Grandmothers; indulge me please

My Nan was a flower seller at the London Law Courts. One of the original Eliza Doolittle. She raised us as my mum worked full time. She was quite hard, but considering she was 70 when we were born and had already raised 11 kids, it is not surprising.

She had some wonderful phrases. The one I remember most was the threat if we were naughty.

“ I’ll tan your arse so hard your ears will still be ringing next Tuesday”.

She disapproved of reading, and if she caught us with a book, would tell us not to be lazy. She was born in 1880 so had a very Victorian outlook.

I'm so very, very touched by all your kind words and emotive memories and stories.
Thank you lovely ladies; and all those lovely ladies long gone and forever in our hearts

Thank you for prompting these reflections Fanny. What an interesting and sometimes consoling thread.

I didn’t know any of my grandparents but it strikes me that my early-widowed grandmothers were complete opposites. Dad was his mother’s ’late surprise’ and she was possessive to the point that my parents got married secretly so she couldn’t prevent it! Mum’s mum was Irish with 10 children, mum the youngest, and really well brought up. All I can feel is gratitude that my parents met and thrived.

My grandmothers were amazing women. I wrote about them in my blog:
www.1950s.co.uk/post/grandparents

GagaJo

You're in my thoughts FC.

One of my grannies, my fathers mother, died 40 years ago. But we had such a lovely relationship. I was adored by her and my grandfather. My parents were rubbish, but those grandparents loved me so much, and I them. I have lovely memories of my time with her.

She is my role model, for being a good granny to my grandson. If I love him, the way she loved me, I will think I have done a good job.

I'm sure you will Gagajo
It sounds as if your relationship with your gran was similar to mine.
I so miss her.

I'm sorry to read of your loss, Fannycornforth. You are so lucky to have had a loving Nanny. I was born to older parents who were the youngest of big families, so my Grandparents were long gone; I often wondered what it might have been like to have 'another Mother' as it were. You must have so many happy memories of her - hang on to those. xx

My maternal Grandma brought me up, as my parents separated before I was born. They divorced when I was 7, but I never met my father. My Grandma was very stern, but she had already raised 7 children of her own, and my Grandfather had not worked for many years. Grandma worked, as well as all the cooking and cleaning Grandad taught me to read. Grandma taught me to knit and crochet. She also tried to teach me tatting and lace making, but I had poor eyesight even as a child ( I am now partially sighted, and have limited vision in one eye only). My Grandma could do anything! She made rag rugs, gathered herbs and fruit to make medicines, jam and wine. She was a wonderful cook, and made her own bread, raised poultry for the table (the reason I would not eat meat) and was quite stern. I was a little afraid of her as a child, but we became friends after my Grandad passed away when I was 15 and I grew up. I was 27 when she died. She was an amazing woman!

I only knew one grandparent;my father's mother. She gave birth to him at the age of 47, she already had grown up children, and he was a menopause baby. I was born when my dad was 40, so she was a real Victorian. I remember her as a short, stout woman with lots of iron grey hair. She was quite capable of cuddling one minute but applying the wooden spoon to a backside the next. She died at the age of 93, having outlived her husband by 18 years.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Her soul flies free. I didn't know one of my grandmothers as she died when she was only 34. The other died at 67 when Iwas only 6 so so have no memories of grandmothers. You are so lucky....

So sorry for the loss of your Nan, FANNY. She sounds an amazing lady. A Nan to be proud of. It's good to know that there is comfort for you in these grandma memories.
My maternal Nanny was a tiny lady who was early widowed and had to work. She was a live in cook/housekeeper for one of the Rothschild sisters who welcomed us for visits with our Nan. My Nan had arthritis that eventually meant replacement hips, but she was courageous. On the tombstone is - Her Valiant Spirit Lives.
Now I have severe arthritis and I try to be like her. She was full of fun and laughter and we adored her.
My paternal grandmother was a different kettle of fish for whom I feel compassion now. She didn't make friends at all, and caused a lot of trouble between my parents. She and my Mum did not like each other, and Grandma lived with us.
I feel sorry now for her unhappy life = she ended up in a care home with what - in those days - was called senile dementia. My Dad was an only child so she clung to him when my Grandpa died. She was not a happy woman but was rather elegant and had lovely clothes. I liked to go shopping with her for my clothes when I was a child. I knew I'd end up with something I liked. She was a very good cook, too.

My two grandmothers were very different. Paternal grandma was glamorous and outgoing. Had ten children and worked hard on the farm. When they retired they took in a country club, photo shows her and Grandad at the bar.
Maternal grandmother very strict Methodist, we were quite scared of her but she was kind under the frosty exterior. Her one sin was having a flutter on the horses and when we stayed with her she’d send us to the bookies at the end if the road with her bets written on a piece of paper, wrapped around the money. She was a town grandma so a very different experience for us country bumpkins.

Couldn’t post both photos so here is fun grandma

So sorry for your loss, but how nice to have lovely memories to look back on, taken out and enjoyed later when the loss is a bit less painful.
Unfortunately both of my grandmothers died before I was born, one apparently on a Boxing Day. I have a few dim memories of one grandfather, who died when I was very young, and stronger memories of my maternal grandfather, who I was fortunate enough to still have until I was a bit older.

I don't remember much of my maternal grandma as she died when I was pretty young. She owned a post office and had a TV which we didn't at the time and I remember watching Crossroads on her TV. It always seemed a very different home environment to ours when we went to visit as you had to go through the post office shop part of the building first to get to the private living quarters which I remember seeming quite exotic and exciting to a young child. My paternal grandmother lived nearer to us and she didn't die til she was 98 so I have lots more memories of her. She had curly white hair and baked little fairy cakes for us, she was like a granny from a storybook. She always made me feel loved and special and important and I try to be like her with my little grandson. My own children also knew and loved this great grandmother and we still often talk about her. I have lots of photos and fond memories of her which comfort me when I miss her now. I have been very lucky to have been part of a close knit loving family. I hope thinking of your grandmother and remembering times with her will bring you some comfort too.

Hello there Fanny .
Sending you lots of love ♡♡♡
I never knew either of My Grandparents...they were born in 1877 Annie who died in 1972 when I was 7 and Susanna born 1890 died in 1927 when My Mum was almost 2 (I'm from older parents)I'm actually discovering info through doing Ancestory.
I've just become a Nana for the first time
Do tell us some more re your Nan when you are ready ♡

I loved my Nanna more than I can say and certainly, a great deal more than my mother, who had a tendancy to physical violence.

She was born in 1900 and died in 1986. I missed a large part of her life because of my mother but we reconnected a few years before she died (and after my mother died) and I made the best of it.

Abiding memory? Popping in on my way home from school and being handed a cup of fresh, home made soup "to keep you going until your mum gets home". I cook a lot of her dishes, have her secret cheese sauce recipe and will miss her as much in 20 years as I did the year she died.

She was my icon although I never got to tell her that. We were not a family given to expressions of emotion.

A year or 2 before she died, however, I had the mad impulse to write about what she meant to me and I posted it to her before I could lose my nerve. I know she got it but she never mentioned it to me. We lived at different ends of the country by then so seeing her was not easy, but always worth it.

My mother's mother lived in Denmark and we lived in Scotland, so I only saw her in her summer holiday. She spent a month or so with us every summer.

Daddy's parents lived nearer, but we only saw them rarely.
Grannie did not really approve of her foreign daughter-in-law (my mother) and there had been some trouble between my mother and her one sister-in-law (daddy's brother's wife).

We children never knew the ins and outs of it, nor were we told why the quarrel between two brothers' wives resulted in Daddy's sister and brother-in-law apparently siding with my uncle and aunt. This meant that as children we never saw our cousins or their parents until after the death of the aunt my mother had apparently offended or quarrelled with.

Sadly my grandparents all died before I was fifteen. I would have liked to have known them all better.

My maternal Nan was so sweet and kind. She had 11 children and 25 grandchildren, but had time for us all Such lovely memories going to her house which was always filled with family and l remember such lovely times with my cousins there. I'll treasure my memories of her forever. She died when l was 10 years old, but hope l am now the nannie to my grandchildren she was too me

Fanny, I’m sad for your loss, happy that you had her with you for so many years, and a little jealous, too.
I had only one surviving grandparent when I was born. My Mum’s Mum lived 30 miles away, and I suffered dreadfully with travel sickness, so I only remember visiting her a couple of times. Her parrot made more of an impression on me than she did. It terrified me with its screeching and sharp beak. I have only vague recollections of an old lady telling me and my brother to go and play in the yard.
Sadly, she died when I was 6, so I never got to know her.
Having a close relationship with grandparents must be a lovely thing. My children only knew one grandparent, too. My Mum lived some distance away, but the older ones remember her well.

Big hugs Fanny Cornforth, and thanks for instigating these memories.
Both paternal GPs died before my father and mother met.
My mum was the youngest of 12, born when Gran was 51, so she was an old lady when I stayed with her and step GP for a couple of years during WWII. Parents involved in "war work". I recall being bathed in front of the fire in the mornings and she used to urge me to "pee in the water" as she said it was good for your skin !! She, too, was a very good cook as I think most of that generation possibly were as everything was cooked from scratch. She always wore a hat outdoors, and the grocer used to pull out a chair for her whilst he served her. (Lovely smells in that shop) She abhored laziness and said if you had not done your shopping by 8.30 at the latest, then you only got the leavings. She was married at 18, and their relationship was a bit colourful. At one point GF had gone to the city for work and she found out that he might be philandering, so she piled all the furniture and children onto a horse and cart and went off to find that he was a singing waiter in a big hotel. She took on the licence of a public house and stayed in the city for the rest of her life. GF died when mum was 2 years old and Gran re-married about 5 years later. He was lovely and I remember him fondly, an ex regular soldier he had tattoos of ladies on one arm and he would tense his muscles and make them jiggle for me. Gran had glorious auburn hair that retained most of its colour till her death at age 96.

Very similar to you Fanny Cornforth my mum died early 50’s and her brother soon after so I was Nans nearest relative. We were close when I was young she minded us , took us on holidays and outings, lived to cook and went on foreign holidays in the early 60’s! - all the things a grandmother likes to do. It upsets me to think that my own children never knew either of their grandmothers and the joys they have missed out on. Hope I can be there for my grandkids but the time my children are taking to produce them I’m not sure!
Back to Nan she died age 96 also but it was a sad dementia end for her. Before that however We enjoyed our time together. Trips to the library and the fish and chip shop and how she loved to shop in Aldi well before the supermarkets rise to the heady heights of today.
I hope all you grandmothers out there are appreciated for all you do- i for one can’t wait to join you. Xxxx

Sending you all the hugs in the world.??? xxxxx

I never knew my grandmothers. My mother was adopted, and her adoptive mother died aged 46 when my mother was 16 and my dad's mother died aged 60 the day after I was born. My grandfathers were trash, so I drew the short straw on grandparents.

Sorry for your loss {flowers].
I was the eldest grandchild on both sides; and although, sadly, we lived a long way from both sets of grandparents, I always felt appreciated by both my grandmothers when we visited. One had had lots of sisters and preferred girl children; the other was especially glad of my arrival into the world, as she and her siblings had all had boys. This was just as well, as with my younger brother's arrival I definitely lost status with my mother!
They were both loving and generous, brilliant home cooks who made everything from scratch, made everyone who came to their houses welcome, and - unlike my mother who always felt threatened if anyone did anything differently from, or better than her - were lavish with praise for every small achievement their grandchildren managed. Because of them I can cook, garden, and have a bit more self confidence than might otherwise have been the case. Thank you, Gran and Granny.

My paternal grandmother had started life in service as a cook, so made the most scrumptious cakes for me every Friday after school.

We lived with my maternal grandmother, who was very little but still didn't mind a dumpy 10 year old sitting on her lap and asking her to tell stories of "the olden days"!

They had both died by the time I was 17