Romance scams.......would you be gullible enough.

It's very sad to hear about people losing their money in this way. I think there is a big difference between academic intelligence and emotional intelligence. Some people are bereaved and feel lost and alone despite having a good job or loving family. I used to feel that such victims should have none better but after listening to a couple of their stories I can quite understand how they got caught up with very plausible scammers.

I too was caught up in a scam when I joined an online dating site about 8 years ago. I was very vulnerable as I had just had a nasty marriage break up with my narcissistic husband.

I got chatting with an American soldier who posted several photos on the site. He appeared very caring and wanted to know all about my family. After about a month he said he wanted to marry me and be a good father to my kids. He befriended me on Facebook. I did think it was odd as when I asked him what star sign he was, he appeared puzzled saying he was the son of his father.

He told me he was caught up in a Nigerian war zone and if I contacted his senior officer he would get permission to come to the UK to marry me. I googled Nigerian war zone and up came an article about Nigerian scammers using photos of American soldiers and cheating women out of thousands of £.

When I contacted him on Facebook saying I knew he was a scammer, his profile suddenly disappeared as did his dating site profile. I count myself lucky not to have lost any money. But in all fairness to the scammed women, they do tap into your emotions when you're really vulnerable and you hope they are the "one."

Yes, scams have always been with us - and always will be. They adapt to the social protocols and technology of any age.

In a previous time when money was thin on the ground, and virtue was all, how many women were left pregnant and despairing after being persuaded into a physical relationship on the basis of a promise of marriage, which was reneged upon and they were deserted when they became pregnant.

Many a great Victorian novel is based on this premise and what happens as a result.

M0nica it must be horrible to watch this happen. How tricky for your sister.
Online or not, real people are likely to get hurt.

janeainsworth

Tim Harford on why people fall for scams. Men are just as vulnerable as women.
timharford.com/2019/09/we-are-all-potential-victims-of-the-con-artist/

Illuminating. We all have our vulnerable moments.

Tim Harford on why people fall for scams. Men are just as vulnerable as women.
timharford.com/2019/09/we-are-all-potential-victims-of-the-con-artist/

I agree Shropshirelass.
Look how often we see young, beautiful women coupling up with some wealthy man who is old enough to be their Grandpa. It’s obvious why!
As for these older ladies parting with their money to virtual strangers, I can only feel sadness for them. They’re either lonely or living in cloud cuckoo land.

It is not just women, there have been reports of men being scammed too. It is unbelievable to me and I wouldn’t part with my money for anyone!!

Notspaghetti I agree. About 5 years ago a male friend of my sisters, was befriended by a much younger foreign man he met at a club in London. Since they married he has been pouring all his money into building a house in the country of origin of his husband, supporting his family and investing in businesses for them.

My DS is afraid that eventually all his money will be in this other country - and when no more is available, the husband will just leave him. He already spends six months of the year in his country, leaving her friend, who does not like hot countries alone in this country.

No online scam involved.

one guy video called me after playing scrabble(i didnt know they could do that) . so me types in oh do you know sign language then .?), ,, end of ....

i used to play words with friends on my mobile . no more now . the men scammers on there are unbelievable. please send me money as i need an operation /pls send me visa papers/ you are beautiful/ lovely legs/i love you /you are wonderful/ my answer is oh yeah .. no money/no visa and no you dont love me you are a stranger ..maybe we can get to know each other via another messenger service . no thanks am only playing a game on here . then they get tough . i know where you live .really ??? i will come and get you . really without a visa etc? next is the delete button ...

Despite my profile on Facebook clearly stating that I am married - with a link to my husband's profile - I still get several message requests a week from men supposedly around my age. Fortunately they are usually innocuous on the lines of "hello dear how are you today" - some of my younger friends on FB have been sent dick pics and even dirty videos (obviously in those cases they report the profile). I just block the person and delete their message for the ones I get. What on earth makes people think they can message a random stranger on Facebook and get a reply? Are some people really daft enough to reply - don't answer that one, as the answer is clearly self-explanatory.

I do feel sympathy for the victims but I really wish these women and men would be a bit less naive about so-called romance scams. If everyone was a bit more sceptical about falling for the wide variety of internet and phone scams, there would be less scammers about. They exist because people fall for their schtick, unfortunately.

Fernhillnana

I do think the banks are a bit culpable in this. Surely they could have a system that noticed unusual activity in accounts like this one?

Banks do flag up any unusual activity and contact you to confirm the transaction, I regularly get texts to confirm payments.
After they have contacted you and explained the risks, if you say “pay it” it will be paid, its your money and they will obey the instruction.

My great uncle was scammed, my family believe.
He was "persuaded" that a young widow loved him. He was elderly, infirm, and his wife had recently died.

It was in the 60s. He married this young woman and was dead in about a year. She married another elderly gentleman before long.

Whilst online scams may be what we are talking about here, there has been similar things going on in "real life" forever.

I do think the banks are a bit culpable in this. Surely they could have a system that noticed unusual activity in accounts like this one?

I have a lot of sympathy for those who are scammed. The people doing it are very skilled and experts at knowing just how to go about it. I’m sure lots of people are not taken in but I can j def sat down how those who are targeted are often vulnerable which is why they are taken in. It’s very easy to say it couldn’t happen to me, it in their situation it could well be. The scammers are the ones we should be condemning, not those that are the victims.

Millie22

Never
but loneliness is often the reason behind these scams and that's really sad. There seem to be an awful lot of eligible men in Nigeria!

Or the same "eligible" men many times.

Never
but loneliness is often the reason behind these scams and that's really sad. There seem to be an awful lot of eligible men in Nigeria!

I think they are possibly naïve and have not read abut them before. I wouldn't trust any man that was not my husband and even then it's sometimes dubious.

I think we all think we wouldn't be vulnerable to such things but do we really know how we'd react if all of a sudden we meet someone who we fall for and seems perfect and gives plausible reasons for whatever. I sincerely hope I wouldn't fall for such a con but how can we really tell?

I think the banks should do more to stop this kind of thing. I'm surprised her bank didn't contact her to say there had been suspicious activity on her account when she was transferring huge amounts. I feel desperately sorry for this women who was, as she said herself, not in her right mind when all this was going on. How these conmen can live with themselves beggars belief. Pure evil!

Annaram1 you would of course, been one of many, just don't be flattered because that's what their remit is.

Now, I consider myself pretty astute and yet I succumbed to a scam a couple of months ago. No, not the type on here right now but a scam nonetheless. Luckily one of the ladies on here put me right and quickly enough for me to have my bank sort it out. I no longer 'cannot understand' how people can be fooled. I'm thoroughly chastened.

I wasn't taken in when someone tried it on me but a dear friend was. He has lost a huge amount of money (enough to affect his life). He's not a stupid man. In fact, he's incredibly intelligent but the scammer worked on him for a long time before money was mentioned and by that time he was groomed and taken in.

There might be someone reading this thread who has personal experience of this cruel type of scam.
Easy to say we wouldn’t fall for this but plenty of people do. Heard today on R4 about two UK support groups run by Victim Support in Sussex and Humberside for anyone who needs it.