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(71 Posts)
Namsnanny Mon 14-Jun-21 11:44:23

After thinking, I can honestly say I have only known 3 times in my life when I was deeply contented and knew i was in the right place doing the right thing well.
Obviously I've felt fleeting happiness or excitement at let's say, a line of washing in the breeze, a pay rise or the first Snowdrops, my children, and plenty more.
But that satisfying feeling that I did the right thing well hasn't occurred very often.

How different to others is my experience?

vampirequeen Mon 14-Jun-21 12:38:49

I don't do happy very often. I never felt it or anger until a few years ago. I didn't understand what the feelings were in either case and had to have them explained to me. So all I can say is that I think I feel happy sometimes but I'm not sure.

Namsnanny Mon 14-Jun-21 12:46:49

Have you explained this to any health professional vampirequeen?
But if it doesnt bother you why fix it?smile
I dont want this next sentence to sound flippant, but maybe it's a blessing not to be tossed around by the vagaries of emotions?
Or maybe not.

Newatthis Mon 14-Jun-21 13:19:21

How awful for you Vampirequeen not to feel the emotions other people do. Is this a medical condition you have?

Kate1949 Mon 14-Jun-21 13:24:32

I'm a bit like you vq. I feel like I've had my emotions deadened by life events.

dragonfly46 Mon 14-Jun-21 13:27:22

I have quite often been in a situation where I have felt pure happiness and counted my blessings. There have been too many to count but I do appreciate little things.

Namsnanny Mon 14-Jun-21 13:45:59


I'm a bit like you vq. I feel like I've had my emotions deadened by life events.

That's very hard on you Kate1949
I'm wondering if true fulfilment that comes after all our needs have been met is quite elusive?

I know its human to just look for the next 'thing' to make us happy ( if I have a bigger house, a different partner, a comfortable pair of shoes etc.) but it has to end sometime.
Then we have to look inside for satisfaction?
Or maybe we can gratify ourselves until we die and never need to think further?

Namsnanny Mon 14-Jun-21 13:48:07


I have quite often been in a situation where I have felt pure happiness and counted my blessings. There have been too many to count but I do appreciate little things.

Is it possible to describe those occasions dragonfly46?

Peasblossom Mon 14-Jun-21 14:29:40

I think I’m happy almost all the time until somebody else does something to make me unhappy or a bad thing happens.

And then there’s another level which is the experience of bliss.

DanniRae Mon 14-Jun-21 14:36:04

I am very easily made to feel happy. For example I have just been sitting in the garden watching our 2 year old grandson and Mr R splashing one another with water bottles and having a great time. This made me happy grin However I am also very easily made unhappy sad A thoughtless gesture or unkind word and I am left feeling unhappy and this feeling can last for a while. I also laugh very easily and cry very easily. I guess you could say that my emotions are very near the surface!

Poppyred Mon 14-Jun-21 14:54:11

It’s the little things that make me happy. Hearing my grand children laughing, a sunny day with nothing to do, the smell of summer rain.

I’m like Kate1949 emotions have been deadened by life’s ups and downs.

dragonfly46 Mon 14-Jun-21 15:01:12

Namsnanny one example was fairly recently I was down staying with my DD and we went out for a drink in a lively bar in Blackheath. It was a warm evening and a couple of their friends joined us. I remember feeling that this is happiness and sheer contentment. Another time I remember just getting up in the morning and realising there was nothing I had specifically to do and again felt sheer contentment.
Maybe I am easily pleased but I have had a lot of worries recently and when I have peace of mind I feel happy.

halfpint1 Mon 14-Jun-21 15:04:44

Since Menopause I have been much happier / balanced / contented than all those years of going hormonally up and down as my menstral month proceeded.

The oestrogen dropping bothers me less than the benefits of escape from being hormonal.

I find it difficult now to remember being happy during my
30's to 50's

dragonfly46 Mon 14-Jun-21 15:17:51

I was at my happiest in my 30's and 40's when my children were at home.

Bridgeit Mon 14-Jun-21 17:31:17

Perhaps this is because it is not always possible or required to do or to even be a necessity to do the ‘right thing’. Therefore the feeling of satisfaction is more intensified when it does occurs.
Doing the right thing implies decisions & possible sacrifices which will be intense by nature
but hopefully not a regular occurrence, if it were to be a regular it would no doubt take its toll.

Calendargirl Mon 14-Jun-21 17:38:18

Happiness is fleeting.

The simplest things can trigger feelings of pure joy, but they don’t last.

Most of us settle for being contented, which is a good state to be in.

‘A contented mind is a blessing kind’.

Daisydaisydaisy Tue 15-Jun-21 10:37:38

Hi there
I'm the happiest I've been for years ..split with My Husband over 5 years ago after being unhappy for years..met someone else and as corny as it may sound hes My friend toosmile

Beanie654321 Tue 15-Jun-21 10:38:10

I have many happy moments and try to concentrate on them rather than the unhappy ones. My grandsons and children visiting ensure I get a daily dose as they visit most days. Being with my husband ensures happiness more than sadness. We all have unhappy moments, but just need to turn them around or forget them. Happiness is a state of mind. Xxxxx

polnan Tue 15-Jun-21 10:40:25

Kate 1949 I've had my emotions deadened by life events.

I wish I had! so tossed around by emotions/feelings since dh died and lockups....

just to be content... would be so wonderful.. I am NOT discontented.. just would like not to be in these fluctuating feeling/emotions... I try NOT to examine them.. and just get on with life.

Annanan Tue 15-Jun-21 10:45:02

3 moments of utter happiness, which I acknowledged to myself at the time.
1. Turning to walk down the aisle with my new husband
2. Looking at my first baby after her birth.
3. Passing my driving test first time.
Many moments of utter contentment since!

SillyNanny321 Tue 15-Jun-21 10:49:54

Seeing my newborn son for the first time & still feeling happy seeing him 42 years later!

Theoddbird Tue 15-Jun-21 10:50:44

Yesterday happiness was my friend Mrs Duck bringing her ten ducklings to see me and show them where to find free food on a regular basis. Mrs Duck visits regularly and will feed from my hand....

Newgran59 Tue 15-Jun-21 10:54:41

Some great comments here. Agree that moments of great happiness are few and need to be treasured. I also find my emotions have been dulled by events in my past, but make an effort to be thankful each day for the smallest of things.

1summer Tue 15-Jun-21 10:57:03

Often when I feel deeply happy its quickly followed by a feeling of anxiety because I know this happiness is fleeting. It upsets me that I cannot enjoy “the moment”. Its not as if I am unhappy most of the time but I wish I could learn to better enjoy the deeply happy moments.

albertina Tue 15-Jun-21 11:02:34

What a very interesting post. Thought provoking.

I am starting a whole new life at 70 and have not been feeling happy at all most of the time.

I am finding adjusting difficult, but last week when I was in town with my 14 year old Granddaughter she put her hand in mine as we walked down the street.I was filled with a wonderful sense of happiness.