Gransnet forums


One upmanship

(191 Posts)
GagaJo Tue 23-Mar-21 09:27:58

So, over the last few weeks I have seen one upmanship on GN about the following:

Curtain v plantation shutters
Paint v wallpaper
Sausages (cheap and fatty v butchers)
Easter eggs
Holidays (2nd home v beach and poool)
Houses (detached v anything else)

Have I missed anything?

GagaJo Tue 23-Mar-21 09:29:27



annsixty Tue 23-Mar-21 09:38:42

I once, many years ago, made a similar post and was shot down.
Having thought about it ,I haven’t noticed any of the ones you mention recently.
Sometimes it is oneupmanship, sometimes it is just a comment in with others.
There is a huge difference in ages and financial circumstances on GN, I am very much older than most but most certainly not better off than most.
It sometimes seems I am much worse off.

Ellianne Tue 23-Mar-21 09:41:37

sometimes it is just a comment in with others. that's how I see it, but it obviously rankles some.

Puzzler61 Tue 23-Mar-21 09:45:45

Are the posters just stating preferences? Some of us like to know what trends are popular particularly regarding soft furnishings, furniture and floor and wall decorations.
I like to gather tips about things GN’ers buy that require little maintenance as I’m not a fan of spending much time on housework.
Regarding UP manship - I’m neither UP nor DOWN. Like most probably, my ‘means’ sit in the middle. 🙂

M0nica Tue 23-Mar-21 09:50:36

You clearly see one upmanship where no one else does. I read most of those threads and didn't read any as being an exercises in one upmanship.

I just saw different people with different views and we do always tend to think that whatever we choose is the best solution, otherwise, why choose it?

I see very little one upmanship on GN

foxie48 Tue 23-Mar-21 09:52:24

Struggling to see how One Upmanship works on an online forum! I remember my daughter, saying, when she was about 7, that a child she knew had told her that they had three bathrooms in their house. "That's nice," I said. Daughter added, "so I told her we have four." "But that's not true," I replied. "Well she won't know, I'm never going to invite her home to play, she's a horrible show off!" was her retort.

annsixty Tue 23-Mar-21 09:54:25

I agree Puzzler it is choice in some cases.
Obviously not with 2nd homes but wallpaper/paint, Easter eggs, curtains/shutters and taste in sausages,
Even carnivore, vegetarian, vegan are lifestyle choices but can be taken as oneupmanship I suppose.
It is when one boasts about it to be superior that gets to me.
I declare an interest as I live in a detached house but unlike so many GNers I didn’t go on to further education as I had a very deprived childhood.
Now that is something I envy.

Lucca Tue 23-Mar-21 10:03:12

The only oneupmanship I’ve been aware of is competitive cleaning and competitive Covid avoidance! Both of those involve boil washing and sanitising everything that moves or doesn’t twice daily.

Calendargirl Tue 23-Mar-21 10:04:36

I posted on the sausage one, it was ways to prevent grilled sausages ‘spitting’.

Remarks were made about fat content of certain sausages, I said mine were good quality butchers ones, didn’t realise I was being ‘sausage snobby’

Trust the OP hasn’t got a ‘chip’ on
her shoulder along with the fatty/non fatty sausages.


grandmajet Tue 23-Mar-21 10:05:28

Conservatory v orangery.
Sorry, I thought this was a light hearted thread. I’m not very concerned if people have more/less than me in material terms, and have not noticed any particular oneupmanship on any threads I have read. If you have a pool, a second home, or whatever, and are talking about your life, you will probably mention it, without necessarily meaning to show off.

Peasblossom Tue 23-Mar-21 10:06:15

Competitive cleaning?

I’m definitely an also ran.

Or thinking about it, failed at the gate😱

Ellianne Tue 23-Mar-21 10:07:39

Precisely grandmajet. The words just come naturally out of your mouth.

Lucca Tue 23-Mar-21 10:09:35

Orangery??? Surely not, that has to be the ultimate unpretentious !

grandmajet Tue 23-Mar-21 10:22:49

Lucca, I don’t actually have one! Although my conservatory has a glass roof - does that count? An almost orangery!

Gwyneth Tue 23-Mar-21 10:23:31

I think as annsixty mentioned there are great differences in financial circumstances. For example couples are far better off on the whole than those of us who live alone. I have to be very careful with my spending and I do admit to feeling a little bit envious on occasion when posters mention second homes, exotic holidays, large houses etc. I don’t think it’s one upmanship it’s just a different lifestyle so I say good luck. I get more fed up hearing about the ‘perfect’ children and grandchildren in various ‘top’ professions. My children are far from perfect but they’re kind and hard working!!

grandmajet Tue 23-Mar-21 10:25:02

I agree, Gwyneth - a bit like the ‘round robin’ Christmas letters.

henetha Tue 23-Mar-21 10:25:14

I haven't got anything to be 'one-upman' about.

timetogo2016 Tue 23-Mar-21 10:29:19

I agree with you M0nica.

Gwyneth Tue 23-Mar-21 10:31:49

Yes grandmajet forgot about those!!

Lucca Tue 23-Mar-21 10:40:30

Gagajo out of curiosity I just looked at Easter egg thing.ok it wasn’t very exciting.....but I didn’t see any oneupmanship? Just people,saying what they did and where they bought their eggs?
A lot mentioned Mand S that classed as oneupmanship?

NotSpaghetti Tue 23-Mar-21 10:42:28

Gagajo I'm another who read most of those threads and didn't notice it.
I didn't comment on all of them though so wasn't "one-upped"... maybe that's why?

Oldwoman70 Tue 23-Mar-21 10:53:48

When the butler brought me my mid morning coffee, I was sitting in the orangery looking out at the pool, he assured me that I have never indulged in oneupmanship

Ellianne Tue 23-Mar-21 10:56:16

I'm feeling guilty now I mentioned my pool, my holiday apartment, private school, SLK, my Harlequin wallpaper, my marble dining table, sourdough bread etc. On the house buying thread I've even put on photos of some of the above but never thought of it as boasting, it was conversation and no one made any such remarks.
Am I a displayer of one upmanship, seriously please say it? Eek I hope not..
Oh dear, it will be a sad day on GN if different sorts of people have to worry about everything they write.

MerylStreep Tue 23-Mar-21 10:58:41

I trump your butler and pool with my tennis court and stables.