The Argy back to basics.

That may work GSM. ixionused to be part of AB12 so may have some ideas.
doodle is good at hiding money so she may think of a secure place for the axe.

In the poteen? If it rusts it might add a certain je ne sais quoi?

The poteen recipe is a secret. Better that you don't know. Jet Set would be the one I think ixion. It would suit her.

Brunhilde was excited about a new outfit so I gave her some money from the till (don't tell doodle or lemon.) I told her they wouldn't let her in the shop with an axe so she has gone off without it.

Ideas please as to where to hide this damnable axe.

PS. Is it best not to ask what’s in the new improved brew?

That axe has gotta go, AGA. Let her keep the helmet pro tem? Ply her with a couple of swift, potent pints and nick the axe while she sleeps.
Perhaps we could mellow her by packing her off to Madame Frou Frou's for a modest frock for the karaoke session tonight instead.
Did you think it would be a good idea to brew a special bevvy in Jet's memory?
Jet Fuel/Stream/Set/Lag/Jump Jet?

Glad to hear all’s well at the Argy. Phew! Take your point re rozzers. Will certainly be there as soon as I’m given unsupervised day release, waiting to find out when that will be (coming in with a screw will do none of us any good). Sounds like Brunhilde can be put to good use at the Argy and perhaps get free chips at the chippy though would she eat them all on way back? Speaking of which will her head be turned by the sausages? I guess there will be some good entertainment when the Admiral turns up ?.

Brunhilde has come down to the cellar wanting a pint or two of poteen. She still has her axe. Not too happy about the effects of alcohol on Brunhilde plus axe.
We need to find her something to do before she starts wielding that axe. The llamas are looking very nervous. So is Thor.

No rozzers at the Argy GSM. They may find things here that are best not found. Still don't know where those little packets of white powder got to.
Thor and I are in the cellar with the llamas. We are always here brewing away so come on down. You can be the first to taste the new improved brew.

With doodle's blessing I am planning to interview Brunhilde for some sort of employment, possibly evenings only if we can palm her off make arrangements for her to work in the Chippy during the day.
Certainly not light duties. I was thinking Bar work and Bouncer? Should we give her a trial period and see how she goes? Probably not as popular as May Hem.

We will have to give her something more appropriate to wear. I am currently unaware what kind of visual message she is projecting...
Or maybe I am?‍♀️
(Careful with that axe, Eugene)

I’m worried. All very quiet at the Argy and the Tower and with Muse. Has Brunhilde run amok with the Axe? Has Happy had the threatened chop? Has Muse been discovered on her pasty delivery? Should I call the rozzers?

Nah. Definitely a Great Dane.
Lurpak Lil.
But steady with the stereotyping - don't we have a fellow 'Netter who hails from those parts?

I think she looks like someone who would enjoy a large sausage. We could arrange for her to help at the chippy in the morning lifting the sacks of potatoes and then they could feed her battered sausage and chips.

Or is she a Dane? Bacon sarnies in that case.

I think that German people enjoy large sausages?

But how are we going to feed her? I’ve already seen her eyeing up Gnasher and he’s looking a bit worried ..

Brunhilde could be a real asset to The Argy, especially on karaoke nights, she could also be on the door and throw out noisy drunks ( get that bum outta here!) LauraNorder used to fulfil that function ( nobody would mess with her on a Friday night that’s for sure) but an even bigger woman, and with her own axe...well, what a gift eh? Just alert the Admiral that she’s here so he can lie low for a bit ( his favourite position.)

Doodle

She could work in the cellar lifting barrels…..one under each arm ?

??

She could work in the cellar lifting barrels…..one under each arm ?

She’s certainly very different to poor Mary Rose, I wonder what happened to her ? Cast aside like an old fish I expect

Perhaps she could work in the Admiral's shop, as he is setting sail?
Failing that, how about employing her on Friday nights in the Argy as a Bouncer, when the Riff Raff kick off?

AGA you been at the dictionary again. I’ve told you before, big words aren’t good for you ?
Yes Brunhilde is still here and convinced she is betrothed to the Admiral. He has run back to his shop and is setting sail as we speak. What will we do with her? Do we know anyone who would like a voluptuous lady friend………with her own axe?.?

Happyme you are safer where you are at the moment. People are shouting and singing Sweet Caroline. Madness.

Crikey ixion Brunhilde looks like the antithesis to May Hem. That was a big word for Aga!

Don’t worry Happy it was only a football match. I gather there will be another on Sunday. Brace yourself for more of the same and maybe weeks of it if we actually win, floods of tears if we don’t. Hope you have sandbags there. I expect it will be all hands and llamas on deck at the Argy.

I hope Muse hasn’t seen Ruby, she sounds like good pasty material...