The Argy Bar and Tea Room

Wow, everyone looks splendid. What do you think of my Easter bonnet? Don’t worry Pants I can’t win the prize as I’m ‘staff’. Sorry about your posh frock. I’m not too good at formal dancing.
Tables look nice. Lovely bunting brook .
Don’t worry about the sleb to open our tea room I found George in the cellar behind some vats of poteen. I’ve dusted him off and made him a strong coffee. He keeps saying grannyGravy kidnapped him and locked him in the cellar ......with her ?
ixion well done on the reporter coming.
grandmajet you must have finished your make up by now.

All we all here and ready?

For goodness sake George stop looking round for grannygravy, she’s not here yet, you’re quite safe. Now cut the ribbon ?️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍? ??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍??️‍?
✂️

Yeah. We are open. Come on gang pour out the bubbly and let’s get serving ????????????????????????????????????

brook hope the chairs are comfy. They were an amazing find. Just sitting fully wrapped outside that brand new hotel down the road. Fancy someone just leaving them there. Anyone could have walked off with them.....and we did ?

I have got the Palm Court boys to give us a rousing 'For he's a jolly good fellow', homage to GG.
But good grief, what has happened to him?
A shadow of his former self. he's aged 10 years in as many days.
grandmajet PLEASE stop your boys trampling over the dear little Easter chicks. Can't they see their feet?
Thank goodness we didn't provide Brook 's hot tub. All that slap make up floating in the water, quite unhygienic. Mind you if that's all that might've gone in, that's a relief.

Sandwiches and french fancies going down a treat.
Ditto champers☹️
How much have they paid for their tickets?
It's getting a bit like the student bar of the 70s in here.

pants that’s an er....amazing hat. It’s like a huge flying saucer very you. Let’s put you on this nice table here out of the way in the corner where you get a good view ?

£40 pp without champagne and £50pp with.
If we take off the cost of the alka seltzer that’s about £50 per bottle we’re making. ?

Doodle that’s not my ‘at - it’s the satellite ? dish so that we can watch ourselves on Sky news! We’ll be (in)famous by this evening.....hic ??

Ooh this champers has gone right to my head and I’ve forgotten all my speech and most of my manners as well! Can I apologise to every now to save me coming back tomorrow??

Ooooh I tell you what I’m having such a fabulous time, the sun is shining there’s champers on the table, a few sandwiches and french fancies left and the music has just started up again .. but there’s a very rowdy raucous group in the corner over there ... I don’t really know what they’re doing, can someone have a word please ..??

I just knew George would be a distraction?

brook that's the Admiral's table causing trouble. I knew we shouldn't have let him in. He is on his 4th bottle of champagne and also had several pints of poteen in the bar before he came up. He has brought some floozie's with him too.
I will ask doodle to have a word.

Thank you so much AGA the noise is getting quite unbearable now and I think someone’s actually being a little too amourous

Just one floozie sorry. Are we open till 6? I am exhausted already running up and down those steps with champagne and high teas and then serving low teas in the bar.
Sorry ixion just knocked you over in my hurry to get back up with my tray. I will help you pick up the sandwiches on my way down. We can just give them a bit of a dust. They won't notice.

brook we usually just throw a bucket of water over the Admiral when he starts getting frisky but not quite the thing up here. I have thrown a table cloth over them instead. That always works with the budgies.

Sorry, I got caught up in the Argy, quite a few ladies had ventured in there by mistake, and were enjoying the poteen so much - I charged them champagne prices; extra special cocktails, ladies! Bringing them up now for a sandwich and a few French fancies to sober them up.

They’ve decided to join the Admiral under the tablecloth. I hope he’s behaving himself.
I’ve brought a new batch of cucumber sandwiches and salmon vol au vent, distributing them round as we speak.
Some for you Pantglas?
Brook, vol au vent?
French fancy, anyone? Not you, Admiral! I didn’t mean that!

My poteen is very good. I added a few bottles of gin and brandy and a bottle of gaviscon. Quite strong if you aren't used to it.

Think he already has a french fancy grandmajet. She is the floozie under the tablecloth with him. Ooh la la!

All those stairs!
I could do with a Fit Bit right now.

Where is he?

We could do with a fireman’s pole, save a lot of stairwork.

Well I must say a very big Thank You to all the organisers, it’s been one of the most entertaining afternoons for ages. I’ve had an absolute ball, drunk loadsa champagne, enjoyed the luscious sandwiches and nibbled the french fancies. The Admiral turned out to be quite a hit with some of my girly friends and we’ve all learned some new sea shanties that we’ll be singing on the way home ...

Phew, plenty of clearing up to be done now, ready for the Easter weekend and hot cross bun day!
We’ve been so busy with the tearoom, we haven’t planned the Argy evening theme! Maybe just a quiet (?) karaoke night then. It’s hard work being in two places at once.
Bye, brook, do come back. We need your custom (and money)

brook we hope you’ll become a regular now. Your bunting was a big success.
Pants I’ve just seen you on the news in your hat. Very fetching.. just keep mentioning our name when you get interviewed and we’ll give you free bubbly for the advertising.
Nice of you to have our name embroidered on your knickers, the cameras certainly got an eyeful ?
AGA should we get a stair lift to help bring the food up. If we continue being popular we might need it.
ixion I think our first day was a success. Those chocolate profiteroles were amazing. Where did you get them from?
I’m really looking forward to relaxing in the bar in the Argy.
Has lemon woken up yet?
grandmajet is the Admiral still upstairs under the tablecloth with all those women? He may become an attraction, who would have thought ?

I think lemon has slept through the whole day, she does love that chair. Must be the musky llama pong.
It’s nice to get my feet up and take refuge in a pint or two of poteen.
Up first thing to make hot cross buns and simnel cake.

I think the Admiral may still be up there Doodle. I can hear thumping on the Argy roof.

Thank you Doodle I made sure I wore my lace trimmed flannel bloomers so that I could flash them over my head when we were doing the Can-can!

it fair reminded me of our days at the Moulin Rouge when Monsieur Aznavour came calling with the absinthe and we disgraced ourselves?.... but that’s our little secret and I shan’t breathe a word?

Ooh la la pants ?. Hope you’ll visit again.
By the way, the Admiral wants you to dine at his table next time. I think he took a shine to your lovely bloomers ?