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Beswitched Tue 06-Apr-21 09:50:28

I used to post on mumsnet but have not been a member in some time. I went on to AIBU out of curiosity over the weekend and was astounded at how aggressive and unpleasant it has become. It was never a bed of roses but the number of rude, foul mouthed, hurtful and nasty posts was quite shocking. I know you can occasionally run into a sharp tongued poster on Gransnet, but I have never seen any of the really nasty posts or spiteful ganging up that seems to be prevalent on mumsnet nowadays.

Really shocking to think some of these posters are raising the next generation.

timetogo2016 Tue 06-Apr-21 09:54:20

I stopped going on mumsnet for that very reason Beswitched.
The language was un -believable,as was the attitude of many.

simtib Tue 06-Apr-21 10:04:04

I have noticed that when people think they are anonymous their true character shows through and it is not always a nice one.

Calendargirl Tue 06-Apr-21 10:08:17

I only found out about Gransnet from looking at Mumsnet occasionally, but never joined MN. Just assumed I was too old, it looked more for young mums I felt.

GN seemed a much better fit for me.

EllanVannin Tue 06-Apr-21 10:20:21

I'd never go on mumsnet for fear of telling them all off grin
I can't be doing with the present generation at the best of times thinking they know everything and know nothing !
No wonder there are so many " feral " children/ teens about.
Not my idea of the way of life.

Galaxy Tue 06-Apr-21 10:26:41

I find GN much more aggressively personal than MN. There is more swearing in MN but that doesnt bother me at all.

Redhead56 Tue 06-Apr-21 10:27:49

I found there was always enough bitching going on at the school gates. Now it's on mumsnet obviously too much time on their hands I was always too busy working.

JenniferEccles Tue 06-Apr-21 10:28:45

I had exactly the same opinion when I looked at that site years ago after having seen it mentioned in the paper.

Yes the swearing is dreadful. It seems that every other post is littered with obscenities and the occasional poster who commented on the language was greeted with a flurry of predictable f..... offs etc.

It’s probably ok for non confrontational subjects like the best baby equipment to buy for instance but other than that it seems as if everyone is trying to outdo each other on the nastiness scale.

Cherrytree59 Tue 06-Apr-21 10:36:09

I actually discovered Mumsnet after finding gransnet.

I usually avoid AIBU threads.
But have found the coronavirus section very informative.
Plenty of mums with either scientific or statistic background.

Legal section and also the school including SEND section has been very useful.

Galaxy Tue 06-Apr-21 10:39:41

Yes I find them very knowledgeable on legal issues in relation to women, and knowledgeable on political issues.

Cherrytree59 Tue 06-Apr-21 10:41:23

Ps I disagree re the nastiness.
I think that is usually reserved for the AIBU.

There is a good Cancer and terminally ill section that is extremely supportive.
The mums have been supporting each other through lockdown

There are several regional sections including Scotsnet.
The posters on there provide information for their areas and support each other.

Beswitched Tue 06-Apr-21 11:04:05

Sorry I should have made it clear in my OP that I was talking specifically about AIBU.

Ilovecheese Tue 06-Apr-21 11:27:20

I feel rather the same as Galaxy about Mumsnet aibu. The swearing doesn't bother me at all and there do seem to less unpleasant personal remarks towards other posters than on this site. Perhaps because of the larger membership.

AmberSpyglass Tue 06-Apr-21 11:45:57

MN are so horribly transphobic. Tbh I probably shouldn’t even be giving GN my time or page views since they’re owned by the same people.

suziewoozie Tue 06-Apr-21 12:03:19

It’s a clearly understood ‘rule’ of MN that anything goes on the AIBU and you don’t post on it unless you can take it. The big advantage of MN is its size and huge range of experience and expertise. Any health or medical issues receive wonderful advice, help and support from a much wider base than is available on GN. Two years ago I was so helped through a particular health issue which included surgery and recovery. It was something quite unusual but the size of MN meant I found several people who’d experienced the same thing. And they managed all that help and support without one swear word JE
The coronavirus threads are generally great and last year I learned a lot about understanding the statistics around the virus. There are some seriously clever MNers.
It’s also far less personal as it’s so big. On GN there’s evidence of personal grudges being harboured which colour responses to just about anything in some cases. Swearing is often far more honest and acceptable than some of the snide comments posted on here.

PippaZ Tue 06-Apr-21 12:12:01

Beswitched

I used to post on mumsnet but have not been a member in some time. I went on to AIBU out of curiosity over the weekend and was astounded at how aggressive and unpleasant it has become. It was never a bed of roses but the number of rude, foul mouthed, hurtful and nasty posts was quite shocking. I know you can occasionally run into a sharp tongued poster on Gransnet, but I have never seen any of the really nasty posts or spiteful ganging up that seems to be prevalent on mumsnet nowadays.

Really shocking to think some of these posters are raising the next generation.

I think you could find that you are shocked that some of the posters on here raised the last one - but at least that would give you an answer as to why Mumsnet is the way you find it.

PippaZ Tue 06-Apr-21 12:13:45

last one last generation

silverlining48 Tue 06-Apr-21 12:28:24

I looked at MN a while ago and was astonished at how quick people were to encourage posters to go no contact with their ‘toxic’ parents. Rarely was it suggested that the poster might try and work things through, discuss, look at it from the parents viewpoint. It was a real eye opener.

Susiewong65 Tue 06-Apr-21 12:33:21

I really worry for today’s children if these are their parents, a really horrid bunch !

Alegrias1 Tue 06-Apr-21 12:36:29

I have a Mumsnet login but I rarely use it.

I go and look at Scotsnet sometimes, just for the fun of it. People who think GN is an echo chamber should take at look at Scotsnet.

However at least you know where you stand. Much less of the "some posters" business.

Beswitched Tue 06-Apr-21 12:36:48

Yes the go nc advice can be quite casually thrown out on mumsnet.

I haven't been on gransnet very long but have found posters to be generally courteous and measured in their responses.

I think the falling out with someone on a thread and that being carried forward to other threads happens quite frequently on mumsnet. I have often seen horrible snide comments relating to previous threads being used to undermine a poster.

suziewoozie Tue 06-Apr-21 12:40:35

silverlining48

I looked at MN a while ago and was astonished at how quick people were to encourage posters to go no contact with their ‘toxic’ parents. Rarely was it suggested that the poster might try and work things through, discuss, look at it from the parents viewpoint. It was a real eye opener.

On GN see many posts that are incredibly critical of the younger generation, especially young women, and never look at issues through their eyes - especially D-i-Ls😀

JustMe Tue 06-Apr-21 12:41:52

I have been a memberof MN for a very long time, there are a couple of niche threads I go on regularly and we all know and respect each other a lot.

Quick question.... does GN let you namechange? (I am new here so I don't now) Because I think that is the problem with MN...

Galaxy Tue 06-Apr-21 12:53:00

I think name changing is really helpful to many people on MN. Those who are in abusive relationships etc. I think there would be less personal attacks on GN if name changing happened more frequently. Saying that I can never be bothered to name change grin.

JustMe Tue 06-Apr-21 12:58:28

I think it is helpful in those circumstances, yes, but only in those. And should be done in a some sort of approved way by the Admins.
MN is the only forum I've ever known that you can change your username.
Unfortunately it is used time and time again to troll other posters, as I know to my cost. There are posters who literally NC continually for all the wrong reasons...