Parents of 4-year old transgender child - This Morning interview.

Total agreement Iam64
I had to switch the clip off after a few minutes as I was so shocked at the mother’s total “me, me me” and felt if she said “validate “ once more I would throw my tablet.
That poor child is now outed for everyone to know his/her story.
And the false sincerity of the presenters was absolutely sickening, I too have never watched the programme and now never will.

Not sure as to whether this story really is about the 'youngest' child feeling that they have been born in the wrong gender body. Several years back, when I was running big numbers of gymnastic competitions for recreational gymnasts, a parent contacted me about their child. Now, aged 7 years of age, they had been born with male genetalia, but had, from as young as two years old, identified as a girl.

The parents had just gone along with the wishes of their child and she had lived as a girl for nearly five years by then. Gone to school, etc. Problem was the birth certificate showed Male. No problem for me, I just told the competition organiser to change this entry from the boys to the girls - was not interested in childs name or club.

I do accept that there may have been more problems as this child started puberty.

One of my g.children at 13 years old said she thought she was gay. Well, that was fine by us, if that is how they felt. Within a year they had changed that to being transgender and wished to live as a boy. Again, this was their choice and we all went along with it. Now, nearly 18 years of age they say they are non-gender. I do sometimes have a little struggle with using what had previously been considered a plural pronoun (they/them), but apart from that no problems.

Their little brother, 11 years old, is very much a young boy - quite definitely, but does enjoy sometimes wearing a skirt as they like the feeling of it blowing out when they spin round. Why should he not wear this if he wishes?
First time he came round to me wearing this, he saw my look and said to me 'clothes should be non-gender based, Grandma - after all, YOU wear trousers, so why should I not wear a skirt?'. I was abashed at having to have this pointed out to me by a young child - out of the mouths of babes, etc.

Isnt it interesting that the people that say let them do as they they like would be the first to say in other situations ie behaviour, table manners, phone etiquette etc ‘little brats allowed to do what they want these days no proper parenting’
I think a child should go how it wants in toys, play and experience BUT kids changed and to have such a talked about situation is awful, kids clothes and hairstyles can be totally neutral without making a big thing of it the hairdresser congratulation the ‘little boy’ on his haircut awful
Whilst not discouraging in any way it should be kept neutral and never never have a tv interview about it all wrong on so many counts

Far too young at 4 to make life changing decisions on their behalf. There have been instances where transgender changes have taken place only for that person to regret it later on. Wait until they are much older and wiser and can make informed decisions for themselves.

Being transgender is so much more than a ' girl's being a Tom boy or a 'boy' pushing a dolly pram . When someone has traumatic surgery they are not changing their gender they are embracing who they are. I haven't seen the This Morning interview but not sure they should be Having said that other parents in the same situation may find it helpful.

Discussing such a sensitive issues when their child is not in a position to give consent.

Well that mother certainly has her five minutes of 'fame' now. Nothing like a bit of child exploitation to improve the ratings.

How can a two year old identify as anything other than a 2 year old?

JaneJudge

How can a two year old identify as anything other than a 2 year old?

If a two year old says “I’m a boy not a girl” why not just say OK and let child choose toys clothes etc without making such a performance out of it.

Clearly if child still feels the same but more strongly later then the issue would need addressing in a different way, eg informing school etc

Iam64

This ‘interview’ is my first (and last ) experience of the Good Morning programme.

Why do these parents think it’s ok to go on this programme to discuss their child in this way? The child isn’t able to give informed consent.

Absolutely, I agree with you Iam. What business is it of any of us? Everyone appears to have an opinion on it. It’s got nothing to do with us. The child is apparently only four years old. Strikes me the parents are attention seeking.
I don’t watch Good Morning either, and I didn’t see the interview.

Why are so many people so confused by stereotypes?

By all means allow a child to wear what they want, have short or long hair, play with what they want etc.
None of that means that they are the opposite sex.

The only reason that a 2 year old child would claim to be a girl/boy, when they are not, is that adults have told them certain things are for girls/boys.

This mother even says that they gave the child the choice of stereotyped 'girl' clothes and 'boy' clothes, and felt the choice of clothing confirmed the child really is a boy.

Oh god not again.

Our two year old GC is adamant they are four.

timetogo2016

Oh god not again.

Why not again?

No-one forced you to read the thread, or to post.

One of my GC (A boy) who is almost 4 years, often goes into the wash basket and finds himself either a dress or top and skirt that belongs to one of his sisters and will get dressed in it.
I have seen him in a dress and he also will put on a pink hat and TBH you would think he was a girl. I have once or twice said to him where are your other clothes because you are a boy, my daughter says leave him alone he is only playing.
Okay I do not say anything else as I would be told it is not up for discussion. Only about 2 months ago my daughter bought him a doll from that production called Frozen telling me he likes the doll and he wanted it. The thought has crossed my mind that maybe he could be gay when he is older, although I do not give it too much thought as he is still so young.
I did mention to my other daughter about him dressing in the girls clothes which she knew about anyway. I said he may grow up to be gay.
"Her reply was if he is gay he may want to be a drag queen and they get good pay for doing that" I was appalled at her saying that and now I will not even bring the subject up as both daughters think it is all okay.

3nanny6 Are you saying that you would be unhappy if your gson grew up and was gay? If so why?

Dressing up is such a wonderful part of childhood, and many children will dress up in heroes/heroines costumes regardless of their own gender. And that is so good.

People who are gay can have as many choices of careers/jobs as those who are not gay. They can have relationships and get married, and have their own families.

In some Societies in the past homesexual love was considered the highest form of love, with that between a man and a woman only necesary for getting babies.

There are groups run by local LBGT+ Societies for family members like yourself to attend and discuss your fears.

Franbern ; I have noted your reply and I am not homophobic
to gays/lesbians, I am rushing out to an appointment but will let you have a better reply some time later.

Aggie I totally agree that there are biologically different bodies and I think pretending there are not is ridiculous, but as to how someone chooses to dress, name themselves or do anything else in life, it is as fluid as they choose to make it.

We have some lovely photos of DGS dressing as a fairy when he was small, he is angelically fair and he looked lovely. Biologicaly he is male and nothing can change that and he dresses differently now.

The only reason that a 2 year old child would claim to be a girl/boy, when they are not, is that adults have told them certain things are for girls/boys.
Sorry this just isn't true. The parents I know are pretty unconventional and don't behave in stereotypical ways. Their child consistently insisted that she was a boy and is now always referred to as he. His sister is completely happy being a girl. I don't think this happens often but it does happen.
I'm not sure why these parents went on TV. The parents I know just wanted it kept as normal as possible and unsensational.

I am always uncomfortable with parents who like to parade anything unusual about their children in the media as if they were performing seals.

I often think it is more about the parents than the children. Do you remember Ruth Lawrence the girl with exceptional mathematical ability and there was a boy who was a precocious antiques expert? It almost always ends in tears and a child that grows up into an unhappy adult.

The child is 4 years old, has school ahead of him/her , so wrong of the parents , so very, very wrong

There appears to be confusion here . A boy wanting to dress as a girl is not a sign of being gay ! Or a girl dressing as a boy for that matter. If a child is gay he / she will know probably before puberty. A gay man / may or may not be effeminate. As with most things in life we cannot assume or generalize. People are who they are whether gay , straight , transgender , whatever !!!!! Times are changing thank goodness , still room for improvement - but getting there !

Iam64

This ‘interview’ is my first (and last ) experience of the Good Morning programme.

Why do these parents think it’s ok to go on this programme to discuss their child in this way? The child isn’t able to give informed consent.

I'm not sure why these parents went on TV. The parents I know just wanted it kept as normal as possible and unsensational.

I am always uncomfortable with parents who like to parade anything unusual about their children in the media as if they were performing seals.

Strikes me the parents are attention seeking.

I agree absolutely and with any similar posts.

Many years ago a work colleague told me that his friend and neighbour had a child, who was at birth, medically neither fully male nor female. The child was given a gender neutral name (F,,,,) and was a happy wee soul, until.......

At five there was a legal requirement to attend school. this brought up all sorts of problems re uniform, changing rooms/toilets classes i.e. PE where the children were split boys/girls. The family, who were 'comfortably off' but not rich had no choice but to pay for a private tutor and F was deprived of the opportunity to mix with other children of the same age.

Shortly after I left work to have my first DD, so have no information as to what happened next, but have always wondered what became of F, eg pressured to have surgery to become 100% male or female, had own choice to live as one or the other? I cannot believe that there was a good outcome from society's insistence that people have to be one or the other. Surely, being a human is the important category we all belong to. Gender, race, age, status, IQ are man made divisions.

Shelf life

So much misinformation in this thread, it is so sad