Are you having the life you envisaged?

no - my husband died just as we were to finish our mortgage and do some 'things' and much as I love my children they have little time for me - they are not unkind just so wound up with their own families and things, so I suppose I did something right for them to be happy

Your not a tree you can move forward or sideways ?

Didn't want children and thought I would be a physicist.

Have two and I'm an accountant.

Yes and no really I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful husband and seven wonderful grandchildren but I didn’t expect my body to fall apart on me and have so much arthritis
Didn’t expect to be married twice or my once cute now middle age daughter to cause such problems in the family

Gosh - reading so many accounts of difficult lives and disappointment. Life is very temporary and is constantly changing. What has helped me most recently has been reading Ekhart Tolle ‘The Power of Now’. Also learning how to accept where I am in life.

I nursed my husband with dementia, Parkinson's and finally heart failure for a very long time. When I finally came to terms with his death in 2019, I had so many plans to keep my promise to him that I would have a happy life and fulfil some of the dreams we had shared. I did manage a trip to Australia and New Zealand, top of the list, but then COVID happened and all my plans dissolved overnight, so no, I am not living the life I envisaged but under the present circumstances I know I am not alone in this and I have so much to be grateful for, I try to stay positive and make the best of my present situation. This too will pass.

Honey rose I could have written exactly your post . I think you and I have been quite lucky!!

No. Boyfriend promised all kinds then married and nothing happened from promises. When he died I found out he REALLY was after other women for over 20 years of our time together, so NO not happy

Oh yes. I am in some pain …. But life is marvellous, so much better than anything I had imagined.

Things are all relative. For many years I had very little but found great joy in my cats and my garden. Having a car after being without brought much joy. Going for a coffee somewhere was a real treat. Now I have plenty and somehow there is not so much pleasure in it!

I don't think I ever had a plan, to be honest - or if I did, it has taken many detours!

I married in 1964, very young,not quite nineteen. I guess we always thought we would have children but careers got in the way and eventually we decided that we didn't want to give up our lifestyle. However, after seventeen years he suddenly, and unexpectedly, left me for another woman. I was heartbroken and it took me a while to get over it. However, I met another man, who was lovely and the complete opposite of my ex but was shocked to find I was pregnant. To cut a long story short, we married and had a beautiful daughter who has given us an equally beautiful granddaughter so I wouldn't change my life for the world.

No.

Not really. I didn’t think both of my daughters would be living in different countries. We have four Grandchildren who we haven’t seen for sometime now due to the pandemic.
We live in a lovely village with great friends , but some how there is a void in my life which can only be filled by my children - I have had some very sad days of late but try to keep up- beat

No absolutely not. Divorced at 50, now financially much worse off but happy to be free of ex husband. Just feel sad to have wasted so much time with him. I’d envisaged taking any grandchildren we might have on holiday in the future but that has gone now as I can’t afford it. I’ve had to increase my hours at work at a time when I’d hoped to be cutting down. My health isn’t the best due to long term conditions. Should have left him years ago tbh.

None of us are since covid came about.....??

Yes, I'm a Wife, Mother to 3 Sons and Grandmother to 2 Grandaughters and 5 Grandsons, I've got what I always wanted. Yes, life has it's ups and downs and it's thrown a couple of curved balls at me . One was nearly losing our middle son in a shopping disaster when he was 14 and the other was nearly losing our eldest son to a serious blood clot on the brain when he was 46. I feel loved by all of them. Everyone has what ifs and if only I could have such and such . Life is a bumpy road to travel but on the whole I feel I have all I've ever really wanted. Maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones !

Didn't give the future much thought other than wanted a different life from parents who were quite poor had to work very hard and certainly didn't have any luxuries in their life. I feel I have had a good life with a lot of opportunities work wise, caring husband, raised 3 children. The huge down in my life is DD died two years ago at 47.

My previous message should have read SHIPPING DISASTER NOT SHOPPING DISASTER !!!

Yes I am happy with mine despite my ongoing back pain. But I am so glad Mr B took early retirement and we did what we always wanted to do for 10 years. Now I am content.

No, I got married age 20 that was a mentally abusive marriage with him having numerous affairs, divorced after 25 years. Met a really lovely Scottish Man in my late forties who I expected to have a lovely retirement with doing lots together and spending lots of time with each other. He has got his own work with his Son working 7 days a week so expected retirement gone out of the window. I have gained a Step Son and 4 step grandchildren and also have a Daughter of my own with 2 grandchildren. I realise how lucky I am and fill my days looking after grandchildren and a bit of time on my own. I will be 70 in January and their is still no sign of my husband ever retiring.

A big fat NO ! Nuff said !

Well no, not really. I did not expect that I would be dealing with retirement on my own, following the death of my OH. I did not envisage the health and mobility buggerations that have come my way.

But I do count myself lucky in lots of ways (home, family etc.) ........but it was not what I had envisaged.

I had dreams for my life when I was younger that never came to pass, and I have had my share of sadness and grief, but also a good stable life compared to many. And now at 64 I live with a loving husband and a loving daughter, and my lovely cats. We live in a very modest house and my day to day life is humdrum and nothing very exciting happens but I feel loved and I am content with that.

This was a very good post. It has certainly made me count my blessings and realise any of my regrets are really minor.
Thank you for making me reflect.