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(99 Posts)
earnshaw Thu 03-Jun-21 18:08:41

congratulations to the various members of little mix ladies who all seem to be having babies at the same time. And I know this makes me sound old fashioned but doesnt anyone actually bother getting married before starting a family anymore ?

Lucca Sun 06-Jun-21 15:56:34

Namsnanny

Lucca

Probably said something like “ I hear Harry says he will enjoy playing football with his son AND his daughter. Typical woke comment ! I for one am fed up with women going against tradition and playing men’s sports “

Oh Lucca, you do make me laugh?

We aim to please

Lucca Sun 06-Jun-21 15:55:23

Razzy

Marriage is about religion. How many people still go to church on a Sunday? How many people would call themselves religious? Religion is a patriarchal concept to control women and give men power over women. Women married in the old days because it was security when women could not access support if the father of her children disappeared. They couldn’t even have bank accounts or get a mortgage. Even jobs would be hard to come by. That time has passed.

Is it about religion though ?

Alegrias1 Sun 06-Jun-21 14:33:15

A member of my family had three children before she married. I'm not sure if the man she married was the children's father. The first husband died and she married again.

She died in 1927. There's nothing new under the sun.

Smileless2012 Sun 06-Jun-21 14:02:35

It's a personal choice whether to marry before having children or marry at all.

For me and Mr S. the religious aspect of our marriage was very important; we both attend church regularly and ours is an equal partnership in all things so no problems with patriarchy, control and/or power.

Namsnanny Sun 06-Jun-21 13:41:39

Lucca

Probably said something like “ I hear Harry says he will enjoy playing football with his son AND his daughter. Typical woke comment ! I for one am fed up with women going against tradition and playing men’s sports “

Oh Lucca, you do make me laugh?

hollysteers Sun 06-Jun-21 12:32:57

Whatever you think of earnshaw he,she,they? They manage to get a long thread on the go.
An old fashioned thought; a proposal of marriage is to me, the ultimate compliment, even if not taken up, and it doesn’t have to be a £4000 job. A lot of weddings just look exactly the same.
Why would I live with someone not willing to propose marriage?
CanadianGran I believe a solicitor will tell you that a common law marriage leaves you in a vulnerable position without safeguards.
Having said that I’m glad attitudes have changed.

Razzy Sun 06-Jun-21 11:15:57

Marriage is about religion. How many people still go to church on a Sunday? How many people would call themselves religious? Religion is a patriarchal concept to control women and give men power over women. Women married in the old days because it was security when women could not access support if the father of her children disappeared. They couldn’t even have bank accounts or get a mortgage. Even jobs would be hard to come by. That time has passed.

Sara1954 Sun 06-Jun-21 08:59:08

One of my daughters has three children by two different men, we are very relieved she didn’t marry either of them, as that would have made the situation even more complicated and upsetting.

M0nica Sun 06-Jun-21 08:07:52

Fine thing to do when you have the income and capital to buy in all the help you need, even if you and the child's father part company, and unmarried partnerships have a far higher failure rate than marriages.

Not so jolly, when you are own, with no financial cushion,and need to work snd struggle to afford childcare.

Lucca Sun 06-Jun-21 07:02:25

Probably said something like “ I hear Harry says he will enjoy playing football with his son AND his daughter. Typical woke comment ! I for one am fed up with women going against tradition and playing men’s sports “

FannyCornforth Sun 06-Jun-21 03:34:08

Callistemon

I missed the football thread.
I'm really upset about that.

Lucca - the title was 'football' and it must have been in the process of being taken down when I clicked on it.
The removal message said ',We are taking this down while we take a look at a few things'

CanadianGran Sun 06-Jun-21 02:36:16

Society has changed the need for conventional marriage. Most young people do not belong to an organized religion so do not see any 'sin' in not being married. Government and law have protections for those in common law relationships so there really is no legal need to be married. And there is a huge 'peer pressure' to have the perfect wedding which sends costs through the roof.

I have 3 adult children, one legally married (no church), and two common law.

What I do like is having a commitment ceremony of some sort. I think having children before really committing to a relationship is more of the issue. I know these things happen, and often long happy relationships are the result, but I have seen too many relationships based on unplanned children that can cause a lot of heartbreak.

I have not heard of Little Mix, and Mel C is my favourite Spice Girl. I love the song she did with Brian Adams.

nanna8 Sun 06-Jun-21 01:58:22

I guess it is up to us lot to start threads and then they wouldn’t need the ring ins like earnshaw!

Chapeau Sun 06-Jun-21 00:48:10

Scottish law, unlike English law, requires you to state "Date and place of parents marriage" when registering a birth. These words do not appear on an English birth certificate. My eldest son (39) was born in Glasgow and the space in the box beneath these words is blank.
He couldn't care less.
However, this got me doing a spot of googling because I was curious about why there's a difference between the two birth certificates. Well, I tried all sorts of key words and what-not but got nowhere. Does anyone out there in the GN world happen to be a fount of knowledge on this topic?

Hithere Sat 05-Jun-21 23:39:30

"DDiLs who work full time and bring up DC and stay married!"

May I ask what is so special about it?

Callistemon Sat 05-Jun-21 23:14:23

I missed the football thread.
I'm really upset about that.

Lucca Sat 05-Jun-21 22:44:27

FannyCornforth

Op's football thread has been taken down, so this could be going the same way

What was it saying ?

Blossoming Sat 05-Jun-21 19:55:40

I missed a football thread? I am gutted!

sarcasm

Callistemon Sat 05-Jun-21 19:45:16

Little Mix are brilliant - feisty, kind and their records are good. My non- son in law was amazed that I knew who Little Mix were.

I know who they are because I saw them performing in a concert once; only saw a couple of numbers though.

The reason I was there is quite a long story so I won't bore you all with it grin

FannyCornforth Sat 05-Jun-21 18:53:23

Op's football thread has been taken down, so this could be going the same way

Parsley3 Sat 05-Jun-21 18:35:53

Grammaretto funnily enough I had a conversation with Mr P today about staying healthy as long as possible. I too admire our youngsters. Who gives a toss when they choose to have their babies.

Grammaretto Sat 05-Jun-21 17:27:52

Parsley3 grin
I am actually constantly in awe of how many women nowadays are so strong and feisty whether or not they are pop stars.
My own DD who has her own business. DDiLs who work full time and bring up DC and stay married!
On the other hand my job is to stay healthy so I can be co-opted to help and don't need looking after. So the role of grandparent has changed too.

Parsley3 Sat 05-Jun-21 17:03:41

Ilovecheese

I wonder if these sorts of threads are started in order to paint the older generation in a bad light, or to try and sell some sort of story to the press about how old fashioned older people are. They are all started with the same sort of theme.

You could be right. Women have had children out of wedlock since time began so there is nothing old fashioned about it as earnshaw well knows. But hey, let’s get critical of the young of today. It’s not as if we old fuddy duddies had any input to their upbringing.

Kandinsky Sat 05-Jun-21 16:57:56

I have 2 daughters who got married before having children - I’m really thankful for that.
I don’t care how old fashioned I sound but I’d have hated them to be unmarried mothers.
I’d never have a child with a man who didn’t want to marry me and I’m so glad they’re the same.

kittylester Sat 05-Jun-21 16:49:48

Lots of random thoughts -

Gary is my favourite Thatter - but is getting a bit over exposed nowadays.

I Gerry is my favourite Spice Girl though I think Sporty has the best voice.

Little Mix are brilliant - feisty, kind and their records are good. My non- son in law was amazed that I knew who Little Mix were.

I have 2 daughters who have had children out of wedlock!!!! One of them also had 2 while she was married to a narcissist- I know which way round I would prefer it.