Books of Condolence

I like seeing the flowers people have left. It somehow represents what the nation is feeling, and as only those who are nearby can lay flowers, it helps those of us who aren’t near enough to do it.

I said to DH that the gardeners at Windsor castle would be be glad to have the flowers for the compost heap!

I would have signed the book, in our church we were going to have sheets that were going to be collated by the Diocese of Norwich. We aren’t allowed to have one now and have to go on line so I don’t think I will bother. A local record somehow seems more meaningful to me.
We have sorted out the table in the church and left candles for villagers to light so they can pay their respects if they wish. I hope they do. We have plenty of candles.

I remember going to the American Embassy to sign the book for Bobby Kennedy. Don't think I've signed one since.

Many people want to do something when someone dies. Either leaving flowers at a roadside, or a message in a book of condolence, even if we didn't know that person. It is what makes us human.

Fair enough MOnica

Calendargirl

I think people want something visible to see. Not on a personal basis, but to physically, to show how the community as whole feels.

It’s different though MOnica, you sending flowers personally to a bereaved friend, to her home, as opposed to leaving a bunch of flowers on a pavement or roadside, for people you have never met.

Just my personal viewpoint, wouldn’t do for us all to think the same.

I think people want something visible to see. Not on a personal basis, but to physically, to show how the community as whole feels.

Last week a dear friend lost her husband. I sent her flowers as a sign I cared about her. I could have given money to charity - and probably will at a remembrance service , when it is possible, but flowers are a tangible expression of grief and concern.

I'm sure a book of condolence is comforting for a family to read after the funeral is over. That's the time when they are left to face life without their loved one and to know others cared must help. In the case of Prince Philip and other famous people there will be historical significance in years to come.

Nothing wrong with florists benefitting MOnica, I just think what a waste to see cellophane wrapped flowers left at roadsides or similar, no water, just wilting away.

The money spent on them could benefit a charity, which is why the RF have asked for donations instead, plus avoiding gatherings in the pandemic also.

It is a way of showing that something has stirred up a deep emotional response.

In previous generations many ordinary people would wear black, at least until the funeral, and even longer. They might wear a blackband round a coat sleeve for a year.

We do not go into mourning these days. It is even worn less and less for funerals. Death is something we are not comfortable with and we just want to sweep away the remnant of those who died as soon as possible. Those who grieve must hide it.

Each to his own. I loathe seeing masses of flowers from people I always think it takes away from those close too.
But writing something down as a collective for those close to is maybe more appropriate.

Why shouldn't the florists benefit? That is what they are there for. Most of their sales are to people wanting to commemorate someone or something

You may as well sign an online book as leave flowers. I know they have asked for charity donations to be made instead if desired, which makes sense.

The only people to benefit from flower laying are the florists.

My husband has signed the book. He wanted to express his condolences to the Queen and the Royal Family. He met Prince Philip as a young athlete and was impressed and inspired by him.

HurdyGurdy I agree, particularly an online ‘book’. Thousands of people will put their names to it and what then? It is different for a family such as Peasblossom with personal memories and makes complete sense. The people signing for Prince Philip, will in the main, have never met the man.
If they feel they must do something, a donation to a charity would be a better move.

I think people do get comfort from an acknowledgment of their loss. Personally, even with a public figure, I think a book of condolence is a private thing.

When his mother died, my son-in-law had a book where we all wrote a happy memory of a time we spent with his mother. It was a record of her life and quite a revelation some of the things she got up to!

He and I do read it still and it keeps her with us.