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Anxiety and overreacting to noise

(40 Posts)
maryrose54 Fri 26-Mar-21 09:22:53

Just wondered if anyone else has this reaction. I have had problems with anxiety over the years, sometimes worse than at other times. Our new neighbours have small children and a new young dog. We never hear the children, but the dog is left in the back garden quite often and ignored when it whines to go in. This is just the other side of the fence outside our window. Of course it needs to go outside from time to time, I understand that, but the pitch of the whine really raises my anxiety levels, making my heart pound. Its got to the stage where I wake up wondering if I will hear it again that day. Keeping busy in the kitchen helps, as does listening to music or radio with headphones on. I want to say something to them but feel I will be seen as a miserable old woman as I don't believe that many people would understand.
It would be good to hear your different points of view. I should add that I do practise relaxation and mindfulness to help the anxiety.

4allweknow Sat 27-Mar-21 10:57:28

I would have to point out to neighbours their behaviour allowing dog to whine for so long. Do you have any other neighbours who hear it too, perhaps they would approach the owners with you, safety in numbers! Keep a diary to help identify times etc. to justify your approach.

harrigran Sat 27-Mar-21 11:12:01

I empathise, a whining dog is not pleasant to hear.
My neighbour had a dog for seventeen years and it howled every single day even if she just left the room.
I was climbing the wall and my blood pressure was sky high. One day a friend was visiting me and she was all for going round and telling the neighbour to get the dog some separation anxiety treatment.

maryrose54 Sat 27-Mar-21 11:57:43

Thankyou all for your advice. I will definitely take note of how often and for how long the dog whines, and then if necessary have a tactful word. I'm sure that some of the problem is my hyper sensitivity to some sounds, worse since lockdown and being at home a lot. After reading up about misophonia, as suggested by one of you, I do seem to have the symptoms. Nevertheless, if the dog continues to be left outside to whine I will talk to the neighbours.

leeds22 Sat 27-Mar-21 12:02:33

One of our neighbours had a yapping dog in the garden all day long. I started barking back and I think she got the message.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 27-Mar-21 12:36:33

Parents get used to the noise their children make when playing, and dog owners do tend to do the same when their dogs bark or whine.

The trouble is knowing when to mention that these sounds of everyday living are unpleasant to you, and when not to, as mentioning the subject can lead to trouble with the neighbours,

I would try to meet the neighbour when he or she is out with the dog, greet them, then say directly to the dog, "Oh, you are a big softy, aren't you? I hear you whining go get in, as if you had been out for hours."

The owner might just take the hint.

Alioop Sat 27-Mar-21 16:11:57

I ended up moving house because my neighbours went out every weekend, even some weekdays boozing& then had ones back til maybe 4am partying. The whole time they were out their dog howled and barked, only stopped when they came back. I was up at 5am to be in work for 6am at weekends. My anxiety was through the roof, I lost weight, I was a mess. I spoke to them about it & they stopped speaking to me, so it made it all worse. I really feel for you, I dread to think if I hadn't of moved what I'd be like now.

Gingster Sat 27-Mar-21 16:38:31

For ten years we had two yapping dogs next door who were never walked and just left in the garden for up to an hour, non stop barking. It drove us crazy. I went round and politely asked them to let the dogs in. The wife was understanding but had recently had a baby and said she was too busy to see to the dogs. It improved for a while. After a few weeks it was bad again. I wrote a letter saying please respect your neighbours. I popped it through their door leaving my name . The husband came round that evening banging on the door saying ‘I’m not happy about this’ My letter in his hand and Continued to shout on my doorstep. Not long after, the couple split up and moved. What bliss! Apparently he was a nasty bit of work a d other neighbours had called the police.
Life is peaceful once again. Thank God.! It can really ruin your life so I completely understand OP feeling so anxious. Try getting the other neighbours on board and definitely have a word with next door. They are probably unaware of your feelings.

Summerfly Sat 27-Mar-21 17:37:15

Many years ago I had a similar problem. The young couple behind us had a dog. It was fine while they were home at weekends and evenings, but as soon as they left for work, the poor thing started barking and whining. This carried on all day until they came home. Apart from it wrecking our lives, the poor dog must have been in a dreadful state too. We eventually had a word with them and they promised to do something about it. It didn’t happen. Eventually we had to contact environmental health who sent them a warning letter. They still refused to accept it was making our lives a misery, so reluctantly we contacted EH again. The couple came to see us and verbally abused us. It was really distressing. They sold their house and moved on. I can’t tell you what a relief it was.
Please don’t suffer in silence, but more importantly the little dog shouldn’t be pushed outside and left. It’s so important to make your dog part of the family, not just leave them to their own devices. It makes for a very unhappy dog.

Starlyte Sat 27-Mar-21 21:00:55

Maybe they have double glazing, or maybe you could suggest, if it's a small dog of course, that they put in a cat flap, large size, for their dog.
If it's been going on for a couple of years, I guess it won't be easy to stop, but if it's recent maybe the dog will learn to stay quiet for his 10 minute pee pee outing! With a bit of luck...
I'm lucky in that I have a big garden and no neighbours for hundreds of yards, but I also let my dogs in when they ask...
Try talking to your neighbour if you can. I'm not too good at it personally.

Coyoacan Sun 28-Mar-21 00:17:43

Apart from other recommendations, taking vitamin B complex really helps me to lower anxiety and stress.

Boogaloo Sun 28-Mar-21 00:50:37

I went through a stage where noises really got to me. Even the sound the microwave made when it was finished made me anxious. I remember once a waitresses high pitched voice almost pushed me over the edge, and she kept coming back to our table to ask us how it was going. See if you need some magnesium or B vitamins. It helped me.

Also anxiety can make us hyper-vigilant. Always on the look out for danger.

earnshaw Sun 28-Mar-21 18:18:56

so agree, barking dog is like chinese torture, especially when it goes on and on, we live quite near a hospital and whenever an ambulance goes by with the sirens on several dogs howl like mad, , I think your only option is to speak to your neighbours, doesnt have to be confrontational , maybe they are not really aware of whats going on,,,, good luck

effalump Sun 28-Mar-21 19:34:48

Look into breathing techniques for anxiety And also vagus nerve toning exercises (YouTube is for these). I don't react as much as I also sleep a lot better.

DillytheGardener Tue 30-Mar-21 10:46:46

maryrose54 you’re very welcome for the advice about Misophonia. It made my DIL’s life a misery until a community community nurse gave her some sound advice. Exercises might ease that condition for you but the issue with the neighbours dogs needs resolving. It’s not fair on the poor dogs either.