my eldest grand daughter had a new boyfriend she wanted to bring over to Spain with her to visit us. I asked to meet him via FT before they came so we weren’t total strangers when they arrived. His first words to me were along the lines of ‘alright darling’! I took an instant dislike to him and felt he was very disrespectful to me. He ended up causing my grand daughter to fall out with me for a while. Thankfully she realised he was no good and finished with him, thank god.

First name use is also cultural. Everyone uses first names here most of the time, strangers or not. Very few use surnames at all and no one thinks anything of it. It is considered friendly. When we first came here nearly 50 years ago now, I was taken aback and thought it over familiar but it is amazing how quickly you adjust.

I dont mind duck, darling, love, etc. But I hate it when professionals ring up and call me by my first name! It's Mrs Naninka unless I say otherwise, you over-familiar millenial twot!!

Oh now that really is patronising!

I always thought that in polite society it was rude to give yourself a title. So the Duke of Hastings would call himself Hastings and a married woman would not call herself Mrs G but by her Christian name and surname. I therefore always used to introduce myself this way until I realised that everyone from the bank clerk to the estate agent thought this gave them permission to call me by my Christian name. Now I always introduce myself as Mrs G.

I don't mind endearments from people I meet in the street, but I do object to them from anyone in a professional capacity.

nanna8

First name use is also cultural. Everyone uses first names here most of the time, strangers or not. Very few use surnames at all and no one thinks anything of it. It is considered friendly. When we first came here nearly 50 years ago now, I was taken aback and thought it over familiar but it is amazing how quickly you adjust.

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