Growing up without going to shops

Shops are not going anywhere, they just change how they do business
Especially after covid, at least on the US, curbside pickups, drive through, shop online and pick up - are here to stay

I dont see costco disappearing, for example.

Life changes with the decades, it is all reinvented to adapt to the new habits and society rules.

[smile !] have to laugh at this post ....a few years back my daughter wrote a small book after my grandson apparently asked her 'Mummy, what is a shop ?' .....quite appropriate now I think ! I have never read it, as she hasnt spoken to me for years and I have never seen said grandson ....but I found her now mother in law from a lot of searching, and she has put the book on her FB page ...I also found it on Amazon ...never ordered one though !! I LOVE shopping ...have to stop myself going as I have far too much 'stuff' ! I now go for long walks to keep me away from the shops !!!!

Quite apart from the immersive experience of shopping, (how on earth do your grandchildren get properly fitted with new shoes, maydonoz?), children are missing out on understanding of money and how it works. They never see or handle it! They never see it given in exchange for goods!

Anyone who has tried to teach young children about money will know how difficult it is. As for handing it over and expecting to get change....that's a non starter. You could give them a £20 note for an ice cream and they'd come skipping back from the van with their ice cream i.e. no change! I've set up so many classroom shops and observed children handling 'money'. Understanding of money ought to begin at home. (Not to mention toilet training, hand washing, shoelace tying, speaking in sentences etc.) No wonder so many younger people are in debt when there's no connection between the plastic cards and actually having money. I never used to understand the saying, 'You can't have your cake and eat it!' but I would've understood, 'You can't spend your money and still have it!' Of course, ever increasing credit limits mean you can...up to a point when the bailiffs come knocking on your door!

Yes, I'm a retired Key Stage 1 teacher. Did you guess? ??

In years gone by, no doubt grandparents watched in horror as their younger folk started to go to the supermarkets rather than interacting with the green grocers, the butchers, etc. Things change and so do the experiences of our grandchildren.

I like an odd morning going to the shops. When I was a kid I looked forward to a shopping trip with my mum, pocket money in my little purse, all excited to look around Woolworths.
I see lovely clothes or shoes, send for them and they look nothing like they did on my screen so sometimes it's better to see it in the shop. Only problem is then that I buy far more when I'm browsing in the shops.

Lizzy

Money management can be learned anywhere, not only going to shops.

You dont need to have physical money on your hands to understand the value of items and budgeting.

Math still exists - I tell my kids they only have $x to spend so please look at the prices of what they want to buy.
If it is more expensive than the money they have, they have to save more and come back to buy it or pick something cheaper or choose to save it to pick something bigger.

"how on earth do your grandchildren get properly fitted with new shoes"

Very easy and uncomplicated.
Websites have sizing charts, you measure the person's feet and you see what size is the best.
If you are between sizes, pick the bigger one or order two in doubt and return one

Families have changed. Times have changed.

Now going to stores means - of course during business hours, which may not be the most convenient
- get everybody ready
- load them in car or bus or method of transportation
- find parking and park car
- go to store and find your items
- pay
- go to car/bus
-hoping there is no traffic

... you get the idea - what may take 30 min online takes 2 hours in real life

Yes, I pick online if I can do it at 11 pm and spend those 2-3 hours cooking dinner, playing with my kids, relaxing as a family, etc.

Time is money
Convenience is also a very important factor, in the busy world that parents with kids live in

If you never go to the shops, where do you get new ideas from. Do people just eat the same meals every week? I physically shop each week, Waitrose and Morrison’s always have good stuff for those of us that cook. Our local market has the most delicious range of fruit, veg, and herbs. My daughter’s four children all accompany her, individually, shopping and are adept at picking out the best value to buy - good for mental arithmetic and appraising produces quality. Social skills are honed, so is the ability to spot and bargain. Son earns fabulous money by using market place skills at an international level. There is far more to shopping than first percdived.

nanna8

It is different here. Most people still actually go to the shops, usually at the weekend if they are working during the week. You can get deliveries but priority is given to older people and people with disabilities. I had one delivery during our isolation period after returning from overseas. Half the stuff was missing and I wasn’t too impressed with the rest so, never again!

I’ve been using Ocado recently and could get next day delivery (I am neither elderly or disabled) if I wanted it (which I didn’t) and have never had any missing items. I think you may be referring to early lockdown days but it is entirely different now. I worked in food retail until 3 months ago and it has all changed from a year+ ago.

I never took my children to the shops. I have always hated shopping so I didn't want to inflict the misery on them. I shan't be taking my grandchildren either. As for buses, my youngest daughter would endlessly ask if we could go on a bus. So in the end I gave in. She was so excited. Agreeing to go upstairs she ran up, slipped, shaved all the skin off her shin. Big fat tears ran down her face but she sat at the front of that bus and didn't say a word about her nasty injury. She never asked to go on a bus again though.

Hithere I'm guessing you haven't experienced the frustration of trying to teach young children about money! It's part of the maths curriculum but it's just not real for children who never handle actual money and never see it change hands. A child in my class lost his first tooth and proudly told me that the tooth fairy left him a two pound note. When I gently pointed out that such a thing doesn't exist he said, "Oh! Silly me! It was a twenty pound note!" At least he'd learned about the existence of numbers... ?

If we are moving towards a cashless society (which has implications far beyond sticking with familiar transactional behaviour) then why do children need to be taught how to handle money using cash?

Schools are supposed to prepare children for life after they leave, so why teach them something that will probably be obsolete by the time they are adults?

They could learn to budget by 'ordering' items from a supermarket website, or older ones could be taught to manage a salary, factoring in bills, interest rates etc, and learn to prioritise payments and to differentiate between wants and needs. More useful in the long run than swapping plastic coins for plastic vegetables, when the chances are they will not grow up to do this for real.

Lizzy

Yes, I am teaching my kids right now, thanks for asking.

Like doodledog said, the tendency is to move towards electronic payment methods, not cash.

I was married in 1965 and for many years had a regular order, from a small shop, delivered every Friday. During the week the milkman called daily, a fish man came round in a van as did a grocer. There was no need to go to a shop. I still don't shop unless necessary though my late husband loved shopping, Possibly because I never ordered "treats"

I should add I have always, and still do, grow most of my own vegetables.

As a child I was taken to the Co-op a almost every day as we had no fridge until I was about nine or ten. I'd wait outside the greengrocer, the elderly (it seemed to me) man behind the counter would come out, say hello and pinch my cheek which I found excruciating in more ways than one. He'd sometimes give me a few pennies - that probably doesn't happen these days.

At around 8 or 9 years my sister and I would do a small grocery shop each Saturday morning for grandma who lived round the corner which gave us a chance to deal with handling change.

I'm not sure we particularly enjoyed either of these but we just did them as we were expected to help. Note - our brothers rarely had to lift a finger - when we mentioned this it was 'because they were boys' which we felt was unfair.

I forgot! You can also role play at home with games that mimic real money- buying, paying, change, etc

When I was a child there were no home fridges or freezers so shopping for food was daily and when small the children had to be taken shopping daily. Even in the 1940s this was the same with my children when they were small, But when they were older they preferred to be playing with their friends.
A few years ago when I was able to go to town for my weekly shopping I could not understand why on a nice sunny day the town was full of screaming kids at half term when the local park was empty.

As my friend says internet shopping is fraught with disappointment.
I cant help thinking that once the high street is empty and we can only internet shop they will start charging for things to be returned.
I for one refuse to shop online and will support local independent shops to the bitter end!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I also shop almost exclusively online for home delivery, not just this past year but before the pandemic too, because of health issues traipsing from one High Street shop to another was a nightmare for me. But I agree that many youngsters are missing out on learning valuable skills by not shopping in person. Not only budgeting and money handling, how to compare prices and quality and find a bargain, but also how to behave in shops, interact with other shoppers and shop staff patiently and politely. I am sometimes appalled at the bad manners of adults in shops. Our GC all go shopping with their parents (and the older ones on their own), and sometimes with us when they visit.

As a child I was usually taken shopping simply to help carry the bags home. But I enjoyed it especially if we went to a market, and I still love markets.

There are sales, special offers and many more places to look for good buys online, but as always, it is a matter of personal choice. A free for all fight to rummage through looking for bargains just wouldn't suit me now, but I did it sometimes when I was younger and fitter.

Carolpaint

If you never go to the shops, where do you get new ideas from. Do people just eat the same meals every week? I physically shop each week, Waitrose and Morrison’s always have good stuff for those of us that cook. Our local market has the most delicious range of fruit, veg, and herbs. My daughter’s four children all accompany her, individually, shopping and are adept at picking out the best value to buy - good for mental arithmetic and appraising produces quality. Social skills are honed, so is the ability to spot and bargain. Son earns fabulous money by using market place skills at an international level. There is far more to shopping than first percdived.

I shop online at waitrose and ocado. Both of them have "new in", "seasonal" and "recipe suggestions" You don't need to shop to practice social skills or bargain hunt....and I don't think the staff in waitrose (ort my local market come to that) would be too keen on dickering prices with children...or adults for that matter!
I get that we are all different and like to do things in different ways but please don't run away with the idea that the only way is your way

Parsley3

It occurred to me that my grandchildren won’t know how to use money, coins and notes that is, as I usually pay with a card. In fact at the moment I don’t have a single note in my purse. I need to think of a new way of handing over pocket money.

Parsley3
Some of our GC have 'Go Henry' accounts set up by their parents.
https://www.gohenry.com/uk/
Money can be paid into their accounts by grandparents and friends etc. (previously approved by their parents) and they they can spend it how they wish. Their parents can also monitor what is being sent to them and how they spend it. You can also specify exactly when they receive the money such as on a birthday or a week before. And I think regular payments can be set up for weekly pocket money etc.
Might be worth exploring.

We moved to a small village when I was quite young and rarely went to any shops. My uncle was a grocer in Norwich and had a delivery round. Mum phoned an order in once a week (most people did this from the phone box, but we had our own line!) and he delivered it on Saturday afternoons. The fish van and bakers van came once a week too and of course the milkman every day. Then there was the Betterware man and the Avon lady. The knife sharpener on his special bike once every six months or so. Even a French onion seller once a year. Clothes were mostly ordered from the catalogue and returns posted back from the local post office free of charge. The only thing we went shopping for was shoes which mum insisted should be fitted. Every six months or so there would be an excursion into the city for them and anything else we could get delivered. Early November was the big treat. A whole day in the city for winter shoes and Christmas presents! Home shopping isn't a new phenomenon, it's been around ever since the carriers cart.