harry and megan

Well said M0nica, and it is the pile on of his comments, like turning a knife.
I wish it could stop.

It is funny that a family which has been wildly dysfunctional for generations is somehow venerated as the family ideal. Even a brief enquiry raises all the issues that have existed between parents and children.
What is even funnier is that the person who comes out and tries to break the cycle is castigated for doing so. It's a practically perfect example of the family scapegoat, with GNers sitting on the sidelines applauding the scapegoaters!

trisher do your own family tree, then accept the blame for things done generations ago.

Its not generations it's his parents. I dont necessarily think this is the best way of dealing with it but this was always going to happen.

trisher I don't think anyone criticises Harry for seeking help, and in fact most people applaud him for doing so, and understand the reasons why.

What is criticised is his making the whole thing a public spectacle and taking revenge for past childhood grievances. Yes, there are things he needs to deal with, but no counsellor would suggest he rush out of the therapy room and verbally attack the people he blames. Treatment should be teaching him how to handle his past, and how to move on.

Harry is not being castigated for breaking the cycle, as you state, but the manner in which he is acting as the family hitman.

When Archie is old enough to question why he doesn't know his cousins and other family members, and to criticise H&M for it, they will both come to realise that there is no perfect parenting.

I haven’t read all 21 pages of post.

Has anyone mentioned the show has been dubbed “The ME, ME, ME you can see.”

?

I’m sorry but washing the family dirty linen on the world stage is never going to make things better for either Harry or his family. Harry’s actions appear to make it all about money on the surface of things, but actually it probably isn’t just about money, it appears to be about some sort of revenge, which is unutterably sad for them all.

Anniebach No that's the point past generations didn't. Present and future ones can and do.
Galaxy The parents are as much victims (look at the history of what Queen Mary did to her sons), but they haven't dealt with it. So the child has to. Of course it was going to happen but I suppose the Andrew way is more acceptable- party, have sex with etc.
Sparlefizz have you got a magic ball? How do you know what will happen to Archie and his cousins?

Incidentally you are all lapping up his statements s he is getting exactly what you say he wanted- attention. Personally I think he's just a young bloke trying to do his best to change and normalise mental health issues, family disfunction, and the consequences through his public profile (which he didn't ask for but was landed with, so why not use it?)

Sparlefizz have you got a magic ball? How do you know what will happen to Archie and his cousins?

Because that's what teenagers do, trisher, they find fault with their parents, and they want the same as their peers eg. grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

Sparklefizz

*Sparlefizz have you got a magic ball? How do you know what will happen to Archie and his cousins?*

Because that's what teenagers do, trisher, they find fault with their parents, and they want the same as their peers eg. grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

You have said he won't know his cousins. You can't know that. You can't know what will happen in the future.
Of course he will find fault with his parents it's part of growing up, but that is nothing to do with him not knowing his cousins.

Anniebach

trisher do your own family tree, then accept the blame for things done generations ago.

Haven't looked at all this thread. Just want to say, you can't be blamed for what your ancestors did, but if you gained financially Anniebach what would you do?

trisher I don’t know, I couldn’t give it back . The wealth of the Queen comes from many, both her privately owned properties were willed to her, she is happy living in them, I wouldn’t give them up if they had been willed to me through
several generations down to my much loved father.

Would you take responsibility for the actions of previous generations of your family.

Off topic but Tony Benn didn’t give up his family estate even though he had another property and certainly cared about housing for the poor.

All who post here did not grow up in identical families

Lots of people, in their own communities, have a public profile - a doctor, a head teacher, a chief constable etc. They speak out on important matters, but very rarely do they bring in personal matters to make their point as professionals ot to gain credibility. And they certainly don't start unpicking details of their own family to bash them.

It is great that mental health is being talked about and hopefully people will feel more able to access help. I don't think that has to involve publicly blaming other people.

Harry and Meghan want privacy, great I understand that. Did the Queen want the world to know she bought her great grandson a waffle maker for Christmas? How about her privacy?

I just think the boundaries have got muddled and unfortunately it has consequences. I'm not sure that in the long run it will make Harry happy when he looks back on this. He was supposed to be close to Prince Philip, will he always feel comfortable about the upset this all caused when his great grandfather was dying? How does he feel about how his granny is being affected? I worry that this is starting a cycle where in the future he will have issues with the angst he caused people who love him and who he loves. It is too late to repair with Philip, maybe thinking about granny would be good for him in the long run.

Will Oprah be blamed one day for her encouragement in all this?

I most certainly would not be happy living with wealth or land that had been acquired wrongly. My conscience wouldn't let me, especially if it was to live a lavish lifestyle.

Nadateturbe, how far back in your family would you look at the wealth or land that had been acquired wrongly?
And what is ‘acquired wrongly’. Stealing? Killing someone? Learning to work the system? Building a monopoly to kill off competition? Claiming unjustified expenses? Winning a war?

Should all people look at their ancestors for potential wrongdoings and make restitution from their own current circumstances?

Mollygo big question which I wouldn't try to answer.
Those examples you mentioned plus acquiring wealth/land that was originally taken forcibly from the owners, being given over generous rewards for services, using slave labour, paying poor wages......

Should all people look at their ancestors for potential wrongdoings and make restitution from their own current circumstances?

Only if you have believe you may have gained substantially.

It wasn't the material wealth I was referring to anyway but the shocking treatment the RF dished out to their children in the past. It was horrific.

Excellent post this morning M0nica @ 9.39.

I certainly don't venerate the RF as an ideal trisher and haven't seen anyone here on GN or any where else for that matter, do so either.

I agree that unlike Bashir, Oprah doesn't need her 'relationship' with either M or H to further her career but still think that the correlation with her and Bashir is an interesting one.

"Will Oprah one day be blamed for her encouragement in all this?" a very good question theworriedwell.

trisher

It wasn't the material wealth I was referring to anyway but the shocking treatment the RF dished out to their children in the past. It was horrific.

I thought the Queen had a pretty idyllic childhood with parents who adored her?

It is funny that a family which has been wildly dysfunctional for generations is somehow venerated as the family ideal.

Really? since when? What Prince Harry has done is no different to what Edward VIII did - and he at least was the monarch, Prince Harry isn't even the heir, only 6th in line.

I do not think anyone was bothered by his decision to lead his own life, it had been on the cards for years.

When some pop star sells their story of a fairly normal dysfunctional background, most people turn from it in distaste.

When someone in the news skewers their whole family in an act of vengeance, most people turn from them with revulsion. This is what is happening here.

What is the "shocking treatment the RF dished out to their children in the past" that was so "horrific" trisher?

Churchill had a terrible upbringing with a particularly uncaring father whom he curiously admired enormously along with his frivolous mother whom he idolized. Children, particularly upper class children invariably had seemingly uncaring parents but didn't feel the need to trash them week in week out. Prince Charles, by Harry s own admission in 2017,had always been there for them and had done his best, born out by many photos of the three of them skiing, polo, bicycling, walking at Balmoral, and so on. It would now appear none of this happened,P.C was a monster father, the much loved at one time, grandparents the same, ditto cousins, brother and SIL, all these people were obviously it would now appear, quite appalling and have led to, and are an excuse for, Harry s seeming hatred for them. However much I had disliked my family, (I didn't) I would never have done this to them, even for megga bucks. We were all pleased to see Harry happily married, a bit sad that the wedding was only a spectacle for the masses, but there you go! and no one minded them moving away in order to lead their own lives and bring up their children as they see fit, but to constantly berate the family that actually love you for past misdemeanors in public, especially his elderly, one dying grandparents,and his poor father, who bankrolled them,walked Meghan up the aisle when curiously no one else could? grandmother who gave them a whole year to decide their future with the option of coming home and taking up where they left off, is, by anybodies standards just downright horrible.

The Queen and Princess Margaret had very happy childhoods. Their parents were devoted to them. George Vth was frightening father to his two elder sons, not so much to the others, but strangely adored the granddaughters! Edward V11th was a lax father allowing his children to run riot to the dismay of Queen Victoria. So they weren't all awful, Prince Charles certainly wasn't.

trisher who were the parents who dished out shocking treatment to their children, you speak of the royal family so you mean all generations of the royal family ? And what was the shocking treatment ?