Grandmothers; indulge me please

My Grandma, my mother’s mother, was Lil. A short, stormy, typical souf London woman, stringy as a bean, daughter of a deep sea fisherman.

She had been a lady’s maid to the daughters of a great man, the Ambassador to a part of pre-revolutionary China, and those girls must have loved her dearly for they kept in touch, with little, thoughtful gifts until she died in 1966.

Lil married a soldier, Jim, a dashing lancer during WWI but, after demob, when he was a tram driver, he had a ‘wife’ at both ends of the tram line, and my Grandma, and her two kids, eventually lost out and he moved to Camberwell with the other woman, who had several aliases, and a son by her tram man!

The best example I can give of how she was is about 1960, me aged about 9, my cousin 18 months older. “pop dawn the shop and git me ten woodbines would you dear” of course my cousin has to pipe up “cork tipped or plain, Gran?” we got chased out of the house with the broom, but of course did buy her fags !

Sorry to hear of your loss, my Mums mum died 20 years ago and it still hurts! She was a real homely person (unlike my mum), family ment everything to her. She used to cook wonderful meals and cakes, her pastry was the best, not sure how she made it. She spoilt my sisters and I and my 3 cousins with so much love and attention. When I had my eldest 2 children she was thrilled to be a great Nan, my daughter was 8 when she died but she remembers her clearly. Precious times.

My granny was Welsh but moved to Liverpool when she married. I had to call her Nain which raised a few eyebrows here in Ireland. She came to live with us when I was a child. It wasn't easy. Our house was small and my mum found it hard sharing it with her mother. Nain was a strong woman, an excellent cook and expert knitter. She wasn't above running her finger along a surface and asking if it had been dusted! Poor mum.

I am sorry for your loss, FannyCornforth ?
It is a great comfort to know that she had a life well lived.

I don't remember either of my grandmothers. My paternal grandmother died before I was born and I only saw a photo of her a few years ago, one taken with my aunt.
I used to see my maternal grandmother most days but she died when I was 4 and I have no memories of her. She was a wonderful woman, by all accounts and beautiful as a young woman.
Sadly, I look nothing like her.

My mother drank tea out of a saucer too - it must have been the thing to do, she had excellent manners!

Sorry for your loss Fanny. My mother's mother died in childbirth having my Mum. Grandad remarried within a year to a woman who sadly gives me no happy memories. However, my ex-husband had a lovely Gran, so I will always smile when I remember her.

My paternal grandmother died just before I was born and her husband died just seven months later ( shortly after remarrying !). My maternal grandmother was a horrible woman. She was a bully and abuser of my wonderful, beautiful mother. I am sorry for your loss. You were so lucky to have her.

So sorry Fanny to hear of your loss.
My mum's mother was a darling and my own mother was just like her, quiet and so kind. I always remember going to her house in the country and her baking Irish potato bread and sodas on the griddle, the smell was heavenly. My dad's mum was a bit bossy, she was awful at times to my mum, a bit of a bully. I always had to call on the way home from school to see if they needed shopping and she always grilled me about school that day.
I was the youngest grandchild and the only redhead in the family, which they loved and at that time I hated, so I was a little spoilt by both of them. Plenty of pennies came my way.

How sad I am for the loss of your grandmother ,Fanny . Although she was a remarkable age, it doesn't make the loss any easier - my mum was 93 when she died. A good long life indeed but I still didn't want her to go. Her mum - my grandma - died when mum was 19, she had stillborn twins & died soon after so I never knew her. My paternal grandmother died when I was 3, she had a heart attack in the dr's surgery & died there. I do vaguely remember a plump lady in an old fashioned pinny, bending over the kitchen sink!

So sorry for your loss, Fanny. I am the other end of the scale. One grandmother died aged 40 in 1937 before I was born (Addison's Disease). The other one I only met once when I was 2 years old. We moved abroad and she died when I was 5 years old. Both grandfathers had died before I was born too. So I have never known what it is to have a grandparent, but I suppose what you don't have you don't miss.

So sorry for your loss. I was extremely close to my maternal grandmother who died at 93. We were together a lot, she came originally from Belgium as a young child to live in the East End. She was a seamstress and a very good one. I wish I had asked her a whole lot more questions when she was alive and I miss her every day. Great cook - loved my nans stew, cooked breakfast, thin chips and suet crust apple pie - all good healthy eating !

So sorry you have lost your Nan FannyCornforth at such an incredible age it's the end of an era. But one which you are never ready for. My Grandma would have been 98 now but she died in 2013.
I am trying to be as good a grandma as she was. I owe her such a lot for all the things she did with me as a child and for my own children.
I remember she had holiday clothes for decades. Salmon pink flares! I was always proud to be with them. They took us to The Lakes and Scotland and we go now with the GCs. I try to be as patient but can't. I now have some bright trousers for days out with the GC as a tribute to her.
Some of our Grandmas have been strong women to admire. Real family role models.
When she was in the home at the end they kept playing old music and she would say she wanted to listen to Ken Bruce. She never seemed old fashioned just timeless.

I hope your Nan is reunited with your Mum. It has been a long time to have lived without her daughter.❤
One of the ladies in the home said she had seen my Grandma's husband come for her and they had left with a golden glow round them.?

My Grandmother, Nan, was 98 when she died having lost her husband many years before and also her daughter [my Mum] too.
She was a butchers accountant, then farmers labourer, then retired selling plants,
She was a wonderful lady. So many relations and visitors turning up unexpected. Always a smile. Miss all those that have died very much.

My maternal grandmother was a kind lady who had polio and had been a year in hospital and was somewhat disabled. Since she had 5 girls and many grandchildren although she was kind to us all we did not live close by like the others did and so did not get to know her that well.
My paternal grandmother doted on me she had only my father and one girl had died at birth so I was spoiled by her but she died at only 57 due to a rare blood disease. I wish she could have stayed longer. She was a teacher and also owned some cottages and a store that she ran herself. A very independent lady for her time. This is a photo of me (age 3) with her (standing) and my own mother (kneeling)
both long gone.

Sadly I never knew either of my grandmothers who both died before I was born. I think I must have missed a lot, and find it hard to know how to be a granny now. My own mother was not a model granny, probably because she had never had a role model either.

My Grandmother was the stability in my life until she died when I was 11. Everybody found my sunnier sister much more attractive to me and my Nan was the only one who championed me. After a raft of men coming through our house, she said she was going to go for custody if my Mum's latest marriage broke up, which was on the cards. I had hope that things would change and then she died. I was devastated especially as her death was used manipulatively from then on to get me to fall into line with my mother's wishes.
When I grew up, I realised that, actually, my Nan, as much as I love her and missed her, was as manipulative as my Mum and certainly wasn't an angel. My Mum was a product of her upbringing which was every bit as chaotic as mine, possibly more. However, if I could have her back, I'd be thrilled. All the lovely bits of her stay uppermost in my memories. She had many lovely ways, would always play cards with me, knitted and sewed us the most beautiful toys, would let me cuddle her and was my champion. I will always appreciate those things.

FannyCornforth Sorry for your loss.
I can’t speak about my grandparents as I never met them.

I don't remember my mum's parents because we moved to South Africa when I was a little girl. My father's parents alsomoved there from their farm in Brazil. They lived with us for a time in an extension built onto my parents home near Pretoria. I don't remember much about Grandad except that he always wore a white boiler suit and a black beret. Grandma was a cutie and we adored her. She used to make chocolate balls out of icing sugar and chocolate and they were lovely. Being a nasty little girl I once got a handful of mud and fashioned it into a ball and gave it to my brother and said Grandma told me to give it to him. The look of disgust on his face when he bit it gave me hysterics. One day there was a big argument between my dad and his parents. I don't know what it was about as they were all shouting in Portuguese. I do remember my Grandma called my father "You little worm" in English. My grandparents left next day and went to my aunt and uncle in Cape Town. My dad let the extension to an old lady. Grandma used to write to my mother occasionally. I did not see my grandparents for many years until I was 21 and travelling to England. Grandad had died and I visited Grandma in her care home. She gave me a set of cutlery in a wooden box which she had inherited from her parents. Grandma and dad were never reconciled. So sad. He died not long after I got to England. She died a little later. Both a big loss to me.
Fanny, I am sorry for your loss. Remember the good times.

Sorry for your loss.
We only saw mum’s mum once a year or less. She was a very elderly grandmother with a northern accent which I found difficult to interpret. She died a long time ago but she had become very interesting since I have looked her up on Ancestry,
Dad’s mum was a younger grandmother - only 43 when I was born. They lived nearby so we saw them nearly every week. I spent a week with her every summer. She taught me to knit and she and my step grandfather always came on holiday with us. She lived long enough to be attend my wedding and met her first great grandchild, my daughter who was born on her birthday. She was only 72 when she died.

I had a gran , who was your typical born at the turn of the century grandmother . Always had her hair in a bun , and wore a cross over pinny dress. My other was nan was more ' racy ' had a fur coat , and high heels dyed her hair, had a poodle called Penny and I once heard her say shit which at the time shocked me enough to remember it 50 years later !

I remember sitting on my maternal grandmother's lap, she died when I was six, but I can see a dress with buttons from top to bottom, and her hair in 'earphones', plaits wounds round & round her ears! I had my paternal grandmother for a lot longer, and can remember in my school years when I would go to her house once a week in my lunchtime when she would make a wonderful Cornish Pasty! She was a little lady, and very sweet, and I loved her very much. So sorry for your loss, but you have some lovely memories as I have.

So sorry for your loss FC my mother died a few years ago aged 95 and I still miss her. I had two lovely grandmothers. My dad's mum of Irish descent incredibly superstitious, and a bit of a gambler. She read the cards and backed horses. She spoiled me because I was a girl and she had only had boys. She died in her 70s. My mum's mum was stricter but a really strong woman who was there when you needed her. She was widowed in her 50s and went on to live an active single life. She loved holidays and flew abroad when planes still had propellers-before jet engines. She died when she was 90. My sons still remember her and the pottery pig she saved money in for them. Our grandmothers are still part of our lives even when they have gone.

So sorry to learn of your loss. My father's mother was warm and cuddly, she made the most wonderful cakes and date and apple sandwiches when we went for tea. She left me her heavy twisted silver necklace, which I had always admired. She died of womb cancer when I was only 8 and I really missed her.

My other granny had a title, and played the Lady Bountiful to the neighbours, leaving posies from her garden on their doorsteps if they were having problems. This was embarrassing for the bachelors living nearby! We had to live with her when my grandfather died, moving into her large house where my mother and grandmother fought about the most minor things. She would say to my mother 'such nice children dear, but QUITE undisciplined!'

You're in my thoughts FC.

One of my grannies, my fathers mother, died 40 years ago. But we had such a lovely relationship. I was adored by her and my grandfather. My parents were rubbish, but those grandparents loved me so much, and I them. I have lovely memories of my time with her.

She is my role model, for being a good granny to my grandson. If I love him, the way she loved me, I will think I have done a good job.

I never knew any of my grandparents, so therefore have no memories.

So sorry for your loss.

My Welsh Mamgu taught me the names of plants, how to knit, was always pleased to see me. She would tell me to see what was in the cake tin when we arrived. There was always freshly baked treats.

My other Grand-mother was more old fashioned - children should be seen & not heard. But she would send out to the local department store for dresses for all the girl cousins to choose dresses. Mum would say just choose one but Granny would say no take a few.
The boys weren't treated the same! Yet in her will were left the inheritance. None of us minded or even gave it any thought.