My OH wants another dog

Maybe see if you can get him to visit Dogs Trust with you - you never know he might just see a smaller dog he takes a fancy to. Not an easy situation to solve but if it’s you that ends up doing the work I would stick to my guns !

Is there a local Dog rescue charity where your husband could volunteer? That way he could spend time with dogs that need care and attention. Or maybe you could try fostering? This is a great way of giving a rescue dog a good temporary home while the charity finds them a permanent home. I hope you can come to a solution, I feel for both of you

This could all come out of lockdown loneliness. Maybe make a condition that he does the feeding, grooming, cleaning the house of hair and muddy paws - and always poo duty is his domain. If he lapses tell him the dog has to go.

I’m a cat lady myself, and held off having one because my OH had problems with a former wife keeping six cats in a tiny flat. Before we got together (he lived next door) I caught him feeding my cat from his sandwiches and we both cried when she had to be put down.

Fast forward 20 years and during lockdown I was getting more and more depressed so he agreed I could have a cat provided all the looking after and cost was mine. Along came little Loki and guess what? I don’t get a look-in! Although I do have the litter tray duties!

After I lost my 17 yr old dog I didn’t want the fuss of a puppy so I volunteered as a dog Walker and Fosterer for the Cinnamon Trust. Now I am a permanent Fosterer snd have a lovely whippet. They are a brilliant charity, pay all approved vets bills so no worry as most of their dogs are older ones, and you are giving peace of mind to older owners who are ill or pass away and know their dog will be looked after. The only downside is that you are usually taking on an older dog so you don’t know how long they have. But that also means that they are likely to be well trained and just need a lot of TLC till they get used to their new home.

I would love another dog and spending so much time at home this past year makes it look more viable. However my husband does not want the commitment of daily dog walks with bags of dog poo in his pockets. I am arthritic so my walking is a bit limited. He likes the house to be clean and not smelling 'doggy'. He has never really got over the death of our Irish red and white setter, we had three dogs at that time and he loved all of them but he felt Seamus was extra special and he held him in his arms in the 'dog room' when the Vet and his nurse came to put him to sleep. It was a horrible traumatic day for both of us. I didn't want Seamus to see me cry and for him to get more anxious so I sat by the fire listening to the whole thing. Dreadful day. Actually I can't even think about it now without getting upset so maybe he is right. No more dogs but they add so much to life.

NanaPlenty

Maybe see if you can get him to visit Dogs Trust with you - you never know he might just see a smaller dog he takes a fancy to. Not an easy situation to solve but if it’s you that ends up doing the work I would stick to my guns !

I was just about to suggest the same thing as Nana Plenty .We had always had dobermans as family pets which have been fab every one of them, they are wonderful dogs in the right hands, loving funny gentle giants . Anyway after our last one died, we decided not to have any more dogs ,but after sometime had passed we found the emptiness in the house & garden unbearable. So one day went to the nearest dog shelter and we fell in love with a smaller mixed breed dog and were able to adopt him. He sheds hair and needs just as much exercise & attention but with him being smaller he seems easier to manage somehow and we enjoy him so much. Picking a dog that you both make a connection with will make all the different, but you must make it clear to your husband before your get another one that you only want a smaller dog & that you're not doing all the grunt work yourself, it's a shared delight!

When I had to get my 17 yr old dog put asleep I vowed no more, but as time went on I really missed having one. Finally decided to get another so rescued a dog of about 3/4 yrs old. No puppy for me, although I had a lot of training with this one as she had been badly treated and scared of her own shadow. They are great company, great exercise and just adore you. Maybe get a smaller dog that suits you better and I can bet when people head back to work, dogs will be heading to rescue centres and you will find one there.

Smaller dog is the ideal compromise. It's the only fair solution really. Less work for you but still a dog for him.

I would let dh get one on the understanding that HE does the looking after,and it`s not an option.

Having had dogs all my life, when my last dog died 5 years ago I decided not to have another one for a while as it would be unfair on my then 19 year old cat. In the meantime, I joined borrowmydoggy.com and have been walking 2 lovely dogs, a cairn terrier and a poodle cross ever since. Four years later , said cat died just short of his 23rd birthday by which time I had got used to not having my own dog. The dogs I walk absolutely adore me (good for my ego) and I think the world of them. Their owners are now friends who have helped me in different ways, particularly during lockdown so for me this has been the perfect compromise.

Is there a 'borrow your dog" near you. A lit of people allow others to take their dog for a walk, have them for a day/afternoon. Many who "borrow" are people who would like a dog but don't want the full responsibility, can't afford one and people who are thinking of getting a dog and would like to find out all that is involved. Son lends his dog to two families who would love a dog but feel they wouldn't cope along with work and children. Otherwise I would tell DH his dog he takes full responsibility.

We lost our 12 yr old westie a year ago, he was like our baby we are still broken hearted, my husband would love another dog but we agree we couldn’t go through the heartbreak of losing another one, so he often takes our daughters dog for walks and she brings him over for visits.
This is a small way of having contact with a dog but not having one of your own

I realise that your husband might be reluctant, but I recommend that (after lockdown], you contact a local main breeder (have a look on the Kennel Club website) of Standard Poodles. They don’t shed, are very clean, very cheerful and friendly and have no genetic health problems, as their eye problem was ‘bred out’ of the breed years ago. People who think Poodles are silly and not proper dogs, invariably change their minds once they meet them. (Proper) breeders are usually happy to show off their dogs whether or not they have puppies or a planned litter. If there are no puppies and he knows you just want to meet the breed, hubby might be more willing to go if only to ‘shut you up’ as it were. If you can sell him on the big ones, remember that there are also two smaller sizes and I defy any dog lover not to fall in love once they are living with the funny, loving personality of a Poodle.

Oh yes, I forgot to add that Poodles don’t smell either. Their coat is wool, not fur.

I have exactly the same issue GrannyChrissy. We recently lost one of our GSD's, a very large male who was devoted to my DH and vice versa. It has been and still is very difficult for Dh to come to terms with his loss and he persists in wanting and looking online for another one, even though he knows I don't want another because it was me who did training, walking, cleaning etc. I have now relented -largely against my better judgement, because Dh has promised to help with all the care that goes with a large hairy dog. I'm not sure that the promises will be kept once he has his way, but what I have insisted on is that we get a female because they are smaller and some can be quite petite. I am also insisting on getting a pup (or very young dog) because that way there are no issues with mistreatment in the early years. Maybe you too could think about getting a female on the understanding that your husband takes equal shares in caring fully for the dog? Good luck, whichever way you decide.

25Avalon - snap, our lab is 5 months old. He’s huge, full of energy but an absolute gem. I’ve had lab crosses but he’s our first pedigree lab.
The key is , you both have to really want a big pup, and understand what’s needed.

We lost our lovely Jack Russell last year absolutely heart broken we still have our Ella mixed Staffordshire. We usually do get another dog but decided not to as we have another granddaughter. We have not had the granddaughters here this year but it’s not practical to have two dogs now. Why does your DH insist on another big dog surely as you get older it’s going to be too much? Stick to your guns say yes to a dog but one easier to handle.

My daughter lost her big dog last year. She has only a tiny house and did not want another dog. She put a notice in the local shop that she was available to walk dogs and has had a couple of dogs a week. She charges £25 for a 2 hour walk. But of course not everybody can have the energy and stamina to walk dogs.... just a thought.

Just a thought on the big v small dog issue. Big dogs definitely cause more domestic work. Our huge lab x standard poodle died last year. Until mega -puppy arrived, we had one small, well behaved spaniel. The pup means much mopping of floors, wiping of doors, cupboards etc and don’t mention the car.
Aside from causing dirt and taking up space, my experience of my big dogs has been they’re very good natured, easy to train and less likely to be happy primadonnas

I would tell my husband if I were in your shoes, that you feel you are too old to deal with all that keeping a dog entails.

However, if he wants one, or two, that is okay, as long as he does all the feeding, exercising, hoovering, trips to the vet, etc.

Tell him kindly, how long you have found these tasks take, and that you have no intention of living in a mess of dog hairs, so can you sit down and work out a compromise?

If he will not consider a smaller breed of dog, then will he consider confining the dogs to having their beds in some easily cleaned place, like a utility room and only allowing them into one other room of the house.

German shepherds are quite content being outside most of the time, so a well-fenced garden, which I presume you already have, or a large dog run should meet the case.

I do realise that if you have always done all or even just most of the cleaning that he has absolutely no idea how long it takes, but he can surely learn.

Iam64 they are gorgeous dogs labs. They can be very bitey for the first 6 months but easily trained with food!! Also they like to please and very good (when they get out of the bitey stage) with gc. Dd has offered to have puppy for a weekend or if we want to go on holiday. The gc looking forward to it. It’s good to have back up.

It reminds me you can always get a dog walker or send the dog for day care if it all becomes a bit much. Not cheap however and you do need to check credentials of the provider.

25Avalon, we are smitten with our boy. He’s so bright and keen to please that training is enjoyable. He’s still a giddy pup and will need a lot on input to help him curb his exuberant greetings. Our training group re-starts soon. Good

You didn't mention the expense of owning a dog, so perhaps money's not an issue? If you can afford it, how about employing a couple of teenagers to do 7 days a week between them, to walk the dog, brush it and clean its feet afterwards, and clean up any dog mess in the garden? OK, that still leaves the hoovering, but if the dog is brushed thoroughly every day, shedding should be lessened.

Older relatives of mine had a retired breeding bitch of a small, non-shedding breed. I think she was six or seven when they had her. It meant that she was much easier than a puppy and did not require long walks. She was ideal for them. Puppies are delightful but extremely hard work so an older dog is often the best idea for older people.

By the way, Miniature Schnauzers are very popular where l live. They do not shed and tend to have a friendly, calm temperament.