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The Argy Bar and Tea Room

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Sat 27-Mar-21 20:16:59

Service as usual in the Argy folks but with the addition of our new roof top tea garden. In the words of the famous Basil Fawlty, no riffraff. ?

AGAA4 Thu 22-Apr-21 16:55:23

Thor will do anything for cash. The Admiral has volunteered for the Bored Housewives but I told him doodle has already recruited. Phew!

Doodle Thu 22-Apr-21 20:16:52

I will go by the nickname of LP (as I can keep going for quite a while.......where do you think Sting got his Tantric sex idea from?)
So we are set up with male and female players for the honey trap and a box brownie (isn’t that the cake for the Tea rooms ?)
All we need now is sunglasses ?, magnifying glass ?, funny hat ? and a pipe.
Pussy Galore can lure the men into the sauna for May Hem to get her hands on.............do we need an underwater camera too ? ?

Pantglas2 Thu 22-Apr-21 20:27:19

Oo er, ?Doodle, I’m ok with mounting Stiffgits in my bedroom but luring men into a sauna is a different kettle of fish ? - my bait ain’t wot it used to be...?

ixion Thu 22-Apr-21 20:30:56

The water will be far too murky for an underwater camera- jet has already warned about stuff 'floating about'...

I have found my old tape recorder, 'tho'.
We could rig it up with a couple of microphones, concealed in that plastic ivy we have decorating the edge of the hot tub.

brook2704 Thu 22-Apr-21 20:54:59

Looks good ixion?
Looks like AB12 is almost ready to go, maybe we need some flyers advertising our services and .. oh hang on a minute there’s our first client already
Right let’s go .. first mission - code name Cupcake ?️‍♂️

grandmajet Thu 22-Apr-21 22:19:24

Oooer! Are we putting bugs up in the cupcakes? ? I’m not sure the tearoom customers will like that!, or have I missed something? ?

Doodle Thu 22-Apr-21 22:38:10

Psst.....grandmajet slip Pants a couple of chicken fillets to boost her.....assets.
brook I’ve left my specs in the Argy. Who are we following, the giant elephant with the big ears or the fluffy gorilla in a suit ?

brook2704 Thu 22-Apr-21 22:46:56

Under surveillance now....

brook2704 Thu 22-Apr-21 22:49:58

We’ve roped in Gnasher to help too...

grandmajet Fri 23-Apr-21 15:43:36

Gnasher will blend in anywhere, won’t he?
I’ve boosted pant’s assets with chicken nuggets - that was what you said, wasn’t it, doodle? She looks a bit lumpy now. She’s being chased by a young man with a bottle of ketchup.

AGAA4 Fri 23-Apr-21 16:09:59

Thanks brook this looks like a juicy one. Mrs Green convinced her husband is at it behind her back has just found him in the dining room shot with the revolver. Tearfully she asked "I have no clue..do you?

Can someone tail Miss Scarlet? I think she is a likely suspect.

ixion Fri 23-Apr-21 16:20:00

Our May is doing a phenomenal job, what she doesn't know about honey trapping you could write on the back of a proverbial postage stamp.
Tally thus far -
1 local councillor
1 Mayor
The Admiral - but he doesn't count and I told her to put him back
Extras -
1 credit card, which Fingers Freddie is - er- processing . His words.
1 Mayoral chain, which the meeja studies laddie from the Run Down Reporter is coming over to photograph, as modelled by May Hem
Numerous candid shots caught by the AB-12 box brownie.

Sadly, the mike in the ivy needs a rethink.... Those llamas will eat anything.

ixion Fri 23-Apr-21 16:22:32

MOG.
It's Rich Reggie at the desk, all over May (and I don't mean metaphorically?‍♀️)
What to do????

AGAA4 Fri 23-Apr-21 16:27:24

Just say in a loud voice "Hello Lemon". He will run for the hills or his yacht.

Pantglas2 Fri 23-Apr-21 16:29:27

Oh lawdy, not only was I chased by that young man Grandmajet, he caught me? (I did have to slow down to make sure...?)

Sadly, he took the fillets home to make stir fry for his tea...afterwards!

AGAA4 Fri 23-Apr-21 16:31:06

Gnasher's disguise is very good. He is tailing Miss Scarlet and she has gone into another man's house while his wife is out.
What a hussy!

grandmajet Fri 23-Apr-21 16:42:38

Gnasher and I are following Miss Scarlet, for the Green murder case - we are undercover as llama rides - pant is dressed as a child astride Gnasher. I think we are heading for the OCG gun factory, may have to call for back up. Is hot tap available?

AGAA4 Fri 23-Apr-21 16:49:42

I am hiding in the privet hedge grandmajet. Scarlet has been in there for a while with the upstairs curtains closed.
A woman in a pink hat is going up the path. Probably his wife!
There may be another shooting. Can you and Gnasher distract her?
PS I think it was Mrs Green who shot her husband. AB12 working well.

ixion Fri 23-Apr-21 16:58:17

It's me in the high vis (don't shoot), disguised as a telecom engineer. I am leading her back up the garden path to inspect a telegraph pole which is inclining dangerously.

Can you get Scarlett out?

ixion Fri 23-Apr-21 17:01:19

Where's Ted when you need him?

AGAA4 Fri 23-Apr-21 17:05:07

I am throwing some gravel at the bedroom window in the hope that they may look out and see his wife. Scarlet can escape through the back door. I hope they are not too er.. involved to notice.
The wife looks like the shooting kind.

grandmajet Fri 23-Apr-21 17:49:49

Scarlett can hop up on Gnasher behind pants and they can gallop away. Thor is here to distract the pink hat lady from any murderous thoughts, meanwhile I’ll shin up the drainpipe and pop in through the window to look for evidence.

ixion Fri 23-Apr-21 17:54:49

Watch out for dabs on both whiskey tumblers, jet.
(Classic tip, that?)

grandmajet Fri 23-Apr-21 17:56:34

Is that you clinging to the top of the telegraph pole, ixion, it is certainly inclining dangerously now!
Have you been trained by X R, AGA, chucking stones at windows?!

grandmajet Fri 23-Apr-21 18:00:19

I’m in. Keep the wife out in case she shoots me.
I have photos of
a) rumpled bed sheets
b) two used whiskey tumblers. I have carefully stolen, er, borrowed, these.
c) the mirror on the ceiling. Do they do their hair while lying in bed? ?

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