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Anxiety and overreacting to noise

(39 Posts)
maryrose54 Fri 26-Mar-21 09:22:53

Just wondered if anyone else has this reaction. I have had problems with anxiety over the years, sometimes worse than at other times. Our new neighbours have small children and a new young dog. We never hear the children, but the dog is left in the back garden quite often and ignored when it whines to go in. This is just the other side of the fence outside our window. Of course it needs to go outside from time to time, I understand that, but the pitch of the whine really raises my anxiety levels, making my heart pound. Its got to the stage where I wake up wondering if I will hear it again that day. Keeping busy in the kitchen helps, as does listening to music or radio with headphones on. I want to say something to them but feel I will be seen as a miserable old woman as I don't believe that many people would understand.
It would be good to hear your different points of view. I should add that I do practise relaxation and mindfulness to help the anxiety.

Newatthis Fri 26-Mar-21 09:25:55

I am so with you on this. Barking/whining dogs are enough to drive anyone crazy and it would seem that the dog owners are completely oblivious to it.

Smileless2012 Fri 26-Mar-21 09:34:50

I would feel the same maryrose primarily because I would be worried and upset for the dog. If you can hear it, why can't they!!!

JaneJudge Fri 26-Mar-21 09:37:22

How long is left out in the garden for? It must be quite a long time if it causing you to be hyper alert about it sad

maryrose54 Fri 26-Mar-21 09:44:09

It isn't out there very long, maybe 10to 15minutes, although it feels like longer,but just hearing the sound begin makes me react. The reason I think that they don't hear it is because their living room is the other side of the house from their back door.

DillytheGardener Fri 26-Mar-21 09:49:21

Have you ever looked at the symptoms of Misophonia MaryRose54 ? My DIL suffers from this and apparently it is linked with with anxiety. In NZ she has been undergoing CBT and said it has improved tremendously learning strategies to deal with it as it worsened after she became pregnant and gave birth. I think she wanted to strangle my DS when he ate around her grin Hers was mainly around people chewing loudly and high pitched noises.

DillytheGardener Fri 26-Mar-21 09:50:46

15 mins is a long time to let a dog whine to be let in. I let mine in after a few scratches/woofs and they would wait a minute max

Redhead56 Fri 26-Mar-21 10:01:56

My mother had a similar problem she was upset because the neighbours had two German Shepherds in the garden. All day hale rain and snow drenched crying and barking never taken for a walk and no shelter.
My mother asked her neighbour to be more considerate to the dogs and their neighbours. Her neighbour who had grown up there and was no stranger was really rude to my mother. I think another neighbour got in touch with the RSPCA . My mother was accused of reporting them but it wasn't her.
The neighbours moved house not long after the incident.
I suggest you or a family member have a quiet word with your neighbours they maybe more understanding.

maryrose54 Fri 26-Mar-21 10:40:51

Thankyou Dilly, I will have a look at misophonia.
Redhead, I don't think the dog is being treated badly and they do take it for walks, just don't seem to hear it.
Thanks for all your comments. It helps to tell someone else and to realise that it's not me having unreasonable feelings.

Kate1949 Fri 26-Mar-21 10:43:46

There's a dog two doors down from us that never stops yapping. It's no fun sitting in the garden in the summer. I don't know how the people who live there stand it.

Casdon Fri 26-Mar-21 10:51:12

I think it depends on how frequently this is happening, and for how long. A dog whining in the garden for a while every day three or four times is an issue, but if it’s once every couple of days it probably wouldn’t be a problem for most people. I think I’d keep a diary to see how often it’s happening and for how long, so if you do need to raise it with your neighbors you’re on sure ground - but also so you can see if it is as bad as it feels to you?

Alexa Fri 26-Mar-21 11:38:05

I agree a dog's whining is intuitively upsetting. My own dog whines and whinges when he is over excited about toys he obsesses about, and I just have to remove the toys until he relaxes.

If the neighbour's dog is being left outdoors shivering in the cold and rain for too long you can ring the RSPCA for advice.

cornishpatsy Fri 26-Mar-21 12:02:23

My neighbour had a noisy dog that would bark continually when in the garden. It got so bad that I had a word. They were so apologetic as he was put in the garden when they were out thinking the dog would prefer it so had no idea it was making a noise. It was kept in after speaking to them.

Nezumi65 Fri 26-Mar-21 12:11:38

I would time how long you hear him for. It sounds as if he really isn't outside very much and therefore asking them to change their behaviour is just going to cause additional problems (& neighbour problems never great for anxiety).

Looking at misphonia and CBT may be a good move. You are more in control of your responses than asking neighbours to change and CBT would probably be useful for your anxiety in general - which can only be a good thing.

Of course if you time and find out he's whining for an hour then that's a bit different.

maryrose54 Fri 26-Mar-21 12:21:15

I looked at misophonia and it does describe the reaction I have, although misophonia seems to be most commonly associated with eating sounds. Just reading about people having the reactions I have has helped me. I don't want to cause upset with the neighbours but will keep note of how long and how often, even if just to show myself that it isn't as often as I feel it is. Thankyou all for your supportive comments.

Kate1949 Fri 26-Mar-21 12:25:57

maryrose I think whether a person has anxiety or not, listening to this dog would make anyone upset and anxious. The owners are inconsiderate.

Baggs Fri 26-Mar-21 12:38:09

Maybe get some noise-cancelling headphones.

lemsip Fri 26-Mar-21 13:48:05

you need to tell your neighbour, they need to know their dog whines for 15mins when it's outside. You don't need to look up 'your problem.' the problem is the neighbours. This would cause a nuisance to any one

This should not cause a problem if told in an okay way. they may be unaware as you say their living room is the other side of house.

PJN1952 Sat 27-Mar-21 10:43:05

I had a problem with a new pup at a neighbours house. It was put out at 6.30am for half an hour every morning.... barked and barked. I wrote a note to the owners to point out the problem who came round to say it was only a pup BUT they accepted the time was too early. I used a chart to monitor times when the dog was barking as Environmental Health need details if you make a complaint. As the dog got older it settled down so I didn’t complain in the end. Don’t put up with this: someone is making your life difficult, causing you an anxiety.

Sheba Sat 27-Mar-21 10:44:21

So sorry to hear this, unfortunately you become super sensitive to sounds, waiting for them which makes you on edge all the time.

GoldenAge Sat 27-Mar-21 10:47:31

maryrose54 - if the dog is out for 10-15 minutes you can hardly complain - in the grand scheme of things it's no time at all. However, if the dog is out for 10 minutes every hour then you should bring it up with the owners/neighbours. You might also try talking to the dog over the fence, this might calm you down as well as the dog, and finally, if you recognise that you have suffered with anxiety for a long time why don't you see a counsellor/psychotherapist who will help you find the cause of this underlying condition and develop some strategies for coping. You will have a better life if you can reduce it.

Floradora9 Sat 27-Mar-21 10:51:10

We had a barking dog behind us I eventually lost the rag and banged on the fence , When someone came over I told them to shut their dog up . Not exactly polite but it sure worked. Another neighbour had a troblesome dog and someone contacted the dog warden . They were issued with a notice that they would have to give up their dog if this continued.

Clevedon Sat 27-Mar-21 10:52:06

We have recently moved to a lovely house in the country and our neighbours have a dog that every time it's left alone which is Mon to Friday barks and whines for at least half hour. Drives me crazy! After a couple of days of barking for over a hour, I went next door and told them. It's not acceptable. It's actually against the law for a dog to bark for longer than 10 mins with a £5000 fine. We don't want to fall out with our new neighbours so am hoping it's due to lockdown and not being left alone. Time will tell

WhiteRabbit57 Sat 27-Mar-21 10:53:52

We had two dogs left outside all day in a neighbour’s garden for months. They howled and whined as well as continuously barking.

I called the council and reported it, in confidence, saying it was really getting me down. They sent a noise nuisance letter to the owners of the house and the dogs were sent to live with his parents who were home all day and could look after them, unlike him. You could try that route.

janex Sat 27-Mar-21 10:57:06

I would have a word with the neighbour otherwise things won't change that is if she seems like a nice woman..she may not realise if she is in another part of the house.