Most embarrassing moment?

Without doubt it was calling out the fire brigade in a moment of panic. My oven was on fire and the kitchen full of smoke. My son screaming and insisting I call the fire brigade. I did and then after realised I couldn't un-call them. I tried but the call handler said they had already set off (they always have to check anyway).I remember hearing the sirens approaching and wanting the ground to swallow me. My son had run off.
They came out of the engines (yes, they sent two!) in full breathing gear and I just wanted to die.
They marched into the kitchen and opened the oven;
'I think it's the garlic bread.' I said in a very weak voice,
'That's not garlic bread,' the fireman said, inspecting the cinders, 'that's a ciabatta!'
They took it in good part and soon left but I was mortified. My son didn't come home for hours.

Dashing off to work only to be told by my friend and colleague half way through the morning that I was wearing odd shoes! Same style just one black and one brown. Not too bad I suppose, I said I had another pair the same at home!

Sorry. Mine is just too embarrassing.

When my children were small and I was teaching them to read, I can remember standing in my local post office and when I was asked my name spelt it out to them as if they were 5- years old using the sounds of those letters.

Another time back in the early 1970's going into a small sub-post office with my 3-ear old son. It was pension day and there was some delay so the place was crowded with old people. One had an equally old, large dog who was sitting down panting. My son - in his very clear toddler voice looked at the dog and exclaimed 'Hasn't he got an enormous penis!!!' Back then, many older people considered it almost swearing for such words to be used. Horrified expressions all round and I left without having transacted what I had gone in for.

I crouched down to stroke my MIL’s little yorkie. It immediately started sniffing right between my legs and I couldn’t stop it. Worse was to come as I then accidentally did a loud fart on its head! ??

I'm totally cracking up at all your stories! Laughter is truly the best medicine!

I was in a pub and standing at a bar and I took a piece of seafood from my husband’s seafood basket and ate it. Only it wasn’t him, it was a stranger !

Similar with the fire brigade. Before I moved in I came over to check the house and discovered the fire alarm had been blasting for hours, possibly days. It was 2 devices, electrically connected to the high hall ceiling.I couldn't reach or see any way of turning it off so I phoned, not 999, the fire brigade for advice. Within minutes they arrived and a squad rushed into the house. They could see no way of turning it off either so one stood on a chair and pulled out the 2 alarms. I have never replaced them and use a battery one that I can keep on the table.

White jeans and a silent wet fart in the pub, and not realising it was wet till I sat down, I had to have a rear escort to the car

Walking from the BHS Ladies toilets back to my seat with a trail of toilet paper coming from behind me, as it was trapped in the waist band of my trousers! I think I had gathered it up from the roll as I adjusted my clothing - Well those toilet cubicles can be quite narrow

To make it worse, if that is possible, it happened again when I was walking through Boots and a kind lady pointed it out to me

Not to me but to a friend. Christmas on Edinburgh. Mad busy streets, no parking, shops were hoachin.( Full of shoppers). My friend had ordered a new artificial Christmas tree from Jenner's. Prince's street was jam packed so her husband said go and get it and I'll go round the buildings as there's nowhere to stop. Friend duly got tree, went outside and spotted her husband's car. She leapt at it, threw the tree in the back, hurtled into the passenger seat and yelled, "Go!Go!"
Yup, wasn't her husband's car. A rather startled stranger looked at her.

I once took my young daughters to a Haven holidays site and went to use the water slide wearing a Bikini.
The pool was very busy, and as l shot out of the exit to this flume, I found the water pressure managed to undo my Bikini top, and I was left standing Topless with no Bikini in Sight, and only my arm to try and cover myself as l lead my Children back to the changing room and away from the laughs and geers from other holidaymakers around the Pool at the time!

When I was young the dog coming down the stairs with a used sani pad ( the thick ones) in her mouth and my brother telling us.

I still shudder when I think of this.
I was a young teacher and we used to leave our lunch in the staffroom. I worked with a fellow who was newly married and I didn't have too much to do with. My mum used to make mine so when I went into the staffroom at lunch time I picked it up and started to eat it. I thought it was much better than usual - brown bread instead of white, mustard and nice thick juicy sausages. When the fellow came in an asked where his lunch was I knew immediately what I had done. I offered him my mum's white bread thin sausages in my sandwich but he was not impressed. He didn't speak to me again and fortunately I left soon after to get married!

I was teaching part time in a school which was changing from sec mod to comp. I had what is now Year 8 for English one afternoon and two boys were being, to put it mildly, disruptive. I intended to say to one of them, 'I'll have it out with you after class'. What I actually said was, 'I'll have it off with you...' Cue uproar and red-faced teacher saved by the bell.

I was 17 about to have the first snog with my new boyfriend in the front seats of his car.
As he pulled me into his embrace my butt clunch failed me, I let out a high pitched long squeaky fart and as l tried to put the failed butt clunch breaks on it made it sound worse making little intermittent squeaks. I wanted to die ?
I can feel the embarrassment still to this day almost 50 years later.

I was about 14 and my friend and I were visiting a lad in hospital who'd had a minor operation. When we got there I was nonplussed to see the object of my heart's desire sat at the lad's bedside. I fancied this boy like mad and couldn't even look at him, let alone speak to him, I was just in awe of him. Whilst all the visitors were chatting to the patient, I just sat quietly trying to look cool. I then started to rock backwards and forwards on my chair (God knows why, probably nerves!) and suddenly the chair slipped on the highly polished wooden floor and I shot, like a bullet from a gun, under the bed! I just lay there looking at the underside of the mattress wanting the ground to open up and swallow me. All the visitors were doubled up laughing and my friend wet herself, she laughed so much.. Oh the shame! I never did get to go on a date with that boy, is it any wonder?

I was walking through town in a hurry, and as I stepped up onto a kerb, my big toe hit the kerb with such force that I catapulted into the air and landed on the ground with my backside in the air and my dress up over my head. To make it worse, it was a hot day, and I was wearing a thong as the dress was thin and white! I was 'picked up' by two teenage boys, and despite having blood running down my leg from a gash on my knee and (it turned out after a visit to hospital later) a broken toe, I scuttled away around the corner as fast as I could go, insisting I was fine. When my colleagues found out what had happened, they wet themselves laughing and when we had a new member of staff start, they told him too! It still gives them much amusement, and that was ten years ago!!

I'm not alone then with my blunder of humongous proportions. Nice to know we are all flawed and fantastic human beings and brilliant that we can all laugh at ourselves in our moments of hysterical humiliation!

When I was a young teenager, my parents and I stayed in a B&B with no en suite. During the night I woke up desparate for the loo which was along the corridor, and went dashing in without locking the door. The inevitable happened; a man walked in and saw me sat down with my knickers round my ankles. I daren't look at him the next morning at breakfast time.

When I was about 8 , I needed to go to the loo in the middle of a piano lesson. I was sent upstairs ,only to find the teachers husband sitting on the loo , trousers round ankles.
Another one- I was on a training course and a woman was talking about remarrying. I thought she said her ex looked like Alan Rickman ,who I don’t find attractive and said so- trouble was she was talking about her new partner!!!

Oh Aveline do tell!

These stories are great! Thanks all for a much needed laugh!

We .were on holiday in Cornwall with our touring caravan.
Hubby, who never wore underpants, was standing in the open doorway one morning in his shorts. He raised his arms to stretch, and his shorts dropped round his ankles! The family in the next caravan were eating breakfast at the window. I avoided any contact with them for the rest of that week!