Are you a people pleaser?

Generally No!
Although if a close friend wants to do something which I’m not keen to do, I will sometimes agree, as making them happy would make me happy.

On the whole I am a bit of a people pleaser but I am much better than I used to be at saying, ‘no’. I have a tricky situation with someone I know who keeps trying to get lifts to various places. She wants me to pick her up and take her to a club we go to. She lives several kms out of my normal way and I find it hard to refuse. Added to that is she is never ready when I get to her house. I just don’t really want to go with her because she is a bit of a nasty gossip for one but we go back a long way. I am even considering leaving the club.

No, I’m not, when I was much younger I most certainly was, but as I’ve got older I find it much easier to say no and mean it! In a nice way obviously, I was a giver and it got me no where as I found it was me giving a lot of the time and nothing in return, when I asked very small favour, much happier now

Instead of leaving the club nanna8 perhaps you could not go for a while.

I'm a yes person then I moan about it. When will I learn?

Over the years too many to list !
These days I have no problem saying "No" - simple as.
It's taken me decades to realise life is way too short to do anything I have no interest in. I also rather enjoy having the
confidence to say it, mean it and no longer a scintilla of guilt !!

Probably more a mug if the truth be known

I’m another that used to say yes to things automatically and be lumbered with stuff I didn’t actually want to do on reflection!

However as I’ve gotten older I’m more measured in my enthusiasm, find myself giving more polite noes and consequently feel so much better!

I started out being a people pleaser until I realised that I was sometimes being taken for a mug. Now I smile sweetly and just say no.

Don’t explain or make excuses as others can then try to push you into changing your mind. Occasionally someone pushes and I say that I don’t want to do it. A bit blunt but they can’t then tell you that you do really.

I'm very much a people pleaser. I have zero confidence and have never felt as good as other people so I go along with all sorts of stuff that I don't really want to do. Pathetic isn't it?
One good thing about lockdown is that I don't have to go to lunch etc with people I don't particularly enjoy meeting.
I've been in situations with all sorts of awful people because I didn't want to offend them.

Oh my goodness I am. Pathetically so and I hate myself for it.
Don’t get me wrong I am a a very strong capable person but I have this terrible feebleness about me that makes me want to appease all the time. I truly hate this about myself.

No never, went to a dreary girls school where we were probably expected to people pleasers (doormats?), never quite took it on board ???

Would you like me to be?

Only joking!

Not anymore, it took me until I was about 50 to realise and to stop trying.

I had a narcissistic mother so I grew up trying to please and never succeeding.

Hmm, there is something I help out at pre-Covid, I really don’t want to start doing it again, when we can.

Think I will simply say that I don’t want to re-join, but feel awkward.

Yes I'm naturally a people pleaser but life has toughened me up so I find it easier to say no now.

My trouble is I want people to like me even if I don't like them!

We went to pub quiz nights out for years. Initially with some friends and some new people joined the group. Who we didn't know and personality clashes started to reveal themselves. I decided to stop going as I didn't want to be in their company. How shall I put it? they were not my cup of tea.
I like down to earth people who I can be myself with and straight talking. We have a few friends we have known most of our lives. We get together (pre covid) when We can no pressure. We mostly retired same time and all have grandchildren now. We all support each other and we are like family. I like to be helpful and kind I do what I want to do if it pleasers others that's fine by me.

I used to be a bit of a ‘yes to everything sort of person’ but not any more. Now I please myself.
However I would do something I didn’t want to if I thought it meant a lot to family or a friend.
I certainly wouldn’t do something just to please anyone else.

A ‘people pleaser’ is such a negative term I liken It to a xxxx licker but I don’t see me as a people pleaser but I do very much try to help if possible I certainly wouldn’t be harsh enough to say ‘ I don’t want to do that’ I m not saying I d make up an out and out lie but I might bend things a bit to try and refuse kindly
I ve had someone refuse a gift once because it wasn’t to their taste and I was very very hurt so I don’t really want to be an advocate of brutal honesty I think a gentler way of refusing something is much better and doesn’t make me a coward

Very much so for friends and family I like to see them happy

After many years of finding myself doing something or being somewhere that I didn’t want, I realised that an awkward few seconds spent saying No was far better, and quicker than the resentment of spending the time and money. I still find it difficult though.

I have been one all my life. It’s been going on for so long that I barely know who I am and what I, ME, actually want!
Yes, it is a bit of brown nosing but if it keeps the family happy, stops confrontations, etc., yes I go for it.
I avoid situations where I have to meet people I don’t want, and be in situations that stress me out. I am a bit of a recluse; more so in the last year.
Pathetic aren’t I?

I used to think it was important to be nice to everyone and found it hard to wriggle out of things. The worm turned when I realised a couple of "charming friends" were just using me as an unpaid dogsbody when they were planning some event which would shower them in glory. My rule is if you want something done you do it yourself or hire someone in.
Nowadays I'm like you Judy54. I say "I need to think about it".

When I was younger I did fall in with other people's plans and expectations but I don't now. Too much of my time spent pleasing others and not myself.

A big NO from me,if i don`t want to do something then i don`t do it.
Family and friends know this ,so it`s never been a problem.