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Friends who dip in and out of your life

(9 Posts)
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Judy54 Sat 05-Jun-21 17:02:22

Some years ago I had a friend who regularly dropped people from her life and picked them up again when she felt like it. She never told us why she did not want to see us or talk to us just stopped making contact and came back a few weeks/months later as though nothing had happened. She had strong views/opinions on all manner of things and would feel slighted if we did not agree with her. We (my friends) and I felt that she liked to be the centre of attention and played games with us by refusing to take our calls. Some friends got really upset and left messages for her saying please tell me what I have done/why you are upset with me. Some of us left messages saying it is a shame we have not heard from you but you know where we are if you want us. After a while she would write us general notes saying I don't like the hot/cold weather but never asking how we were or why she had not spoken to us for months. We came to the conclusion that she liked the drama of it all and decided not to play ball consequently she lost a lot of friends.

As far as we knew she did not have any health issues certainly none that she discussed with us. She was also very rude to her Husband in front of other people and constantly put him down. We have no idea where she is or what she is doing with her life.

Not sure what made her this way. Have you ever come across someone like this and how did you deal with it.

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timetogo2016 Sat 05-Jun-21 17:26:52

Attention seeker for sure.
What a pathetic person she is .
Stick to the real friends you have and stop enabling her.

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Kim19 Sat 05-Jun-21 17:29:21

Quite sad all round really. Nobody 'wins'.

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Chardy Sat 05-Jun-21 17:55:50

Of course she might have been having bouts of anxiety or depression, and been finding it difficult to leave the house or face people.

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cornishpatsy Sat 05-Jun-21 18:50:35

Sounds as though she did not want to be friends with all of you.

If I notice that it is me that makes all the contact with people I stop to see if they contact me. If they do not I assume they do not want to and do not contact them again.

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Polarbear2 Sat 05-Jun-21 19:29:55

Some people just don’t need other people in the same way. I have a friend like yours. I used to bother about her behaviour but I just accept it now. She’s lovely when she’s there and I appreciate her for that. She just doesn’t want to be ‘attached’ to others in the same way.

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CafeAuLait Sat 05-Jun-21 23:14:06

You said she doesn't have any problems "as far as I know". That's it there. You don't know and she might not be sharing. Maybe she has depression and sometimes just can't? Or health issues that flare? Or maybe she is one of those people you catch up with irregularly or once or twice a year? It's up to people if they want that kind of irregular relationship or not. If it's good when she is around, I'd just go with the ebb and flow of it.

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Judy54 Sun 06-Jun-21 13:48:58

No CafeAuLait it was never good when she was around. You cold be right that she was not sharing about health issues. However her behaviour was always like this in all the years that we had known her so it was nothing new. Which is why after a lot of thought my friends and I cut contact with her years ago and she is no longer part of our lives.

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PinkCakes Sun 06-Jun-21 18:31:17

My ex-daughter-in-law is like that. She used to ignore calls and texts, quite often ignore us in person (not even acknowledging we were there, in fact she sat upstairs when we visited our son once). She's been like it with so many people and most have got tired of her peculiar ways. We reckon she's a psychopath in the true sense of the word - she has every one of the characteristics.

Thankfully, our son got wise to her in the end and left her. She's still been the same, with her subsequent boyfriends. Nobody stays with her for long because she's so difficult.

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